... tales of your lil rolling stone ...

I LOVE LAOS!

2011-04-13T06:22:00.000-07:00

What a dramatically spectacular last night in Laos! After a bleeding hot and humid day, as the sun was setting, Mother Nature started gusting her winds, bolder with each breath. The rain is pouring down onto the tin roof above me, beyond my protecting mozzie net. I’ve just about packed everything for my 9:30 bus in the morning and am blissfully reflecting on my last few days.

Here in Vang Vieng I’ve formed a little family. They found me my first night when I was having a sundowner at a bar on the river and writing. They were in the booth next to me and started including me in some of their jokes. One of the guys came and sat next to me and said, squinting and pointing his finger at me, “You look like you’re very interesting. I’m tired and going now, but I would like to find out more about you. Do you want to grab a meal with me tomorrow?" I suppose that’s the closest thing as being asked out on a date that I’ve been graced with in a long time. It was super sweet and all I said, smiling, was, “I’m really not that interesting." I thought he was a creepy guy but as I grew to know Steve I found that is just his way of life. He talks to everyone, especially people he’s intrigued by. He’s a weathered Welsh hippie with a heart of gold and more funny stories than the endless Friends episodes that were playing at all the bars.

(Yes - side note, Friends and Family Guy re-runs were being played at every bar and restaurant. And people just lounged around during the hot days watching those shows. Bizarre! Yet I did do it - just one day! - and it was like I had all the comforts of home all the way across the world.)

So Steve became my first friend when we bumped into each other again the next day in town. He was hanging out with 2 other single girl travelers, both also from California. None of them knew each other prior to getting to Laos. Jen and Danielle were such open, happy, amazing women. We all met and clicked and have laughed for hours and hours and just provided a warm environment for each other, where you can be silly and you’re protected.

Aside from a whole hot of hanging out in hammocks with a non-osculating osculating fan we also got out of the town and enjoyed the nature. We rented bikes one day and rode them out to the Blue Lagoon, which was this gorgeous crystal blue natural spring with big, colorful chillin woven straw mats on the lawn above it and a bunch of people laying out, eating, drinking, playing soccer, just picnicking and enjoying the natural beauty. From there you could walk up a trail for about 10 minutes and get into a huuuuuge cave. I guess you can go back into the cave for 2 hours - it’s that big! We only went inside and climbed around a little bit. There was a gold statue of a Thai god or something, sleeping, in this little shrine. It was a memorable view… this sleeping God in the depths of this huge limestone mountain which was illuminated by the only bit of sun beans sneaking in the small cave openings.

Probably the biggest touristy thing in Vang Vieng is the tubing. Tons of gap-year kids get dropped off with tubes at the other end of the river, where there are bars on the water pumping dance music and lots of girls in bikinis and shirtless guys getting wasted and partying. As you tube down there are bars all along the river and they pull you in and give you free shots and stuff. And there are rope swims and trapezes from platforms all over with these drunk kids flying by. It’s really a hysterical scene, and although we didn’t want to partake, we did want to check it out. I should be clear about why we didn’t want to participate… if those things didn’t sound like enough of a reason… in town you see SO many people injured. A guy in a neck brace, a girl in a sling, lots of people with motorcycle burns and bandaged limbs. If anyone would get hurt I am certain I would so NO.

Instead we went to the Mulberry Organic Farm across the river from the tubing drop-off bar to check out the farm and then maybe spy on the tubing scene a little. After discovering yummy organic Mulberry Wine from the riverside in our sophisticated wine glasses, and proper laughing ensuing over the party people, we did exactly what I knew we would. We joined them. We joined the tubers.

Kind of. The bar we went to was pretty empty and pumping good break beat music and we had a big deck above the river all to ourselves, where we shared stories and some booty-shaking. After a beer the trapeze became a serious consideration. That shit was from a HIGH platform and I didn’t have a bathing suit, so I thought I was in the clear. Not so. Me and my cute yellow dress (which I later lost. Yes really. I don‘t know how either.) did the water trapeze and then we were joined by all these super cute Lao kids who went on the trapeze with us, laughing and smiling and having so much fun. Playing with the kids was a pristine part of a beautiful day. It helped me be a kid again. Just for those few hours. Carefree and happy.

I’m chillin in my hammock watching the last of the storm roll past and thinking how damn lucky I am. This brief adventure in my life is coming to an end, and from it I’ve learned more than I ever thought I would. I love Laos and would love to spend weeks in the backcountry here learning more about the people and saturating myself in the natural beauty. It’s an interesting time to be here because you can see it’s rapidly changing and in a few years it will be more touristy, less authentic. I know that I am probably destined to go back to business, and can only hope my appreciation for the small things, the REAL things, will continue once I have a full wallet and a small amount of time off again. Tonight I sleep in a rugged bungalow owned by a local man and his wife. Everything around me is basic but keeps me safe and happy. I pay $5 a night for this. And the reality is I am so much happier than I was when I had a full bank account and an expensive NY City apartment. I fear losing a lot of what I’ve learned here. I’ve been pulled into this life unexpectedly for a reason. To learn all these lessons. I’ve got to be a trailblazer. Continue to be, I should say. I’ve got to find ways to keep life this simple, this good. It won’t be easy.

Wow, that is a eerie statement: I’ve got to find ways to keep life this simple, this good. It won’t be easy.

Recalculating…

I'm a Weapon of Mass Consumption

2011-04-04T23:53:00.000-07:00

Tuesday April 5: Vientiane, Laos

I arrived in Vientiane, Laos last night after a ferry, taxi, 2 planes and another taxi. I am so glad I came here. Immediately when I got off that tiny plane into a little airport, people approached me so kindly and warm, smiling and speaking perfect English. Offering services but not being pushy at all. It’s such a stark contrast from yesterday, when I got off the ferry that took me from Koh Phangan to Koh Samui (to catch my plane up here) and was swarmed by people in company polo shirts holding up maps and taxi prices trying to get me into their overpriced taxi (which I actually did out of sheer fear).

I have coined Vientiane, “Consumption Junction.” For me. I finished my fast/detox yesterday and last night did my very best job at re-toxifying. It definitely took a pathetically puny amount to do it, but for the first time in Thailand (!!… I am sofuckingold) I went out drinking with a cool group of (22yr old) kids and then went dancing. This morning I could barely scrape my ass out of bed to have breakfast before 11. But this is Consumption Junction. We consume here. So I powered on. In the elevator I met a cool guy from Santa Monica who invited me to join him and his friend for smoke. Cha-ching! So needless to say having a great morning, feel great and recovered from last night and consuming lots…. Of water. And espresso. And a yummy oatmeal raisin cooking.

The re-toxification process is well deserved though. I only did a 4 ½ day detox at Ananda Wellness Resort but it was no joke. Every hour I had to be at the Detox Bar or having a treatment, which was great because it kept me mildly busy. I’d start every day at 7:30 at the bar drinking (what I think was) a fiber drink. A hour later I’d take a handful of herbal capsules. A little later I’d have an hour massage, shake and then a colonic. The rest of the day was much of the shakes and herbs and then in the evening another colonic. I had 9 effing colonics in 5 days. If that didn’t flush out the shit (haha) lodged internally, nothing will.

On top of the regular detox I did a liver and gallbladder cleanse, and a treatment for parasites. All that means is I had a few other concoctions a few times a day. The interesting thing is I expected to feel like shit, and I never did. I mean, I was tired, yes. And one night after drinking ½ cup of olive oil mixed with lime juice, I was nauseous. Who wouldn’t be though. Other than that it was completely bearable. I wasn’t even hungry. Except the last night, knowing I could eat the next day. The little kid at fat camp came out in me and I found myself scheming to leave and get some potato chips (of all things). But I was strong!

I did dream every night about food. And once about smoking. And once that my parents bought me a house. None of that actually transpired, though. Unfortunately. (The house was super cool.)

In the end I lost 3 kilos, so about 6 pounds. Yeah! Beer belly be gone!

There was a yoga school attached to the resort and I took a couple classes, but they were 2 hour classes of the hatha nature, which means realllllly spiritual chackra stuff and standing still and feeeeeeling the energy. I love that at times but definitely not in that state.

Actually - no, I never love that. I’m lying. I get so bored. I know the point is to practice so you can train your mind to be still but I just don’t have the patience for it, to be honest. Definitely not when all the built up toxins and internal crap is pouring into my bloodstream and trying frantically to find a way out. I will say, the colonics I had after those classes were… dare I say… delightful!

The last night there the resort had a live jam-session which was really groovetastic. I couldn’t help but think of my mom and what she’d think. Sometimes I try to see things through her eyes, and I know exactly what she’d say and the look she’d give me. I am laughing right now, because I am picturing my mom’s ‘what the hell is this?’ look (which, I just realized, I copied and do the same look, so you will know hers if you picture mine). There were the African drums and a guitar played by shirtless, tan and skinny, long-haired, thai fisherman pant-wearing dudes. A sitar. A sax with a hot little lady ripping it up. And this shaman-type dude ‘singing’. Really it was more of a grunting in pitches held in long notes. Once in a while he sounded like an American Indian doing a ritual around a fire. (hOOwaaaaWhoOOooaaahhh, hOOwaaaaWhoOOooaaahhh).

Lounging around them on colorful, triangle thai floor cushions were dread-locked, happy, barefoot hippies, occasionally picking up a home-made instrument and joining in. In general, just totally blissed out zensters. The guy in front of me had this really cool piece of bamboo with (walnut?) shells roped around it so he was the cow bell. More (Cow) Shell! We were all held together by a lovely bamboo hut strung with lights and a (finally) clear sky.

My favorite though was this French guy who had a steel pipe about 3 feet long painted aqua-blue. From that he pulled out an almost identical pipe and fastened them together, so it was about 6 feet long. When he first started playing it like a didgeridoo he got my attention and immediately made me smile. Then when I thought it couldn’t be better he started beat-boxing using the mouth of the didgeridoo. And THEN he SOMEHOW managed to be playing the didgeridoo AND beat-boxing simultaneously. Brilliance!!! It’s not often I see something so unique and totally virtuoso and I was blown away.

(thank you thesaurus, ‘virtuoso’ - great word!)

I must go. Consumption Junction is calling. Ciao for now!

The Movie Star, Professor and Mary-Ann...

2011-03-30T05:44:00.000-07:00

I finally got away from the hotel I’ve been stranded and lonely in, watching the torrential tropical rains from my bungalow and feeling the huge gusts of wind rip the leaves off the trees surrounding me. Protecting me. Before I did I was able to rent a DVD player in my bungalow and I watched ‘The Beach’ with Leonardo DeCaprio, which was actually filmed in Bangkok and here in the islands in Thailand and it was fun to watch what it *would* look like here if it weren’t pouring. Crazy to believe it’s the same place. Just as crazy was looking through the brochure for my resort, Tommy’s, which appears to be at the heart of the full moon parties. These photos show tons of people partying to psy-trance on the beach, painting their bodies in glow paints, drinking buckets of coke/rum/red bull and raving their asses off. The only people I saw while I was there were the people running around repairing leaving bungalows, collecting wind-thrown trash and branches, etc. I can’t believe it was the same place!!

Today I was able to get to the other side of the island to a detox/yoga place called Ananda Wellness Resort. My taxi driver showed me the HUGE boulder that had fell, blocked half of the road and taken down the electric line, which is why we were without electricity for 2 days. The entire island is in shambles. During our drive he told me he’d never seen this before. We’re supposed to be ‘sweating our tits off.’ Ahhh how I wish we were.

I had to switch taxis at the pier (because nothing can be as smooth as 1 car actually going a whole 10km in Thailand) and there were hundreds of backpackers, hiding under roofs and waiting and trashing 7-11. They were all waiting for the boat the army was sending over to get ‘stranded’ people on the island. No other boats have been able to go back and forth for days. I later heard that boat, too, was canceled. I can hear the Gilligan’s Island song in my head. “Well sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…” I wonder who I’d be. Probably Gilligan, no? Even the army can’t help us! Shit!

So heading to Ananda’s for this detox that starts tomorrow I seriously feel like I’m checking into fat camp. And I’m acting like it, too. While I was waiting for my 2nd taxi I went into 7-11 to get tea, because that seemed like a healthy thing to do, but there was so much mayhem in there and so crazy I instinctively grabbed a bag of chocolates and in the taxi started ramming them in my mouth, barely chewing, smiling a chocolate-glistening grin with crumbs all over me. I saved half the bag and once I got in my room I shoved the rest down my throat even faster. I was manically giggling and shoving the food in. Like a fat kid sneaking food at fat camp. I’m totally serious. I’m THAT pathetic.

Since I don’t technically start until 8am tomorrow I am shoveling in some pasta and beer and will have a cigarette for dessert.

2011-03-27T21:24:00.000-07:00

My last days in Pai kept being extended. Just when I thought I would leave the next day I reconsidered and stayed. This happened twice and I still wish I had stayed longer. Pai is a tiny little town jam-packed with hippies, shops, bars, live music and fashion victims. Like Burningman there’s a hippie fashion throughout but no one would ever claim to never be a fashion victim. Everyone’s so ‘different’ and ‘unique’ but really people start to bleed together and look the same. It’s funny how that happens. I’m a total victim of the baggie multi-colored pants and headbands, so there. All I need are some dreadlocks. And don’t think I haven’t been considering it.

The hippie laid-back vibe and interesting people I met just grew exponentially in my heart every day. Usually when I travel alone I hole up, by choice, which I did a lot there, but I also stopped to talk to people and get their stories, and every one was more interesting than the last. Even through grueling stories of losing wives to bipolar schizophrenia and things of the sort, the contentment of each individual was something you can’t explain unless you look in their eyes, or pass them in the street with a big grin, and get the same in return. Dancing eyes.

There were also the people who landed there for a 3-day visit and live there - and these people were everywhere. I can totally see how it would happen. It’s such a magical little piece of heaven. With killer drink specials, cheap yummy food, $5 massages, live music and scenic mountains seemingly surrounding Pai with a warm, cozy hug.

I rented a bike to go to the waterfall not knowing it was 12km uphill. It was over 95 degrees and smack in the middle of the day, with the sun beating down on me and the ground moving higher and higher with each step. I had to push the damn 1-speed bike about 11 of the 12km because it was so steep. It took me over 2 hours to get there and less than a ½ to get back. The waterfall was totally not worth it but the challenge was, and at least I got to justify the massage afterward.

Speaking of massages, one night I was having a massage at sunset and could hear some progressive house music and bass in the distance and between that, the vibe, the smells and the weather I felt I could have actually been at Burningman. After my massage I followed the music to - of course - a DJ from San Francisco, Max, who was planning to go to Burningman this year with nothing but his backpack full of music. It was all surreal and felt like my current life and past lives were merging. Max was one of those people you can only take in small doses so I tried talking to his friend, Constantine from Austria. I told him I was planning to go to the islands and do a juice detox for a week and he started telling me about the silent meditation retreats he’s done, where you don’t talk for 10 days and just meditate. He had me hooked until he got more preachy than informative and I came to learn he’s a healer and does 6 hours of Thai Chi a day, and basically from a whole other world than me. I’d love to be that spiritual and all of it, but it’s just not in the cards for me to be so full-on. As I listened, eyes-wide, nodding, I sucked down a rum and coke in record time and realized this was never going to lead me to inspiration. It was going to lead to a hangover.

So, aside from the passing hippies there were also the quintessential over-stacked motorbikes that I adore. My mom would have a heart attack. My favorite was the person who had their kid behind them on the seat and the dog on the front of that tiny seat made for 1. The dog was just chillin with its paws hanging over the handlebars… hysterical! Then I also saw the other tourist that found a better method of traveling with his suitcase on a motorbike. He sat behind the driver and rolled the suitcase behind the bike. Why didn’t I think if that!? There’s always the babies on bikes too, and helmets don’t exist.

The place I stayed in Pai was magical. Bueng Pai Farm, where I had a quiet bungalow on a fishing pond out in the country. It was so serene and a great recommendation from a friend. I fell asleep to the sounds of fish jumping as I lay under my mozzie net. Heavenly! They had an organic farm and served breakfast - all vegetarian and home-grown. Every day I had a fruit and muesli bowl which was to-die-for and even had popcorn in it (!) and ice shakes. One day was a Lemongrass Iced Tea, another a Mint Ginger Iced Tea. So fresh, so incredible. And the coffee was stellar. They passed the coffee test with flying tie-dyed colors.

While I was there I took a full-day cooking course at Pai Cookery. Having attempted a few times to cook Thai food I was astonished by the small details that make the whole dish. I made red curry paste from scratch, which took no less than 30 minutes of pounding out the garlic, chillis, lemongrass, shallot, coriander, galangal, kefir lime peel, cumin and coriander seeds. We also made Pad Thai, Mixed Vegis, Coconut Milk Soup and Mango Sticky Rice dishes, and ate all them over the course - and they were incredible! I have the recipes but already shipped them home. Anyone who wants them (I’m talking to you Amy!) email me and I’ll send them when I get home. During my cooking class we listened to Backstreet Boys. Backstreet’s back, alright?

A Thai woman named ‘Q’ taught the class and also showed me there are 6 different ways to write her name, each with the smallest variance in sound. It’s no wonder I’ve had such a hard time picking up the basics in Thai language! I’ve got ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ down, despite the fact I’m sure my pronunciation is wrong and I’m butchering this beautiful language to death.

A guy from Holland, Lauzars, was the only other person in my class and since we were both traveling south we have taken the train and bus together. This is mostly because he’s really clingy. Super nice, but I am traveling alone because, well, I like to be alone. Anyway… here on in he will be known as Cling. Cling from Holland.

I also met an Israeli guy (err, little boy really) named Jonathan, who I also bumped into over and over. This was one of the cool things about Pai. After a few days I could walk around and bump into people I’d met and hang out for a bit and then move on. Repeat sightings. Jonathan, aka Yonathan my Israeli little brother pot head, had scored some weed within an hour of being there and went on to make me laugh for hours. Jonny did. Not the weed. Right. Anyway I bumped into him again my last night while I was watching a hippie-esque singer and guitar duo sing Sarah MacLachlan, Norah Jones and other stuff I love. He and I shared a bucket… as in a bucket of liquor, the specialty in Pai, although that was the only one I had AND I couldn’t even get through half. Somewhere in our conversation he actually said, “You remind me of my mom.” More on being the oldest person traveling in Thailand coming soon.

A few weeks earlier Jonny fell off a motorbike and his knee split open and he knee actually popped fully out of the skin. He had to fly back to Israel for surgery and was back traveling, just like that. He is just one of a handful of people I’ve met with motorbike accident stories and yet another reason I am sticking with my two little feet to get around.

The day I left Bueng Pai Farm the lovely managers, Run and Orn, gave me a gift wrapped in a banana leaf. It was a shirt and a little bag, and made me smile ear-to-ear. The warmth I found there was incredible and since I left I still think every day how much I felt at home there.

My last night in Pai as I was walking back to my hostel I was sneaking around feeding all the street dogs some jerky treats I bought earlier in the day. I was a but tipsy from the bucket I shared with Jonny and I was sort of dancing around and loving feeding time. A guy passed me on the street while I was and I straightened up, walked not danced, hid the dog treats (but couldn’t hide my pack of new friends following me), smiled at him and whispered “Don’t tell on me.” His response was, “No, you’re like The Pope!”
I am still laughing at that. Yep, me... just like the Pope. *cough*

From Pai I took a 3-hour bus trip to Chiang Mai where I stayed at an overpriced hotel but on the best little alley there. Overpriced in Thailand is $25 a night, and I had a TV in the room. Sweet! My little alley also had a little raggae bar that was super chill where the owner played a eukaleli and served 50baht ($1.50) yummy mojitos. A few doors down was Thai Thai Restaurant. The first time I went in there the owner/cook, P-Sea (not to be confused with PC, she told me a few hundred times), sat down and talked with me for an hour. She told me the next time I came in I could order anything I wanted and she’d take me in the kitchen and show me how to cook it. And she did! And she let me videotape it (actually she insisted). She could explain all the ingredients except one, which she said she didn’t know if I have in my country. So I took a photo of this ‘Pork Flavoring,’ or in my best guess, MSG. No wonder I was so hooked on this lady’s cooking. “P-Sea,” I said, “Yes, I do think we have this in our country.” I didn’t tell her we don’t cook with it cause it’ll kill ya, though.

P-Sea also hooked me up with a discount for a one-day trek that included riding elephants, trekking, visiting a hill tribe, a bamboo boat ride, and a waterfall visit. I had a really great day because I enjoyed the people in my group. There were 2 doctors from London, a dentist and political student from Germany and a couple from Holland. It’s so beautiful that you can meet people from so far away with such different backgrounds yet share time and jokes seamlessly. So we did that day. Aside from them, I felt very sad. Talk about extreme overexposure. Those poor elephants were chained up and clocked on the head with a stick that had a metal hook on the end of it and I hated every minute of it. It was against my better judgment to go and I should have listened to my instincts. I’ve tried to do some volunteer work on this trip, helping elephants that have been rescued from these situations and I was too late to join the program. I feel shameful for spending money and ’supporting’ - monetarily - the elephant farm. It’s been sitting heavy on my heart ever since.

Back in Chiang Mai I met up with Cling from Holland and we did some shopping at the Chiang Mai night market (great stuff!) and took a night train to Bangkok to start our trip south. We decided to make a party train and brought some beers and Thai rum with us. We were being silly and dancing to cheesy pop music when we decided to go to the other car for a quick cigarette, when we encroached on the REAL Party Train to Bangkok. The dining car was packed with people, smokey and dark but with blinky neon lights and everyone was dancing to some Indian-inspired dance music. We hit the jackpot! After ordering a beer I danced with the older ladies from France that reminded me of my mom and had a perfect night of singing and dancing. Over a week into my trip and this was the first time I had a ‘night out’ of partying and it was surreal. Being bounced back and forth by the train and watching the night sky from the windows, smiling huge and shakin my butt. A memorable and needed night in Thailand.

We arrived in Bangkok right before 8am, just in time for the Thai anthem to be broadcast over the speakers. 2 people tried to stop us and I thought they were trying to sell me something so I barreled through. “Stop, please.” Then I realized this is part of their culture. 8am the anthem is played and everyone stops and salutes until it’s over. So after I finally figured it out I felt like an idiot for my insensitivity and joined in. They thanked me over and over afterward. Oops.

With a day to kill in Bangkok before a night bus south (yes, another night in transit…) we took a long boat on the river and went through some of the canals and got to see some temples, fishing villages and the river culture in general, with people in their little boats selling cokes, red bulls, hats, hand fans, etc. I will never forget one woman who approached us because I think I have never seen anyone as truly, genuinely happy as this woman. And why shouldn’t she be? She wanders around all day on her little boat meeting people and visiting friends on the canals. It makes me realize that life is what you make it. The simplest things can really bring the most joy.

I wish I could have learned more from that woman, because the rest of my day could have been great - spending a day sight-seeing in Bangkok. But I was exhausted, hungover, out of it. I wandered without looking at maps and was lost all day. I saw the inside of 2 cabs which both dropped me where I asked to be, but then I couldn’t find my way from there. I walked all day and by the time I got on the night bus I was cranky and dirty and slept all the way down.

My 6pm bus arrived - somewhere - at 6am. We were at an outdoor café covered from the rain. There we had a 1 ½ hour wait, then took a small van to another place where we waited for another bus… then that took us a couple hours to the ferry. It was Hell. It took forever. By the time we got to the ferry they were holding us because the waters were so rough. The rain was pouring and the wind was kicking. We got on the boat after about 20 minutes and for the next 2 hours we slammed through the high waves and I could only think how lucky I was for having a stable stomach, for once.

I’ve been on Koh Phangan for 2 nights now and it’s been a tropical monsoon the whole time. I am stayed at a place called Haad Son Resort and have finished 1 book and am almost through another. I have a bungalow with a covered porch and hammock. I’ve been lying in the hammock reading, chain-smoking and enjoying the sounds of the rain and wind, and the glistening, dripping tropical plants surrounding me. The food here is amazing and I had the best Thai fried Red Snapped with chili sauce in the world. The grounds are beautiful and there’s a great beach bar - with swings, hammocks, torches, overgrown palm tree shade, huts. I just wish the weather was nice enough to enjoy it! Today I am heading to The Santuary, to clean out my tar-stained lungs and exhausted liver, doing a 7-day detox cleanse and lots of yoga.

Sitting here today thinking... this is the calmest, happiest and whole I’ve ever been. What’s next?

Ode to My Mom's Piece of Mind

2011-03-18T20:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom,

I have to tell you 2 of the funniest stories before I forget!

Yesterday when I was in Bangkok waiting for my train I got a knot in my stomach and realized I had to poo. I ran to the bathroom and realized I had to pay to use it. No problem, I pulled out some money (it was only pennies) and got in the cue. The line meant nothing and in order to get to the stall I needed to push my way there. By now I was sort of desperate, if you know what I mean, and started pushing my way. I was so relieved to get in the stall until I remembered where I was and that things are very different here. There wasn't a toilet but rather a porcelain hole with tracks on the side so your feet don't slip. Not ideal, but okay... when you gotta go you gotta go. After squatting and doing my business I realized bathrooms here don't have toilet paper either. They have a little squirt nozzle, like the one we used to have in the kitchen sink. Reminded me of home! Except I never poo'd in your sink. So, I removed it and squirt my butt, leaving the stall not knowing if I got it clean or dry enough to not have a wet spot on my bum. Good thing I was only getting a sleeper train and in those clothes for the next 15 hours.

Speaking of the sleeper train, it was remarkably clean and comfortable. My only issue was that I woke myself up from a roaring snore due to my dust mite allergies kicking in. In the morning I heard the guy next to me telling his girlfriend he couldn't sleep because the woman next to him (ahem, me) was roaring snoring. Oops.

Did I tell you I'm the only person traveling with a suitcase? Today it became a bit of an issue when I got into Pai and learned the taxis are motorbikes. You would have laughed if you'd seen me on the back of this motorbike... I had a huge backpack on and the driver had my suitcase between his legs. Luckily the 3km ride wasn't too bad. The roads were at least paved, even if they were hilly and covered in pot holes.

Last night I stayed in town until 10pm and decided to walk back to my country house alone instead of finding a taxi/motorbike/tuk-tuk. The countryside in Thailand is so desolate and beautiful. At one point a pack of dogs blocked my way barking but eventually let me pass. Other than that I enjoyed my night walk under the moon and stars in this foreign, far-away place.

Having a great time! See, I told you there was nothing to worry about!

Love, Me

Singha and Cigarettes

2011-03-18T00:26:00.000-07:00

Hello from Bangkok, Thailand… the creepiest city I’ve ever been to. I arrived after midnight 2 nights ago and had a pre-booked hotel that I chose based on the Lonely Planet guide. They recommended the area I stayed in since it was one of the closest to the airport, even if is was some 35km away. The neighborhood is called Sukhumvit, or in English: Hookerville.

The hotel itself was fine and there were a lot of upscale hotels there, but it was the things people that lined the streets that made me uncomfortable and gave me severe anxiety. This neighborhood had small alley-like roads lined with vacant construction sites, 7-11s and massage parlors, and flooded with tuk-tuks, taxis, cars, bikes, people, dogs, cats… you name it. I don’t mind playing Frogger and coming from NY the traffic doesn’t really phase me. So I will focus on the other parts.

The main road was lined with shopping booths jammed into every inch selling random (cool) things, like light-weight comfy pants, t-shirts, thai god statues, fruit (coconuts with a straw - love!), hand-carved wooden dildos (really.), etc. And between the booths are some of the most beautiful young women dressed in the highest heels and shortest skirts. Around them I was invisible but the old white men were not. Let’s just saw the term ‘street meat’ took on a whole new meaning for me.

A handful of friends gave me tons of recommendations before I got here and one was to eat the street food. So I hunted down some street food and realized a English-speaking vegetarian with high food preparation standards is in for serious trouble if I’m going to venture to street food land. After my first attempt was made with (mystery) meat (that had been pre-cut and piled in plastic shopping bags sitting in the sun) a nice young Thai person helped me explain I wanted only vegis. The food lady had no problem with that and was more than happy to not clean the wok or use a different prep plate and make me vegi fried rice. Sweet.

While I was waiting for my rice this beautiful Asian woman dressed in high heels and a tight dress walked up to the booth and told her gorgeous daughter to say hi to the food lady. I couldn’t believe the eyes that were sunken into this stunning woman’s face. To say they were red and bloodshot would be quite an understatement. They looked more like they had been removed from her face, scrubbed with a brillo pad, and replaced. I’ve seen a fair share of people drugged up and this even shocked me. I think the most surprising part was that other than her eyes, she was perfect. Her hair was done perfectly and she had lovely posture. It was just… sad.

Okay so for the rest… I made a list of things that made an impression on me. Here’s that list:
- Massages. Everywhere, and CHEAP! I got a 1 ½ hour Thai Massage - probably the best I ever had - and it cost me about $12. Then later, when I was too nervous to go anywhere else, I got a 1 hour foot reflexology massage that cost about $10. Both in the same day. That’s how I roll.
a. Oil massages. Usually only about $3 more than a regular massage and are offered everywhere. They include a happy ending. I still haven’t figured out if it’s just for men, but I’m not about to try to find out.
- Old white men with gorgeous, young Thai girlfriends everywhere. Hey, I guess if I was a lonely old man I’d pay for it too. A week with one of these sweet little ladies has to be less than what they spent on meds each week.
- Very scared skinny dogs. There are more cats than dogs but the dogs all look horrified. I tried to buy dog treats but apparently they don’t sell them here. I walked down a street and found 2 dogs seemingly attached at the ass, under the tail. Like seriously attached. They moved together, together. I was seriously wondering if they were trying to protect their butts from the horny old white men.
- 7-11s are on every block and I can’t understand what any of the snack food is. All the labels are in Thai and have little cartoons on them. Where US 7-11s have gum on the counter, Thai 7-11s have KY Jelly.
- The only way I was able to settle down and calm my anxiety was Singha and cigarettes. I plan to use this tried and true method when necessary. Actually a Long Island Iced Tea (of all things - yes - I really did order that in Thailand) and a cigarette also worked, so I will keep that approach as back-up.
- English… not widely spoken! I know that shouldn’t be a surprise but I really just thought that since it’s such an international, large city it would be spoken more. Wrong. Oh, and signs in Thai are impossible to read if you don’t know Thai. Again, I should have expected it but I didn’t. As the only western woman on one of the alleys I was walking down a frustrated woman ran up to me and asked me, “Do you speak Australian?” I was very proud to be American at that moment.
- Speaking of Americans, why do so many older Americans travel to foreign countries wearing the American flag or camouflage on their shirts and belly bags? I just don’t understand it.
- The first person I spoke to when I arrived was my cab driver, who tried so hard to speak English to me but I couldn’t understand much. I did understand when he told me some of the streets were flooded. He said, “You know flood?” I told him I did. Then he said, “What the flood?” and laughed for the rest of the trip repeating it over and over. What the flood?

After a good sleep (thanks to that LIIT) I checked out today and got lost in Chinatown and I LOVED it. I’ve been in Chinatown in NY and SF yet this one was super exciting for me. The streets were also filled with speeding cars and tuk-tuks and lined with little shops and and street food but here it was much safer and more pleasant (I.e., no hookers. Visible). Chinatown is a maze of little streets with stores that sell shoes, DVDs, stickers, purses, hair bows, gold-plated coffins, gold necklaces, giant bags of mushrooms and rice and Chinese food.

After a day getting lost in Chinatown I’m sitting in the train station waiting for my overnight train to Chang Mai. I had some time to kill so I got a $5 1-hour foot massage and a $2 Pad Thai. I have the softest feet in Bangkok.

2011-02-07T20:05:00.001-08:00

February 8, 2011

It is absolutely impossible to paint the picture of what I see and where I am at the moment. I am in a pretty blue and green striped hammock in the shade with tiny pieces of warm sun poking through the surrounding plant life and hitting me softly, on the face. On an arm. There is a lovely warm breeze that fevers up the treetops so they craft a beautiful symphony - combined with the cacatas cherps - of openness, nature, peacefulness, joy and hope. I am in Hopewell, which is on a pretty desolate coast along one the hundreds of little sounds and waterways that make up the Marlborough Sound on the northern part of the South Island of New Zealand. Are you keeping up??

I am overlooking calm turquoise waters that look only like the waters I’ve seen in the Virgin Islands. But the rest of my view looks worlds away from the Caribbean. As it is.

Luscious mountains surround me as far as I can see in every direction beyond the sound. Only a few homes sit on these hills and the rest is untouched exquisiteness. I can see a boat that’s been brought onto land but that is really the only sign of human life anywhere. There are luminous birdsongs and one lone seagull suspended in the light winds at the shoreline.

Inside my little hammock I am on my laptop (!) (SHAME!) and enjoying a glass of New Zealand Pinot which tastes lovely, as the lightness and delicateness of the wine perfectly fit in with my surroundings. I am reflecting on the kayaking we did this morning on these lovely waters.

This is a stark contrast from last night. After taking a 3-hour windy ferry from Wellington (on the southern tip of the north island) to the south island we drove into the sounds to a basic campsite which offered a flat place to sleep right on the waters and a picnic table. The rest we had to wing, which would have been much easier if it didn’t start downpouring right after we erected the tent in the early afternoon. Being the master campers we are we were perfectly protected from the cyclone surrounding us in Dean’s huge rain-proof, yet incredibly well-ventilated, tent. From what I could tell the well-ventilated part was a huge selling point for him, so I’ve got to give a shout-out to the ventilation. Woop woop!

We went to sleep pretty early, as we have been so far each night, and also woke up before 7... AS WE HAVE BEEN. This is nonsensical for me because I love to sleep late. But even on Sunday I woke at 6 and went for a jog to watch the sunrise. What the hell is that all about!?

Speaking of, Saturday we were in Rotorua (N Island) and went to a great festival, Raggae-muffin. The raggae was really good and while we grooved I sat in slight culture-shock (really culture-adjustment that overwhelmed my thoughts). It was mostly early-20s Mauris (Mauris are the ‘Indians’ of New Zealand and in Rotorua 35% of the population). They look Hawaiian a bit. They are beautiful and dark-skinned with beautiful features. The women have really big bellies. The men seem much skinnier and toned than the women. Another score for me. ;)
There we stayed in a hostel that was noisy all night and reminded me I’m old.

I am traveling with a very handsome Dean who I met in Barcelona through my friend Richard in October. We don’t know each other well and I swear if you bumped into us here, in this blue-green water-surrounded heaven, you’d never know we were nearly strangers. Traveling with anyone is a bit scary, and traveling with someone you just got a good vibe from can range from really fun to suicidal. Luckily we are floating on the really fun side and we are enjoying the easiness of being remote with nothing scheduled… no where to be, no one to see, nothing to do… our only task is to enjoy every moment and every piece of this earth we are exploring, and to laugh, respect, and relax. And for that, I am so grateful. And putting away the technology.

Peace xo

2011-02-07T20:04:00.003-08:00

January 17, 2011

I’m sitting on a Lufthansa flight from Orlando to Frankfurt, and then BCN. 2 glasses of wine and a xanax in and my heart is still aching. I had a great time with my parents, spending a month in Hernando with them, living in their rental house with my puppy and kitty. My heart breaks leaving all of them. Although I didn’t grow up there, it is my ‘home’ in the states now, and after this month it really does feel like home. Waking up, walking the dog, then stopping in to see my parents and have a coffee. Then going back to my place and going for a hike with the dog. Then going home, cooking something super healthy and fresh. Then heading to the rents for happy hour, which sometimes starts at 3. I guess this is what life is like when you’re retired. Unfortunately my mid-life crisis and pseudo retirement is ending soon since I don’t have the savings to do this forever. But I do have a lot to look forward to and now I know. Doing yoga overlooking the slowly flowing lake, with birds bobbing for food while the dog looks ridiculously confused at me and then gently sniffs and licks me while I’m trying to meditate. It really is a little piece of heaven.

Tomorrow I will be in a new apartment I’ve never seen in a new neighborhood of Barcelona. I love change. Today my feelings are bittersweet. I am pained but what I am leaving. I am a little nervous about living in a new place. I’m also pretty excited about learning about a new hood and meeting new people. It feels good to feel. I feel loved and blessed at the moment. My heart is intact. The next few months bring more travel and adventure, and hopefully love and not heartbreak. To be continued.

my last night in barcelona. for now.

2010-12-15T16:34:00.000-08:00

it's fuckingbullshit. i am weeping like a little girl and pouting my lower lip out like it's been hit with a baseball. nothing feels sweet and buttterfly-like. it feels sad and scary because of the genuine comfort i feel in life RIGHT..NOW. it feels like the end of a play, when everyone hugs and does a full-crew curtsy for the crowd. it's astounding to look around at these people you've spent difficult and funny times with. people you started to get *at the core*, and people you let yourself just be YOU (ME) with. and the reality is, this is the end of this play. all the characters have learned their places and found a place to be comfortable and totally crazy and expressive. we know how we interact with each others' characters. we have certain ones where we have an unspoken relationship with and secretly look after, love, flirt, adore. we have others who we are used to standing in the same room with for hours each week, yet know nothing of them... or don't fucking care... and each piece is essential to the machine running properly. the dynamic on a macro level is perfection and ridiculously beautiful.

i had a series of love-at-first-sight moments here, with more people i've allowed in in a really long time. for the first time in a long time i feel surrounded by a family, a crew, and i am scared to leave it even for a day because i never want to lose what i've found here. in one year i have seen the very opposite ends of life. i've felt life-threatening despair. i found wholeness and openness. i have let my fear drive me to closeness and surrender to the intimacy and ongoing adjustments you have to succumb to in order to have tranquility flowing melodically. that would be seriously scary perfection if you get all that to jive constantly and in unison. i'm proud i've just swam in the waters.

it's insane that so much happiness can bring forward such a sadness. i guess i've actually found 'home.' for years i've been looking for a place to want to root down. i have definitely, completely found it in barcelona. i have a long way before coming back and finding my next HOME, and rekindling my friendships i've gone without for months (um, ok, a shot a jaeger and we'll be half way there... ;) ).

i also have a chest full of love for my new venezuelan brothers. i haven't shared an apt with people in a long time, and these boys had their moments... but when i think of them i think of all those evenings on the beach, singing and laughing, and always knowing they would take care of me first and foremost. i found myself somewhere between a girlfriend/sister/mom figure with them, and they let me in... even when i convinced them to change the wall color, furniture and lighting. they helped me with everything. they loved me from the moment i arrived. i don't ever expect to find a roommate situation like this again. and this is just another reason i sit here so melancholy tonight. ((poor me)) ((sorrrrrrry))

The Beatles
Lennon/McCartney

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.

There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you
in time - It's easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.

2010-12-07T15:19:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. For some reason this always is the most depressing and lonely day of the year, without fail. I am ALWAYS proven a total ass for these feelings, but the day before my bday I wonder who, or if, anyone really loves me. It's really very narcissistic I think. Last year I remember sending people bday messages on Facebook in the weeks before my birthday, thinking and hoping they would in turn remember me on my day. It's so stupid and crazy!!!! That is retarded!!! It reminds me of the Xmas card dilemma I've always watched my mom get cockamamie (that’s a mom word and I love it!) about: Well I wasn't going to send THEM a card because 2 years ago they didn't send US one but 2 days before Xmas I get THEIR card, so I HAVE to get one back to them today....

Part of the difficulty with constantly moving around is that I also constantly feel farther away from people I've fallen deeply in love with... and I've lived in so many cool places and befriended a ridiculously brilliant and dazzling group of friends... how can I not feel lonely without them!?

I do hope I am remembered tomorrow but I am taking this brilliant opportunity today to sit back and watch as the clock ticks closer and closer to midnight, when my bday starts, and allow the deepest gratitude to enter my heart. I have the most incredible family. My parents, brother and Dez and Alyssa and Tesa are all hysterical and entertaining and loving. They will always tell me what they think, and it’s usually worlds away from what I think, but I love them for caring enough to do that. And for loving me when I take my own path anyway. :)

My SF friends feel farther and farther away these days, yet I am living a lifestyle many of them did during the time I knew them, and now I *get* it. My SF friends made me easy-going and excited about life. They gave me the tools to love on a deep level and divulge my deepest secrets, knowing it will pull them closer if I do so. Not all friends can offer this. Shit, most can’t. The SFers are still the most creative, friendly, gratifying, effortless, lovely, eccentric, blissful people I know. When I lived there lots of them were enjoying the dot-com bust and living the unemployed (or funemployed, really) lifestyle while I marched with the ants day after day. They would tell me about how they really learned to enjoy life while they were unemployed. They did things they never had time for before, they sat in coffee shops in the middle of the day and read, they stayed out all night dancing, they wandered our lovely city aimlessly. At the time my corporate-fueled mind thought it was all so pointless. And now I am reminded what a young soul I am. Patience, young Grasshopper.

My Seattle friends have all moved to SF for the most part, and while I saw that coming it makes my thoughts of Seattle slightly vacant feeling. The most extraordinary people I’ve ever met took me in as a favor to a friend I met once. The arms of like 30 people opened wide, gathered me and surrounded me and made me part of the soup. We lived together, created mind-blowing shit together, cuddled together, partied together, questioned and explored shit together, laughed a LOT together, gussied up in awesome costumes and shook our little asses till sunrise. Now they all have babies. And there are us few stragglers watching the coolest people on earth raise the coolest little kids on earth.

My NY friends are only a handful, but they are immensely compassionate and intimate, and they were my allies during a very dark time for me. Today I wish I had been able to enjoy life more when I lived in NY so I could have spent more time loving my friends there. They truly loved me despite my constant efforts to push them all away.

Here in Barcelona I have a place I can go where everyone knows my name.

Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.

Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
And they're always glad you came;
You want to be where you can see,
Our troubles are all the same;
You want to be where everybody knows your name.

It’s 12:13. Feliz Cumpleanos, conmigo. Life has been good to me!

2010-11-24T14:19:00.000-08:00

Today was one of the most difficult days I've had in months. I sat in my Spanish class with a coffee in me and ready to participate and get in action. But when I sat down I felt like a blank page. I watched each of my classmates in our horseshoe of those student desks, with the chair attached to the desk, and for some reason couldn't understand anything around me. And what's worse was that all the other people in the class were speaking conversationally and putting sentences and grammar together (like they should be after taking a couple months of classes). And I couldn't put together a basic sentence.

I put giant, blinding walls around me but I could still see my body language from the others' perspective... I felt and looked so embarrassed, frustrated, angry, stupid and mortified. I was unconsciously pulling in my limbs and muscles, trying to be like a little beetle playing dead.

I rode the subway to the other side of the city and then home. I thought about how if no one spoke in this subway, you could forget you're surrounded by people you can't actually communicate with (verbally). City people in every city have a common thread. It may be in the clothes or the attitude or the dynamics. I am reminded... we are One World. I need to remind myself that I am trying to bring myself closer to the rest of the world and it's fucking hard. But I am here, and I am trying. And today was shitty.

On a last note, tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the US. I have a huge meal prepared for my friends here and want to share with them the warmth you have during this holiday in the states. I am looking forward to waking up tomorrow and seeing this world through lenses that highlight generosity, love, friendship and all the incredible things I've seen and done this year. WHAT. A. YEAR!!!

I never stopped writing...

2010-10-14T14:45:00.001-07:00

... I just stopped sharing. Sorry!

October 14.

It was no mistake that I came across “Eat, Love, Pray” when I did, and I believe it was the works of the universe that brought the book to me. Twice. After reading it the first time I opened a part of my mind I needed exposed in the worst way. A part that would enable me to leave Jeff despite the ‘perfect life’ I thought I wanted and created. A year later I would learn I could more literally run away, and it would be in search of the life I never thought I could have - but had to find. It is months later that I am learning again from it… that running was the easy part. Forgiving myself for it was harder. Yet, forgiveness turns out to be easier than expected, and has lead me to a new place I have yet recovered from. The ability to attach again. Whether it be because I am scared or, well, scared… I guess I know the truthfulness that is today.

The past years were a culmination of everything I had always worked towards. Or so I thought. Like Liz in the book, I worked hard for the perfect life. I thought I wanted to spend my weekends in Home Depot. I had the home, the nice guy, the dog and cat. We spent our weekends in, cooking, relaxing together. I guess a part of me really did want that. But there is so much more that I wanted, that I felt was lost or never achievable. It was like if I had all these things I was supposed to have, I wouldn’t care to think about everything else that was out there. The beautiful places I had never been. The lives I’d never live. They all seemed so romantic in thought. But wasn’t what I had romantic? Wasn’t it the life I always wanted?

No. Simply, no. It’s taken years for me to come to terms with that and I still struggle every day trying to find that balance. The balance of the romance and love with the self-exploration and constant reservations I have about living a life under other people’s terms. The balance. It’s so hard to find.

I saw the movie today. I sat alone in a theater in Barcelona. I never once felt a sorrow for being alone, or a yearning to have company. That feels really fucking good.

I cried a lot watching the movie. I did out-loud when I wanted to. Maybe it’s because I could relate so much to what I was watching, and so much more-so than I even realized. I think a large part of my subconscious paid close attention to the book, in a deep far-away place internally, and it drove me to make a lot of the decisions I have made. Just as I am a marketer’s dream, I guess I am also a dreamer’s apprentice.

In the book/movie this woman moves to Italy knowing shit Italian and finds herself alone, yet less lonesome than she’d felt in years. She opens herself to new friends. New realities, like living in a home with cracking walls and old ceilings that are being upheld and supported by the smallest - and most exposed - protection. In just writing that I find a lot of irony in that. My home was always sturdy. This never mirrored my connection to my soul. In fact my soul was sitting on thin steel beams, and one small fracture would bring the whole house down.

But it didn’t. And somehow finding myself in places where the walls are thin, or sometimes even destroyed, my soul found a solitude. Staggering. Extraordinarily, genuinely, staggering.

Sitting here today I adore each day. I wake in a different place and walk the streets, stunned by the beautiful architecture that surrounds me. I meet new people who I learn from every day, even if - or especially if - it’s over a pint of beer next door to my flat. I see the world through more innocent eyes, eyes that have seen sorrow and have been revitalized.

What I’ve learned today is to continue ‘running.’ With each step I am finding another piece of myself I thought were only that of another romantic dreamer. I am so grateful. I am so fucking grateful.

2010-07-21T18:08:00.000-07:00

Barcelona is being so good to me. At the beginning of the month I had 4 days here solo. I met a bunch of great people who were so nice to me and took me out for some crazy fun nights. Then the beautiful Americans rushed in. Enter Amy, Matt and Michelle. I'm staying in a 2-bedroom flat which was perfect to house all of us. We prepped and headed out to No Where, the Spanish Burningman. We met Shannon and Brian - my friends from Seattle who I burn with - and then made our camp a home. They came up in a caravana and built a rockin shade structure and costume closet and did all the food shopping. The next few days we pigged out on their awesome prepared foods and bbq'd and danced around in costumes - or, errr, naked - and celebrated life a la Burningman. I thought I'd meet a ton of people from Barcelona but I think I met one. Most of the people there were from other European countries - England and Germany mostly from my perspective. While Burningman is 30-40,000 people this was about 500. It was CUTE. I met a lot of people who I was able to see again and again day after day - something that's just not possible at Bman. It was HOT. I'm talking 110 degrees plus every day with high humidity. As a veteran burner I am embarrassed to admit I got heatstroke and had a full day sick and trying to rehydrate. We all did so some extent. There was a creek close-by and that was a miracle. I don't do shared water but after Africa my views have softened on that type of thing and spending an afternoon in the creek was a hell of a lot better than sitting, roasting in the heat.

Fast forward, back in BCN, I lost Michelle to the states 2 days after we returned. 2 days later, we lost Matt. Amy's been with me the past week and will be here another, and it's great spending so much time with her. After not living in SF for 5 years I haven't had a lot of time to be with her day after day. I feel so lucky to have her here. This week I realized I need to get serious about finding a flat for the next few months and Amy jumped online, posted ads, answered them, made appointments, and today - we scored me a flat!!

I'll be living a block from Segrada Familia which I think is considered the neighborhood Gracia. It was really funny because we saw this place first today. There are 2 brothers who are spanish that live there. They are the cleanest men I've ever met and were offering me everything... they'd move out of the biggest room if I wanted it... they'd give me an extra shelf in the fridge if I needed it... they'd let me have the extra 1/2 bath if I prefer... I know it may sound like it could be sketchy but they are seriously the nicest most laid-back people ever. After seeing that apartment I went to a very SF-like renovated warehouse that couldn't have been farther from the opposite of option 1. Here lived a British Dj/promoter/artist. The warehouse space was funky and cluttered and built piece by piece. A make-shift loft here, a plywood table, awesome spraypainted/graffiti 'art'. To get to my room you'd walk out the back door to the backyeard and walk up stairs to a loft-like huge room. The floor was slanted about 15 degrees to one side but it was big! But to go to the bathroom I'd have to go outside, down the stairs and back inside. And the bathtub was hidden by this door that would pull out - like a secret door - and expand into an L shape to hide the tub. With no lighting, but the ceilings were high enough you got light from the rest of the place. And they had a dog that looked so much like Sadie. The decision between what was literally black and white was tough. Party Suzi really wanted to live in the artist space. Good Girl Suzi kept thinking how nice and clean option 1 was, despite being a bit boring.

Good Girl Suzi took over and I know I made the right decision. It was an interesting battle internally though. I was literally at a crossroad, looking down two very different paths. But I decided to go with what was more challenging (funny as that sounds). Live with people who will only talk Spanish to me, who will watch over me and be sweet. So I waived Adios to the party side. I feel like I made a very adult decision. A reason to celebrate! ;)

The truth is, I needed to take this path. When I was depressed and suffering having to go to work every day I thought that what I really needed was to live without responsibilities. To have time to do nothing, because then I'd have time to do the more important things. But what have I been doing? Sleeping late. Getting up and having a big meal. Walking around. Maybe sleeping more. Drinking. Eating. Repeat. I would have never thought I'd say this, but it's getting a bit boring. I need more structure and routine. I need a yoga class I can go to every day - desperately. I need some sort of responsibility. I need something to get me up in the morning. This is the relaxation I was needing but I'm right on the edge of sheer lazy. Life anywhere - even in Spain - without meaning is just meaningless. I think it's a good thing I feel this way. My closeted ambition is kicking me in the ass and reminding me every day that I need more in life to tick.

So next month is a new start. I don't regret this month of gluttony. Having friends visiting is awesome and I just couldn't try to focus on anything but them while they've been here. So I will drink my wine at lunch. I will eat my dinner at midnight and proceed to drink more. I will sleep in and when I wake I will lazily roam the streets of Barcelona, grateful that I have mi amigos aqui. And soon a new adventure will start. I will actually learn to communicate here. I will take care of my body again. I will find ways to give to the community. It's in me. It's just on hold. And for now, it's magic. :)

2010-07-02T16:16:00.000-07:00

July 2, 2010

I smell like a gorilla. Joking but only sort of. My scent has changed since living in Africa and I can only relate it to that of gorilla.

BUT I am in Barcelona now and ridiculously contento! My flat is in the middle of El Borne with everything at my doorstep. The woman renting me her place has been amazing and has took me all over the hood showing me where I can find everything I need. MARIA is fucking crazy amazing. She's introduced me to her friends who are welcoming and funny and warm and incredible. I keep worrying I may have a heart attack because my heart is so powerfully beating and open. A deep breath, a smile. So muy contento.

2010-06-29T15:14:00.000-07:00

June 29, 2010

Today my feat was not feeling ill after any meal. it's been at least a week since i could say that.

my week in kenya was so magical and yet i am consumed with my memories of feeling so sick. i don't even think i can conjure up the many thoughts i had, which is disappointing because the wildlife and good company was unsurpassed. 16 lions - 13 cubs with 3 moms. if i could only find the words to explain how my heart was full...

i was cared for by my guide and the people at the camp in ways i don't even know. in and out of sleep i'd find a plate of food with someone encouraging me to eat. i'd have a few bites, fall back into deep sleep, be awoken with a plate of fruit and a friend asking questions and trying to translate the mumbles and hand gestures coming from my sad pile of blankets and pillows. i understand how people die from malaria. or whatever parasite that was. it was the first time in years i couldn't help myself even if i wanted to and when i stood up i was lighter than myself, sort of floating in a blur. i felt closer to being an angel than i did a human. or a soul, is what i should say. my soul was who i was. i was lucky not to fall over because my legs were soft and i was disorientated.

my days since have brought me to amsterdam where i am staying in a luxury room booked on points. the first thing i did was take a hot bubble bath and i slept about 28 hours last night. outside of that - i'm in amsterdam... life is ridiculously perfect. wake, walk around, love the little canals and people on bikes, walk, people watch, cobblestones under foot, sit outside of a small cafe and have a mineral water, watch, walk again, observe the many bikes that go by and the interesting people on top of them, pop into coffee shop, chill and be chatted up by young stoner boys and rastas, walk. sit outside, eat thai food. walk. stop and have a heineken. read. walk. repeat. i have 3 days to do this and can't be happier. so many tiny little alleys and canals to cover - HEAVEN.

Today I weighed myself three times. The first time put me 10 pounds under what I was in Uganda. The second, 7 under. The third, 5 under. My body perception has been one of the more interesting things for me on this trip. For over a month I didn't have a full-length mirror and only looked in a tiny compact mirror once every couple days. I have never felt as confident as I did those days. I was active and in the sun and nature and felt I shed pounds, had been blessed with good hair all of a sudden and looked fit. I've had a difficult few years and haven't felt fit or thin in a very long time. In fact I have been stupid critical during this time. But I feel different. I feel fit, good.

Funny enough when I had my first look in a mirror after over a month I looked like I did the last time I saw myself, and not the little twig I was making myself in mind. Not the perfectly messy 'do' I expected. I was the same Suzi I was months ago.

I've learned from this. What a fucking lesson. When you know how critical you are of yourself, can you change it? The view comes through your eyes, not a mirror, doesn't it?

My last note has to address the sunset. As I've been on the equator for a month I am conditioned to expect the sun to set at 6 or 7. The sun in Amsterdam during the summer sets around 11. It took me a day and a lot of confusion to figure this out. Viva LIGHT!

Malaria

2010-06-29T11:32:00.000-07:00

If I could define malaria it would go something like this.

Malaria, n. (fucker): a demon that is inserted into your veins by an evil mosquito. Said demon will take over for a full 7-hour night and eject every drop of liquid and solid possible out of your body, leaving you shaking, dizzy and sweating.

Synonyms: beastly, calamitous, corrupt, damnable, depraved, destructive, disastrous, execrable, flagitious, foul, harmful, hateful, heinous, hideous, iniquitous, injurious, loathsome, low, maleficent, malevolent, malicious, malignant, nefarious, no good, obscene, offensive, pernicious, poison, rancorous, reprobate, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, spiteful, stinking, ugly, unpleasant, unpropitious, vicious, vile, villainous, wicked, wrathful, wrong

i threw up over 25 times my bad night. quite honestly i don't believe it was malaria. i think it was a parasite but not malaria. but i spent 5 hours on a table in the clinic getting pumped fluids and meds intravenously and the doctor there said so. i have been disagreeing for days but in any case it totally sucked. my waistline is happier.

2010-06-27T08:56:00.001-07:00

June 21, 2010

“When you leave make sure you lock the tent because there are monkeys and they will come in.” This was what I was told when I arrived here today in Amboseli, Kenya. I flew out of Kampala at 5 this morning and was scooped up at the airport (by a tour guide waiting at baggage claim holding my name… I love that, it makes me feel important…) and driven southeast of Nairobi about 3 hours, again in a safari van that felt every bump on the sometimes paved/most of the time not/corrugated gravel roads. Nairobi is much more developed than Kampala was and there were some stretches of the road that were actually like US-standard roads - the first I’ve seen in East Africa.

My last days in Kampala went too quickly. As the end grew nearer the guys in the house started asking when I’d be back. Besides Justin there are 2 men - Anthon and Michael - who work as staff and guard the home, clean and make dinner. And then Brian was there a lot too. I felt really sad leaving them. They started to feel like family to me. Brian with his crazy outbursts of energy and dancing, Anthon with his respectful and shy presence always checking on me, Michael with his huge smile and cute laugh, and Justin, my fellow former San Franciscan, changing the world and hunting for a good woman. They kept me entertained and safe. I grew to love them.

Michael came to Kampala with Justin 2 years ago. Prior to that he was his security at his home in Mbale. He is going to vocational school for auto-mechanics and studies harder than ever saw any American. He is born and raised in Uganda - in Mbale I think. He shared a lot of stories with me, and there’s one that is now imprinted in my memory.

To understand this I must mention that crime in Uganda is very low, and this is mostly because even petty crime is not tolerated. For example, if you steal anything - a bottle of soda, a pack of gum even - they can kill you for it. And they will!

Michael told me about a guy in Mbale who stole a bora bora (taxi motorbike). They chased him down and beat him up. Then they tied his arms behind him and forced him to drink gasoline. When they were done they poured the rest over him and set him on fire. He said this laughing. He’s seen this with his own eyes, more than once. That still disturbs me so much, this image. It’s no surprise crime remains low.

There are a lot of things, besides the boys, that I will miss about Uganda . Here are some, in no particular order:
... Power outages. We had them a few times a week and would light all the candles in the house and proceed as if nothing changed. I adore living by candlelight and seriously think I could live that way forever as long as I could have 1 outlet to charge my ipod and laptop.
... Bare feet. I personally like flip-flops but there is something about people walking on the roads barefoot that feels so primitive and natural.
... Sleeping under a mosquito net. You have to put the net down every night to refuse the mosquitoes (aka ’Mozzies,’ my personal favorite nickname) their favorite amusement, buzzing in your ears while you sleep. It also protects you from Malaria. I quite like being in my little netted cocoon. It reminds me of being little and making forts with couch cushions and blankets.
... Roosters. There were 2 of these fuckers living on each side of my bed, it seemed. Every morning they’d rooster back and forth as soon as the sun started coming up. Despite my ‘no killing animals’ rule I seriously thought about killing those fuckers. Funny enough, by my last week there, I grew to like the sound and be able to sleep despite them.
... BAAAAAAA. There was a sheep right outside our gate that sounded literally like one of my friends playing a joke on me and very poorly imitating a sheer and yelling BAAAAAA.. I think I laughed every time I heard it, which was maybe up to 50 times a day.
... Walking through the shower to get to the toilet. So was the setup in my house. You’d open the bathroom door and to your right would be a showerhead and knobs, directly in front was a shower curtain, and behind the curtain a toilet.
... In-home full-body massage: $10 (no happy ending, thankyouverymuch), includes story about how massage therapist's dad was a successful businessman and had 32 wives.
... Peeing in a hole. Public bathrooms outside of the nice restaurants and bars have just a hole in the floor. It turns out I am a master shooter.
... Potholes. I will miss the absurdity and continuous bumps that were part of every car ride.
... Waiving, smiling kids. Although at times I felt a “Miss America Complex,” one of my favorite things was running in my neighborhood past the many, many little kids who would see me and run towards the road, smiling big and waving, yelling “Mozungu!!!!” During my 30 minute runs I think I’d smile and wave to a group of children at least 50 times. I’d wonder who the hell I think I am running through their neighborhood, smiling and waving like I was my own little parade. Hence, Miss America. But their smiles were so big and genuine that I didn’t care if I looked like I should be in a prom gown in the back of a convertible. I smiled big and waved and carried on, each little group of kid making me even more content.
... Cows and goats. I really like living in harmony with the free-range farm animals that sit in the middle of the road and just stare at you when you want to get by.

And so tonight I am out of Uganda, out of the city, and laying a bed in candlelight, under my mozzie net, surrounded my a canvas tent and beyond that a symphony of crickets listening to some jackals cackles that sound very close, in Kenya. It feels great to be out in the wilderness again and breathing such fresh air.

2010-06-14T09:58:00.001-07:00

June 14, 2010

Where to start? So much has been going on. I’ve just returned from a 5-day safari trip to western Uganda. We went to track the mountain gorillas, of which there are only around 700 left. They are in Bwindi National Park, about 7 hours from Kampala. We had a great tour guide - Dominic - who drove us and set everything up for us… which was really important because driving ourselves there would have been painful. Uganda roads suck. I thought it was just Kampala but it really appears to be the whole country. Despite Bwindi being one of the biggest tourist attractions in Uganda the road to get there is a dirt road that seems to never be maintained, so there are huge holes and washed away areas. You have to have a 4-wheel drive to get through it and it’s seriously like backroading. I think I got whiplash. This lasted HOURS!

We had a group of 8 to go track the gorillas. The professional trackers go out an hour before we’re set to leave and go to the area the gorillas were yesterday, then follow tracks and flattened bush to follow the direction they moved since the day before. They only move about 1km a day so it’s not hard to find them. Then the radio the GPS to us and we head in. The most strenuous circumstance - and yet my favorite part of it - is that we are not following a blazed path. We are trekking through the think rainforest and having to blaze our own trail. This meant a lot of falling and trees whipping us in the face and climbing steep terrain.

Man was it worth it. We were within 15 feet of the gorillas and they were HUGE!! They didn’t even pay attention to us but they knew we were right there. There is a part of me that feels awkward about stalking and gawking them in their natural habitat when they seem incredibly used to it. I realize the fees they get for guiding these treks are used to protect the existing population and conserve the environment and protection of the animals, but no wild animal should feel that comfortable in a human’s presence unless they are specifically being used for research purposes. What if a poacher treks in? They wouldn’t even run. Anyway, I am torn about the availability of these gorillas despite enjoying their brilliance. To look at their facial expressions, hands, feet, habits - they are so close to ours. I love science. It seriously bewilders me to think there’s still a question in anyone’s mind around the history of evolution.

In all we saw 5 or 6 mountain gorillas, 2 of them being babies and 1 a silverback (the dominant male, called silverback for the grey/silver hairs it develops as an adult male on its back). We watched a female try to climb a tree where one of the non-dominant males was, and the dominant silverback came running over grunting, basically saying no - that aint gonna happen! The female was obedient and came down right away. We found out the day before the dominant silverback was fighting hard with one of the other silverbacks because he was trying to ‘make nice’ with one of the younger males. Yes, that’s right - even gorillas can be gay!! Evolution, baby.

After visiting Bwindi we stayed in a local village and were drawn from our room to follow the sounds of drumming and singing. It was coming from an orphanage close-by, and we sat and watched these 50 or so beautiful children performing songs and dance. They were so cute it melted my heart. Even the littlest had soul and it seemed like it all came so natural to them. There high little voices echoed through the nearby valley and their smiles radiated my soul. They had art that all the children had done laid out, and we were able to meet the artists for each thing we bought. I hugged a little boy named Joseph who painted a gorilla on canvas that I bought, and he clutched onto me and hugged me so tight. Don’t worry, mom, I didn’t take him home. I seriously thought about it, though!

Our next 2 days were spent in Queen Elizabeth National Park where we did game drives and a boating trip. We saw a bunch of elephants, antelope, birds, hippos, buffalos and lots of monkeys. The hotel we stayed in one night - Jacana Safari Lodge - had as many monkeys in the trees as we have squirrels back home. Having never seen monkeys in the wild I was astonished, again, by their resemblance to humans. I seriously want a monkey… despite the fact that one of ones I stalked tried to pee on me from the tree.

Our last night in Queen Elizabeth was spent watching the US vs. England in the World Cup and I was sick with a fever and horrible sinus problems, but it made me feel a closeness to my friends and family back home that made me reminisce about past times and feel a bit homesick. I’ve only been out of the country for 2 months but it feels like much longer. That said I feel like I’ve only chipped the iceberg of the travel I need to do. I’ve decided to spend this week in Kampala recovering. I still am fighting this cold/flu thing. Next week I’ll head over to Kenya to do a 6- or 7-day safari, visiting Masu Mara and the Serengeti in Tasmania. After being out of the city for a few days I’ve realized what I learned in Botswana - that the more desolate a place I am in.. the closer to nature I am… the happier and soul-filled I feel. This makes me seriously consider whether I want to spend the next 5 months in Barcelona and am considering now spending 3 months there and then finding someplace in the countryside to stay a while. It sounds silly but seeing farm animals all over the place really makes me want to have a farm with a little animal sanctuary on it. Some pet goats, pigs, chickens, cows…

I am still trying to capture the chaos in Kampala in photos but a picture just doesn’t seize it. The cars and motorcycles fighting for space on the small, pothole-filled roads that are encircled by tiny tin-roof covered shacks - all selling CRAP like batteries and airtime - and the half-naked, barefoot children playing on the side of the road everywhere and waving and smiling excitedly at you in your car. It’s a sight to be seen. The smells of diesel fumes, the sounds of horns honking, the smell of garbage burning, the seemingly infinite number of hair weaving shops, the packs of boda bodas (motorcycle taxis) waiting on street corners, the potholes, the women with babies strapped to their backs with colorful fabrics carrying huge items on their heads…

The American Embassy sits atop a large hill in the city and from it you can see a village that is clearly poorer than its surroundings. I came to understand these are the slums and had Justin put me in touch with a remarkable man, Moshen, who runs a free school for the kids living in these slums. Last week I spent 2 days over there. The first I taught an English class to kids around 13. I really have no business trying to teach. I had no idea how to, but Moshen helped me along and eventually I connected with the kids and found fun ways to engage them. The second day I helped the older kids make jewelry. As this NGO is funded mostly by donations, Moshen wants to make sure the kids don’t feel like they are being given money. He wants them to learn they have to earn things. So the kids make jewelry after school and sell it to the craft market. This is how they raise a lot of the money to keep it running. I love what they’re doing. Parents here have to pay for their kids to go to any school, which just keeps the poverty continuing generation after generation. For parents who are not educated and very poor they can’t/won’t pay for their kids to go to school. Understandable, I think. So they can enroll their kids in this program if they can’t afford it but want their kids to get a formal education and vocational training.

The school is located behind a maze of narrow dirt roads that are littered with tiny shacks, kids and chickens. It’s an area about 30 feet by 60 feet, separated by 6-foot plywood walls painted with images of elephants, Bob Marley, birds, a map of Uganda, etc, into 4 classrooms. The walls start about 2 feet from the ground and there is open air below and above them, so it’s very loud and hard to keep focus on what’s happening in your small classroom. They have a bathroom in the back, which is a new addition, but it’s all you smell. The smells of horrid feces fills the air and the lungs of the kids and they don’t even notice. As an outsider it’s all I notice. The stench is overshadowed by the privilege these kids have to actually have a small concrete room with a hole in the floor. If this doesn’t make you feel fortunate, yet powerless, nothing will.

It would be great to see more of these schools open and even better if I could find a way to help Moshen in his mission. This is a feeling I seem to be experiencing a lot here. I want to help but have no idea where to start or how to. Even more, it’s not a small task that I could give a little and walk away from. They need ongoing help and dedication. And there are hundreds of groups doing similarly extraordinary things. How to help, who to help… I’m immobile trying to find my place in all of it. For years I could have thrown money at these organizations but being unemployed and on a tight budget I just can’t right now. Or can I (says my soul)? All I have now is time to offer, and that is what I can give. I still just have an overwhelming feeling that I can do more. Suggestions welcome!

2010-06-06T05:16:00.000-07:00

June 5, 2010

my first few days in uganda were odd for me but i think it was just because of the transition. i'm much happier now and am doing really well. it's totally different than botswana and i do prefer botswana but here i am seeing a lot of musicians and artists and breakdancers which is awesome. it is too crowded for me too. and the air pollution is outrageous. i have sat still in traffic for over 20 minutes on at least 3 occasions with deathly fumes filling my lungs. there are so many cars and motorbikes, and the motorbikes and cars and people fight for every open space in the road. the bikes also act as taxis - which i would never take - and many times there are 3 people on the bike, with one of them being a baby, and no one wears helmets. somehow everyone does move within each other so it's sort of an organized chaos but i can't figure out how it works. you have to be aggressive but not too much so. they all know the rules but i have yet to figure them out. i'm glad to be a passenger and not a driver!!

aside from the roads it's totally safe here. i haven't felt in danger at all. i don't think the people here are quite as happy as the ones in botswana but i don't see aggression either. the kids here are suuuuper happy and cute. they are everywhere and not usually under supervision or playing with store-bought toys and they are so much happier than kids in the US.

i may go to an orphanage tomorrow or if not tuesday to help teach english. i'm really looking forward to it. the kids i've met have just crowded around me and hugged me and were so sweet. they love white skin. they just keep touching it and asking questions about it. in general people admire the whites here (or 'mozungos' as they call it). it's weird. but i guess it's better than being hated! they love my tattoos too. i haven't seen anyone from uganda with a tattoo so they are really interested in touching it and trying to rub it off.

wednesday we head out to safari through sunday. we're going to see the gorillas, which i am so excited for! there are abotu 700 left living in this forest - bwindi - and they go in early to see where the gorillas are and then you treck in and spend an hour with them. they come right around you. you don't touch them but you just sit in their space as they move around you. i am sooooo excited! these are the last on earth. it's such a rare opportunity. after that we're going to some other wilderness areas to do game drives and staying in rustic hotels. should be great.

i forgot to mention that one other HUGE difference here is the HUMIDITY. i seem to be the only person who even notices it, and it is obvious that i do because i'm constantly dripping with sweat and pulling my shirt to unstick it from my sweaty body. i do not like humidity. at all.

i've been spending lots of time with brian. brian is an 18-yr old from uganda who needed heart surgery to survive last year. he approached justin last year and told him his story, and over time justin was able to get an israeli NGO agree to take him in and do the surgery. justin reached out to all of us and raised money to help with the travel costs and everything. brian stays in justin's house sometimes and is the perfect example of someone full of life. he runs around singing, dancing and laughing and it's just amazing to know he would not be here today had justin not taken him in and helped him out. he calls me aunty. it's really cute.

one bonus to being in a more urban area is there is a lot of food options. in botswana the vegis were scarce and often wilted. here the vegis are everywhere, as are the different ethnic restaurants, and i am in heaven. i've had NY pizza, ethiopian food and mexican food - and after having starches and wilted vegis - which i cooked for myself - for a month... this is heaven! the nicer lodges here also have pools and gyms, so i have taken advantage of both of them but not nearly as much as i should.

the internet as justin's house isn't working so i'm not sure when i'll be able to get back online, but know i am well fed and safe and still learning every day. i would love to share some photos of the mayhem that is the streets of kampala. soon!

2010-05-29T08:32:00.000-07:00

May 27, 2010

My days left in Botswana are numbered and I wish I had weeks - maybe months - more here. I have not seen even a small portion of the country and I am already deeply in love with it.

Since the donkey day I’ve been busy on the farm doing labor, which ironically I really enjoy. I can remember so many days that I sat in my office with aircon watching the construction guys outside and thinking about how much harder they work than us office monkeys. It’s true, they do - and yet they are paid so much less. I understand they’re lacking education, but when I try to do any labor I realize how uneducated I am at building things, so in a lot of ways it’s the same, isn’t it? Yesterday I mixed concrete and mounted the posts for what will eventually be the gates to keep Murphy inside. Right now, every time we get in the truck to leave the camp we have to try to outrun Murphy. We go crazy fast on dirt roads to try to lose him and he always catches up. When he does we turn around and go full force towards him until he jumps into the bush and then has to try to keep up with us driving the other way. We usually lose him at this point, but we also lose about 20 minutes - just trying to get out of the farm! Hence our need for a fence.

After a morning of heavy work we went up to the art collective in D’Kar (which is pronounced with a click - then CAR. “click”-Car). They have about 10 artists that do amazing works of art right there in the studio. Some of it, admittedly, looks like kindergarden drawings, but they are meant to recrate the traditional art that’s found on ancient rocks. But a lot of it is amazing and representative of the nature and lifestyle in Botswana. I bought a few small pieces and love them.

Today we spent hours working on the farm setting up motion detection cameras. We’re doing a study to look at the holes that animals, like aardvark and warthog, dig under game fences. This is a typical way a cheetah can ‘break into’ a farmers corral - by using these pre-dug holes. The objective is to find ways to mask the holes from predators but keep them usable to the other animals. The first step is understanding what is using the holes and how frequently. The motion detection cameras are set facing the holes and take photos when it detects movement. It was a lot of hard work digging holes and erecting poles to hold the cameras. It’s such interesting work. Again I have to admit - I love the labor! I think I missed my calling! :)

Tomorrow is my last day of work with the Cheetah Conservation and I plan to take time tonight to reflect on the decision I made to come here and how much I’ve learned. I am so glad to have had this opportunity and would do it again in a heartbeat.

rough day

2010-05-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

we had to get a donkey to feed the cheetahs so this morning we went to a nearby farm and bought a live donkey, killed it with an ax, skinned it and butchered it with kitchen knives. i mostly sat in the car with my ipod crying. i don't even know what to say, it was horrible.

last night was much better though. we went to our nearest neighbor's game farm (it takes 40 mins to get to our nearest neighbor btw) and went out to see the rhinos that have recently been visiting their water hole. we saw 5 of them and i even snuck through the bush to get a close view. they were huge and scary but beautiful and one had a gorgeous little baby.

i got great pix and promise to get them up soon.

missing that little donkey lots tonight.

2010-05-24T04:55:00.000-07:00

May 24, 2010

I’ve spent the last week ‘off’ hanging out in and around Maun and I’m totally in love with it and with the Old Bridge Backpackers. I honestly feel like I could stay there for a full year and never be bored or unhappy. Being (lap)top-less was liberating but having experienced so much in such little time I’m afraid much of it will be lost in the cobwebs of my mind.

Last week, Monday through Wednesday, I took a four hour boat excursion up to the Okavango Delta and Moremi Game Reserve. There were 5 of us on the trip… Hugh and Rachel, and Mariel and Carl – all from England. The group was awesome and we all had a great dynamic between us, which made the trip that much better. The boat trip was on a speedboat through very narrow channels of high grasses where we didn’t see another boat or person the whole way up. We saw tons of gorgeous, colorful birds and a giraffe but mostly I sat back and enjoyed being able to see a vast openness of untouched wilderness for hours and the magnificent never-ending blue sky. There is something magical about being in a place where the population of people is a fraction of the population of the wild animals. After living in cities for years this was a total treat for me, and one I wish I could have extended for weeks.

They took us to a pop-up campsite on Chief’s Island where they had mesh tents pitched for us and a little mess station next to a fire. There were 3 staff members who cooked for us and guided us through the bush explaining everything we were seeing and – most importantly – how not to be killed by hippos or elephants. We took the boat to the most remote, untouched area we could find, which required some serious manpower to get us through the tall grasses in order to create our own channel to solid ground. 3 men and a large stick (more like a small tree), shoving it in the water and pushing us off the delta floor through 4-ft thick grass, until we found where the bush floor met the delta floor… and we were off for a walk through the bush, creating our own path in the desolate, untouched wilderness. The walk was about 3 km and hot. I was at the back of the group and as usual wandering slowly, trying to take it all in. When just then I turned a corner and came face-to-face with a huge elephant with generous tusks, just 15 feet or so in front of me. The one rule they told us: When you come face-to-face with any animal DON’T RUN. Just freeze until told what to do. Which is why I, of course, jumped and ran away as fast as I could. I honestly thought I’d be able to follow that one rule but when faced with something that large, it’s not as easy as it sounds! Fear and impulse kick in such faster than memory. Anyway, I’m alive and all is fine so no harm done. But I suppose I’m lucky… that I didn’t shit my pants.

We found a huge lagoon where there were about 10 hippos swimming around and sat and watched them for a while. They’re also ridiculously large animals that, although they’re vegetarians, are nasty mother fuckers who are known to kill more people in Africa than any other animal, just for the hell of it. They’re beautiful, though, and make the best sounds. They sound like a big man with a very low voice, laughing “Haaaaahhhhh Hahhhhh Hahhhhhhh!” It’s hysterical, unless your mesh tent is 5 feet from water where you hear such hippo splashing around and laughing. “Haaaahhhhh Hahhhhh HHHaaaaaahhhh.” My first night in the tent I was so scared. Between the hippo and the baboons screaming I couldn’t stop thinking there was literally only a piece of mesh surrounding me and ‘protecting’ me, and why the hell should that stop anything from ambushing me? I was alone. I didn’t even have a pocketknife. I did eventually fall asleep, and the following night found the fear wore off much more quickly until I actually overcame it and really, thoroughly enjoyed being surrounded by the sounds of nature and wild beasts, right outside my tent.

Despite being safe and sound from the wild I will never be safe from myself. I got a minor concussion. I walked into a tree. Sober. Straight into it. The dizziness, headache and throwing up reminded me I’m my worst enemy. PS, I’m just fine and the bump is gone. It feels as far away as that island does.

During the 4 hours back to Maun on the boat I found myself deeply contemplating the life I’ve lead, and what a small little piece of this universe we all are. It’s hard to even remember working at my desk and talking about page views when so much of the ‘real world’ is surrounding me. The locals row by on their mokoros and look much happier than the NYers on the subway, who are living the ‘American Dream.’ I feel more at peace with myself than I ever did when I thought the security of my job was the most important thing in life. In the end I could have been one of those people on a mokoro and had only known that life, and despite being able to ‘have’ more than them – in this life – in terms of education and material things, I can’t say I wouldn’t have been more happy with such a simple life. Humph, maybe it’s just the concussion talking, but this is just a piece of the flooding thoughts I’m having about that.

I continue to be so happy to have done this and feel so fortunate. And this is just the beginning. It’s good to be in love with life again… it’s been way too long.

And I think to myself… What A Wonderful World.

2010-05-11T02:51:00.000-07:00

May 11, 2010

I’ve started working on a project in the office, which is using my skills – so I enjoy it – but it’s not as fun to blog about. I’m tasked with helping them find a software to use to send out their e-newsletters and to write the next one. I also want to help them get more visibility on social network sites. Even though it’s office work the doors and windows are open and the pets are at our feet so it is much nicer than the offices I’m used to.

Friday night we went to a nearby farm where they have a lodge that has a bunch of traditional San huts for the guests to sleep in and a Bushman walk, followed by traditional dancing. This was one of the things I was most looking forward to because the Bushman use different roots and leaves for medicinal purposes and I am into homeopathic medicine. Their methods and means were way different than mine though. Like the first stop this really old San woman dug up the roots of a wild plant and the guide told us it’s for ‘women who have problems’ (that problem turned out being infertility). You have to have an elderly person dig it up for you and you boil the roots and then drink the tea. In one month you will be pregnant. I’m incredible skeptical since so many of my friends have spent thousands of dollars trying to get pregnant, but the traditional part of this is pretty cool. We continued along learning how they use other plants but since we were with a tour bus (yes – in the middle of the bush in Africa they still have those annoying things) the tourists were annoying and rude and made it really hard for me to hear or see anything.

Following the walk the owner cooked us the best meal I’ve had thus far in Africa – a beautiful salad and a vegi Shepherds Pie which was yummy! We then watched the traditional dancing which was interesting but repetitive, and my distaste for my fellow tourists just grew and grew until I wasn’t interested at all. It felt like we were in the Polynesian village at Disney World and all authenticity went out the window.

On the way home that night I found out the farm next door found a dead cheetah and Max was going to pick it up. The plan was to autopsy it the next morning. Despite the great experience it would have been for me to partake I found myself very sad to have lost one when I hadn’t even seen one in the wild yet. So the next morning I hid in my room until after noon while they went up to the clinic and did it. It was the oldest and largest cat they’d seen around here and since the stomach was completely empty and the area around the cat showed the cats paws were flailing around before it died they believe it was poisoned. My heart aches.

On a better note we all went out dancing at Ghanzi’s only dance club Saturday night and it was… interesting. It was like a big hall, one that you’d find a VFW in or something. Wood panel walls, linoleum floors and one disco ball in the middle. There were about 10 men to every woman and they kept coming up to me telling me to marry them. One guy even introduced me his sister. It was cute and not threatening at all, but now I have some idea what it feels like to be a celebrity and have paparazzi complimenting you and following you around. Okay, maybe the paparazzi comparison is a little ridiculous but hey, I miss the E! channel.

I finally did some shopping! This really cool girl Sarah is based in Maun and came and stayed with us Sunday night. She runs a not-for-profit that supports women who care for HIV/AIDS orphans. In Ghanzi – as in other towns around Botswana – she has a group of women who meet regularly as a support group and the organization helps each woman get started on jewelry making. Each time she comes into town she meets with them and looks at the jewelry they’ve made and she buys the good pieces off of them. From there she tags them with info about the project and the woman’s name and sells them to the lodges for their shops. The money goes right back into getting materials for the women. I was so inspired by this. The jewelry is specifically ‘paper beads,’ in which they get large posters and use pieces of the posters to make ‘beads’ by rolling them and setting them. They are all so colorful and look really professionally done. I was able to buy them right off the women in the group so I stocked up on gifts for everyone back home. And myself. ;)

We also went to Ghanzi Craft, a well-known craft store that only sells the jewelry made by the local women and the proceeds go right back to them. While in the store I peaked out the back window and there were about 10 women with their babies and small children, gathered in the shade making the jewelry for the shop. I am a sucker for this kind of thing and stocked up on the typical local jewelry, which are strands of small beads made of ostrich eggs.

This week we are starting a new study which will require lots of time out digging on the farm and for the first time I’m ill. The stomach/intestinal bug that I’ve been expecting has arrived. So I will be taking it easy and probably just letting my body heal itself. As the poster on the wall of my travel doctor in NY says, ‘Travel will open the mind... and loosen the stools.’

2010-05-07T00:22:00.000-07:00

May 6, 2010

I never thought I’d say this, but I love farm life. To drive the perimeter of our farm it takes nearly an hour. We need to feed ‘the boys’ (the Cheetahs on-site) a natural prey for them so they can start learning to hunt. Two weeks ago they caught a warthog, which was not the preferential prey but available, and released it in the pen and it wound up chasing the Cheetah instead of them chasing, killing and eating it. It had to be removed. So this week we’ve set up 2 traps along the perimeter fence to try to catch something they can ‘hunt’ before going to the larger transitional pen up north. We’re trying to get a small Duiker or Steenbok. With large traps, shovels and bush-cutters we set out in the pick-up truck and set them up on different sides of the farm. It’s the kind of trap that once you enter and step on a plate the sides drop and trap you (them) in. There are so many small details we needed to focus on, like the actual pressure on the plate designates settings on the doors. And we had to cover the trap with Acacia so it would be disguised. Chopping down the Acacia in the hot sun was hard and hot and we got thorns in our arms, but to be honest I consider them battle scars and I love them.

Today I learned spore tracking, which is being able to tell which animals passed through a site based on their paw prints. We only focused on feline and canine predator tracks and I learned how to tell the difference between lion, leopard, cheetah, caracal, hyena, domestic and wild dog, jackal and porcupine. It’s complicated and hard to differentiate in the sand. We walked around the farm around our campsite and found a lot of porcupine, domestic dog (MURHPHY!), hyena, jackal and aardvark. To be honest I find it really difficult so I’m trying really hard to be able to spot and call them, but it’s hard for me and that really makes me pissed off and impatient. But I’m trying!

Today I also was really challenged with scat tracking, which is basically going through a bunch of samples of cheetah poo they’ve collected to figure out what it’s eating. It was a stinky job and I was like a kindergartener giggling and ewwwwing, but I will say the science lab portion of it was awesome. So how do you analyze poo? You take a dried sample and scrape it apart (with tools, I aint touchin’ that shit). Interestingly enough cheetah poo is for the most part just hair from whatever it ate. So then you take these hairs, insert them into a beeker-type thing, set it with wax, cut small cross-sections and set them on a microscope. Every species has a different hair under the microscope so you know what it ate. How cool is that!? Today we just prepared the slides, but when I know the results I will post them.

In other news, farm life is making me a beautiful glowing tan color… on my face and arms. I officially have a farmers tan, and that is only a week in. Having to trek through the bush every day I can’t wear shorts so it looks like this will continue to build with my pretty tanned face and arms, and pasty body elsewhere.

We went on a game walk yesterday and saw a bunch of cool animals, but the truth is unless you’re in a fully-stocked farm (which someone has to artificially stock) most animals hide and run. We still saw lots of different kids of colorful birds and game. I wish I was a bird lover, because there are so many I’m learning about but I really don’t care so much.
Camp life is good. I haven’t lived with a bunch of people in a long time, so sharing bathrooms, kitchens and living areas is very new for me. I really like the people I’m here with, which makes it pretty easy. It’s not as communal as something like Burningman but we are able to be together yet have our own spaces. So far, it works. For instance tonight I cooked a spicy vegi stir-fry next to Max, who cooked goat and some African porridge thing, next to Harry who cooked some bacon for her salad, etc etc. We watched Africaan TV and had no idea what they were saying, but we were all joking and playing with the pets. Elena, the Italian, doesn’t speak a lot of English so I have to make sure the way I say things she and Max understand. Max says I ‘don’t have a delicious language’ because I say fuck a lot. I told him to fuck off. :)

2010-05-04T02:44:00.001-07:00

May 3, 2010

Yesterday was my first full day at camp and although it was a Sunday we worked. The farm we live on is huge and we just basically rent a plot on the land. A bit up the road on our farm there’s a campsite where some local kids go when they have weeks off of school. This weekend we were hosting a group of about 35 orphans for an environmental education weekend where we focused on cheetahs and other predators, and helped them learn about the predators and despite the human-predator conflict, the reasons they are important to the ecology as a whole. It was cool because I hadn’t even been trained on all of it yet so I learned quite a bit myself. Like, for instance, you can tell leopards and cheetahs apart by their spots. The cheetah’s spots are solid black and the leopard has brown in the middle. Who knew?

When I heard we were doing this I groaned. I didn’t sign up to work with orphans here. I turned out having a great time. The kids were funny and sweet and really showed interest in learning. When I got there they were in a large circle singing and one by one they were getting in the middle and dancing. It was so freaking cute. They were 11-17 year olds and some of them were sick dancers, others just hysterical performers. From there we went on the ropes course where I supervised them helping each other complete the course. They were as crazy as any kids but what I did notice is if you tell them to do something directly, they do it. They are totally respectful of older people. After they all went they convinced me to and about 8 of them stayed by my sides supporting me from every angle. It was so sweet.

The funniest part was when we introduced the kids to a great livestock guard dog, the Anatolian Shepherd. He’s also our camp dog, Murphy. Murphy is only 7 months old and the size of a small horse. He’s a total sweetheart but you know he’s still a puppy because he’s playful and pretty dumb. A small horse trying to paw at you is cute but can knock you down. Anyways, when we brought Murphy out of the car and towards the classroom, which was outdoor and surrounded by a 2 ½ foot wall, he spotted the random goat that had been hanging out right outside the walls. He bolted for it and his leash broke, and after he chased the goat around the back they both came barreling through the classroom – over the walls, on top of the tables, jumping over the other wall. First the awkward jumping goat and then the uncoordinated small horse – all between the screaming kids. We caught Murph and the goat got away and I sat there… totally inappropriately laughing my ass off with my head in my hands very unsuccessfully hiding my laughter.

At sundown last night the group of girls here at the camp drove to a nearby waterhole to have a sundown cocktail and watch the sunset while Murphy, our camp dog, chased birds and bolted in circles around and in the water. The sunsets are gorgeous. You can see so far and the colors are breathtaking.
There are a total of 6 of us at the camp. 4 permanent staff members, 2 from UK, one from Australia who used to work at Brisbane zoo and 1 Motswana guy (people from Botswana are called Motswana). The volunteers are myself and an Italian woman who’s a photographer. It’s a really interesting multi-cultural mix. It’s funny to compare what we call things and what the values are in our respective countries, and to also have a local to help us understand the language and culture here. I’m never sure what will be considered offensive so I love that I have him here to ask. He’s like our big brother and a sweetheart.

Today we woke up and did some immersion training, learning a lot about the region we’re in, the predators here, the poisonous snakes and how to deal with them and the camp rules in general. We are about 30km (20miles) west of Ghanzi in the Kalahari desert. This area is the largest farming area of Botswana so the main source of income here is farming and livestock. Today we visited a farm where a cheetah killed 2 of their goats this week. It was way the eff out on a dirt road and they are working towards having a completely sustainable farm where they raise chickens to feed their dogs who guard their sheep who produce their milk, etc etc. Having always lived in cities I’ve heard so much about sustainable farming but never saw it first-hand. This farm does a great job in protecting their farm properly from predators but the warthogs have been digging holes to get under their fence, which has provided perfect opportunities for cheetahs and other predators to get at their live stock. My colleagues assessed the farm and made a few suggestions on how to better protect the farm – including filling those holes in daily – and also educated them about cheetahs as predators. They can’t climb fences, so as long as they are properly fenced in a cheetah can’t get in. They also suggest lining the surrounding areas with Acacia, which is a tree with thorns that look like toothpicks. From there we went to the nearest neighbor farm and talked to them to find out if this is a bigger problem in the area or if it’s an isolated incident. The neighbors haven’t had any problems, which is good. When there is a ‘problem cat’ – that strikes many times in the same area – they will attempt to trap it and release it in an area where there aren’t as many people and farms. This is really a last-resource option because when you remove a cheetah from its territory another one will move in and take over that territory within weeks, so you still have the same problem. So the organization focuses more on helping the farmers protect their farms better.

On our farm we are also housing 2 rescued cheetahs who are about 1 ½ yrs old. They were chased for a long distance by a car until they became too weak to do anything. Their mom ‘disappeared.’ The org took them in (as they couldn’t have cared for themselves at that age) and have kept them in a pen until they are fully grown. They are very careful in not exposing them to people except during feeding and also keeping their environment as close to natural as possible. We went down to feed them this evening – you should see how they hissed at us and attacked the poor donkey meat they were fed. This is an exciting month to be here because we will be driving them 11 hours north to a larger pen where they will be introduced to wild impala so they can learn to properly hunt before being set back into the wild.

This afternoon while the sun was still up I decided to wander the farm and see what surrounds us. About 15 minutes into it I came across a huge Corn Cricket that frightened the hell out of me. I knelt down and checked him out as he stood on his hind legs effectively making me leave him alone. At this point I was a little jumpy but I continued on through the thick grass enjoying the hot sun. I had my ipod on and was singing “Love is My Religion” by Ziggy Marley and smiling at how fortunate I was feeling. Until a large animal charged into the back of my left calf. As soon as I felt the fur I screamed and did a little ditty of a dance quickly stepping back and forth. When I finally looked back, it was Murphy. Damn dog.

First day at camp in Botswana

2010-05-02T08:03:00.000-07:00

May 1, 2010

I arrived in Botswana yesterday and was met at the airport by Harry, one of the other volunteers who I have heard referred to now as “The Cheetah Girls.” She drove me to the Old Bridge Backpackers where I had rented a safari tent for the night. It was a very cool place. My safari tent had 2 beds in it and overlooked the river. I loved it. There were a bunch of Peace Corps people staying there and they were very kind in helping me get acquainted with the money (Pulas) and the local beers. We took a sunset cruise down the river and I felt like I was on my parent’s boat in Florida. It literally looked and felt the exact same way, with the exception of a gorgeous giraffe hanging out riverside. I turned in on the early side after a white Botswanan pissed me off talking shit about Americans.

Today I slept in since I knew it would be the last chance I could for a long time. Harry picked me up and we went to the airport to grab Elena, the other Research Assistant, and then drove 3 hours to Ghanzi. The road was pretty empty of other cars but it was FULL of cows, donkeys and horses. We were constantly stopping to let them cross or to drive around them. I loved it.
Our camp is about 20 minutes past Ghanzi on a gravel road. By the time we got to Ghanzi it was dark and it was getting hard to drive in the dark and watch out for the animals. Harry’s a pro, though. Unfortunately about 10 minutes into the drive on gravel we got a flat tire. So here we are, in the middle of the desert in the pitch black night changing a tire. She knew what she was doing so I took the time to look at the sky and sit there in shock looking at the millions of stars. You can see the Milky Way crystal clear. The boss at the camp, Lorainne, came and helped out and I watched these 2 awesome women changing a tire like champs and felt some serious girl power. All I kept thinking is how I wanted to be more like these women.

I drove the rest of the way with Lorainne who proceeded to tell me they found and killed a cobra in one of the bedrooms on the camp today. Apparently the camp has had some snake problems lately. Awesome. I requested that room go to the other volunteer, and she’s in there now with the camp cat protecting her.

My room is cute. It’s in sort of a small cabin and there are 2 rooms, one being mine and Harry’s in the other. It’s got a bed, dresser, small table, fan and clothing rack. It’s actually better than I was expecting, as long as the snakes stay away…

After I had some chips and bree for dinner I returned to my room, unpacked, checked my bed for scorpions and am getting ready for my first night on the camp. They told me I’ll hear hyenas and jackals during the night and not to let it frighten me. Just like NYC!

Cape Town Round-Up

2010-05-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

April 30, 2010

Well less than a week into my trip and I’ve already procrastinated updating my blog. The good news is I was way too busy enjoying Cape Town and finally being able to sleep through the night to get on my computer.

Cape Town and the surrounding area are incredibly diverse. The city itself – the downtown area – is home to a handful of tall buildings but mostly smaller streets and squares. As a visitor I didn’t spend much time there because it seemed impossible to find anything I was looking for (from the guide book). Instead we found ourselves in a café drinking intense espresso and even more intense German liquor that tasted like liquorish, looked like motor oil and made me feel like I was tripping my face off.

The Waterfront is the main tourist area, which surrounds the docks and has lots of outdoor restaurants and shops. It’s a bit of a tourist trap really. It was fun for a beer on the deck in the sunshine, but the service there (and really in most places in Cape Town) was horrible, as was the fried fish I got. Everyone was raving about the food in Cape Town and I have to say I was very disappointed in it myself. Perhaps it’s because I don’t eat meat. The seafood is supposed to be some of the freshest you can get, but their preparation is just not to my liking. I kept trying but my fish was consistently too chewy or not cooked well enough. It could just be me I guess! By the end of the week we did find 2 great restaurants, both French :).

My favorite parts of the city were definitely the gardens and parks. While Cape Town is very cosmopolitan there are great little pockets of protected nature that were perfect for sitting in the sun and picnicking. My photos really will tell more about the gardens then I ever could put into words, but Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens is truly one of the nicest places I’ve ever been. They sell you a picnic in a bag and wine (all local and sustainable) and the views in every direction are to die for. It reminds me a lot of Marin County in California. You find yourself taking in deep breaths, smelling an amazing mixture of trees, plants and fresh, clean ocean-sprayed air.

The other outdoorsy wonder is Table Mountain National Park. It’s ridiculous!! The mountain itself is the backdrop to the city and massive. The National Park actually runs south to the very end of the Cape, ending at the Cape of Good Hope, the most southern point of Africa. It takes a little under an hour to drive to the southern point from Cape Town, curving cliff-side on the west side of the peninsula and coasting through little beach towns on the eastern side. There are a bunch of trails and we took one out of Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens, which we expected to be about 2 hrs and moderate. We were useless and really didn’t plan well at all. In the end it took us 4 ½ hours and we hiked all the way up the mountain and across the top. Ten minutes into the hike I realized my cardiovascular health is pathetic and that climbing rocks and stairs and ladders were much harder than I would have expected (well, HAD I expected that… which I certainly didn’t). This continued the next hour and a half. It was the most strenuous hike I’ve ever done and at times I beat myself up so much for not having the energy I wanted. That could be due to our lack of eating breakfast or lunch and only bringing 2 liters of water. It was exhausting and exhilarating and something I will never forget. Once at the top the views were breathtaking, the air was immaculate and I was feeling a pride I haven’t felt in years. We treated ourselves to some cold cider and relaxed, basking in our accomplishment and the incredible views of the beaches and city below.

Driving south to Cape of Good Hope is spectacular. The further south you get the closer to nature you are, and the highlight of the whole trip was heading to The Boulders, a beach on the eastern side, and hanging out with the cutest freaking PENGUINS! They are not scared of people and hang out with you. You can even swim with them if you can bear the cold water. There are 3,000 living there and we probably saw a hundred. Their little waddles and hops are so cute we went back a second day to spend more time with them. We felt like we experienced something that very few people ever have the opportunity to and I am incredible grateful for that experience.
Heading south we encountered wild BABOONS. They were at first just at the side of the road – one at a time – but then one after one they spilled onto the street from the cliff above and we found ourselves in the middle of 15 baboons! They surrounded us and picked bugs off each other and climbed on one another and made me scream and bounce around the car like a child. They marked my second-best experience in S Africa. Hands Down.

Only an hour outside of the city is Stellenbosch, the wine region of South Africa. Over the past few years I’ve been hearing great things about S African wine and I was excited to add it to the global wine regions I’ve visited (California, Rioja Spain, New Zealand, Australia, San Emillion France…). It pains me to say this, but the wine flat-out sucked. The popular regional grapes are Chien Blanc and Pinotage. The wines are pretty sweet and just taste off. That said, $10 will get you the most expensive bottle in mid-range restaurants. The wine region was lovely though and strangely… Dutch. Nothing was in English and all the streets were in Dutch. I have nothing against the Dutch but I can tell a Mustenburg from a Freidenchlaz. Or whatever. In the end we did find a great Cabernet from Rustenburg vineyard so it is possible to find a good one out there, you really have to look though.

I loved Cape Town. I wished I had weeks more to explore it. There is a really difficult ‘other side’ to it, though, that made me really uncomfortable… the racial divide. Only 20 years ago Nelson Mandela was released and the blacks were able to be ‘equal’ and vote. Today the racial divide is still very obvious. On the coasts of the cape there are huge, modern, mulit-level stucco homes adorned with huge floor-to-ceiling windows and the newest and most immaculate architectural gems. I’m not saying only white people live in those homes, but I do think it’s mostly white. And outside of these cliff-side mansions are these Townships of 4-walled simple, tiny homes piled on top of each other where it appears many of the blacks/’workers’ live. Some companies host tours of the Township and I could never do that. How weird, to have the white tourists come through and see how you live in your poor township… I just found it wrong to even photograph it from afar. I did, but kept my photos very limited and only enough to show this without stripping the dignity from the community.

Cape Town, I learned, is the S Africa equivalent to the French Rivera. This helps me understand all the new construction and the increasingly high-class living in a place that is still at the bottom of the global cosmopolitan food-chain. My memories will always include the nature and mountains, the beaches and the Miami-like condos that adorn it, the dramatic modern architecture that is sprinkled amongst the hills overlooking the sea, and the ability to come into close contact with some of the most basic animals of the earth.

Jetlagged

2010-04-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

My jetlag is killing me! After spending 2 nights back-to-back sleeping on airplanes my body clock just can't adjust. I am sitting here again post-midnight with high hopes for hiking tomorrow and sleep will not grace me. It's 6:40pm back home and 12:40 here and despite some Lunesta and red wine, here I am. Restless. Watching Delphine sleep. Missing my loves back home. Listening to music that should be making me sleepy but instead are making me a lil homesick. When morning comes I will be so cozy in my heavenly bed and all I can hope is that I don't lose a vacation day snoozing through breakfast AGAIN.

So let me use my time wisely and reflect on Cape Town. It reminds me a lot of San Francisco. It's a beautiful coastal city surrounded by tall mountains and rolling hills that are scattered with (surprisingly) modern, contemporary homes and apartment buildings. Delphine, my Frenchie, pronounces mountain "Mon-TAYN" and I love it, so from here on in it shall be called Table Mon-tain. Table Mon-tain is magical. It rises from the sea and is said to be covered by a 'tablecloth' of fog a lot of the time, though I have been blessed with perfect skies and 80/85 degree weather despite it being fall, so I haven't seen the fog at all.

The city feels very new. The architecture is very modern and sleek. The bars and lounges are hip and funky. The streets look pretty new and there is wi-fi all over. Unfortunately I do feel racial tension still. Or perhaps I am just more used to people being more friendly? That's possible. The fact is most of the people on foot are black and the people in the nice cars are white. I smile at everyone and the smiles are not usually returned. People don't seem very happy in general. I can't blame them. Every day I learn more about apartheid and can't believe that it was so recent that the blacks were moved out of the city and that the whites had that kind of power. I think I'd be pissed and untrusting as well. Some of this happened in my lifetime, and now here I am vacationing here. There is something uncomfortable in that for me.

But I do feel good about being a tourist here as I know I am helping the economy and I'm glad the World Cup will be doing the same.

We should never feel ungrateful. We have had it so easy.

World Cup in 46 Days?

2010-04-25T15:05:00.001-07:00

Cape Town welcomes the World Cup in 46 days and I am very afraid for them. The stadium itself is complete and gorgeous, but the surrounding grounds are no where near being done. Or started really. I can't help but wonder how this city is going to handle the oncoming foot traffic and mania. In general I've found the city very hard to navigate by foot. I've almost been run down more times than I can count due to the lack of sidewalks or pedestrian-friendly areas. Here are some of the photos of the area right outside the stadium, where they expect to host thousands of people in less than 2 months.

Go Cape Town, Go!!!

1 Day in London

2010-04-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

After flying an 8 hour redeye to London I met up with my Parisian friend, Delphine, who took me on a one-day tour of London. She lived there 7 years and is back in Paris now, so I got a great condensed version which was perfect! My flew out together to S Africa that night. Here are some cool shots I got from the quick pitstop.

Bon Voyage!

2010-04-23T06:19:00.000-07:00

Leaving Tampa April 21, 2010. One way ticket to paradise.

2010-04-23T06:16:00.000-07:00

I forgot to post these and wanted to share... My new tattoo!

Sadie and Rusty's New Home

2010-04-21T09:29:00.001-07:00

The pets are happy! Check out the view from their bed...

And our last day journey on the lake...

Speaking of Playlists....

2010-04-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

My friends rock! Michelle somehow pulled off an incredible gift for me, collecting over 7 hours of music, 'My Big Fat African Playlist.' So thoughtful! Makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Thanks lovebugs!

What a Wonderful World

2010-04-17T19:30:00.000-07:00

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

2010-04-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

What a week! Sunday Kevin and I hired a Mexican and emptied (most of) my apartment into a U-Haul and I left the building. AND the city. It was a rough day and I found myself at U-Haul watching them connect an 8x5 trailer to my soft-top Jeep Wrangler and found myself for the first time during all of this in total fear. I couldn't block out the voice in my head repeating, "Blood bath. Death trap." And here it is...

That said, once I started moving and got my confidence up I forgot this giant box was trailing me. It was easier than I expected and generally a pretty perfect drive down to Florida. I got out of NY late Sunday and vowed not to drive at night so stayed in S Jersey the first night, then Richmond VA and somewhere in Shit Carolina the nights after. The pets were amazing and seemed to love the adventure as much as I did.

My horribly un-PC note is about Shit Carolina. Granted, I was really tired when I got there so I was cranky and judgemental. But when I ran into 2 cars of ghetto-ass guys in the middle of nowhere at a gas station off the highway (which only once I arrived I noticed was across the street from a skanky strip club and scary motel) I was uncomfortable and pissed at Shit Carolina for serving this crap up to me. Then I drove like the devil as far as I could before dark and got a cheap motel, which was fine except there was only a Wendy's at a 'restaurant' having steak night. At this point my chest was tight and my back was sore and I wanted to chill out, have dinner, and have a strong drink. So I went to the steak night. I ordered one of the only things non-meat on the menu - catfish. "Ma'am, we are all AOUT of catfish darlin', saaarry." Then I ordered the salmon. All of out that too. She recommended the cod, I took it, it was clearly frozen for 10 years and more fried than freeze-dried fish. Plus french fries. A perfectly disgusting plate of brown food. AND... they didn't serve alcohol. Pissed as hell I went next door to Wendy's where I asked for a grilled cheese - basically a burger with no meat. The whole staff made fun of me and mocked me and I hated them, so I ordered a Frosty and only ate that. Then I went to my motel and opened a $70 bottle of wine that I was saving. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

The following day I met the rents at Jekyll Island in S Georgia. Cute little hotel right on the beach. I brought Sadie out to see the ocean for the first time - yayy! Here's what she did...

(first step into the ocean, she peed. first dead horseshoe crab she found, she violently rubbed against it. classy girl)

From there I drove to my parent's house in N Florida, which is so quiet and surrounded by beautiful gardens, overlooking a lake. Unpacking and reorganizing is a bitch but not having to conform to a schedule or be anywhere makes it more than bearable. I've been dying for exercise and went 10 miles away to a state park today to hike where I discovered miles and miles of Jeep off-road trails. With the top down, the sunshine on my shoulders and my music cranked up I took on the trails and beat the shit out of them. My Jeep was tilted to the side at 45 degrees and bouncing over bumps that threw everything in the Jeep up a foot and it was the best feeling I've had in months. I went on to hike for an hour and then go back to my parents, where we hopped on the pontoon boat and boated to a bar and back. Today was a good day!!

'Other Side of the World' Playlist

2010-04-17T18:31:00.000-07:00

For literally months I've been keeping a log of all the songs that have been inspiring and meaningful during this decision-making process and played it on and off during my drive down to Florida. For keeps sake, a snapshot...

I < NY = humbled

2010-04-10T19:51:00.000-07:00

I am moving tomorrow. I am leaving NYC behind. As I sit here in my apartment that is so cozy and feels like HOME to me I'm not really seeing that sink in. I think I should be crying my eyes out and calling everyone I love and telling them so over and over. I am aware of the strength of my defenses more than I am able to feel the pain of the preface to this transition. I think it may be because, in my mind, I have been swallowing this a piece at a time and although I am full following each course, I know the dessert is worth waiting for.

Today Tangent was my rock and my hero. He helped tackle the stuff that was left that I was avoiding as long as I could. He and I had a superstar couple of hours of packing up the Jeep and completing Mission Post Office Hudson. It was hard work but we stayed strong and kicked ass!

Tonight I'm sitting here on my stained couch watching my hot flat-screen tv that's sitting on a random table chair. To my left is a 8ft x 5ft box - marked with green hoop tape on the floor - that I've started piling my numbered boxes in. I still have shit all over but I'm pretty sure my organization skills are above average and I'm really not afraid to say so.

My pets are acting intimidated with a side of sadness and shame. I have prepared their travel area and bags very well and am happy to have a comfy area scoped out so they feel pimped out. My little pimps.

So long, New York. You brought me up. You showed me how it is and challenged the shit out of me. I think I put up a good fight, and for the record... you not-even-once intimidated me. Let's make that clear. You were my playground and to some parts of me, my grave. You made me forget my real priorities and blinded me with the excitement of accumulation and materialism. But you also sat next to me on the subway in your religious garb eating the smelliest, nastiest shit I've ever seen. I love you for that.

My love goes out to this big city tonight. The lights that surround me. The dirty subways down the stairs. The people speaking other languages and celebrating holidays I've never heard of. The people who sit on a subway together... the businessmen, students, blue collar, white collar, homeless, dirty, perfectly dressed, stroller-carrying nannies, douchebags, blue shirt army lieutenants, artsy freaks, hip-hop groups, mariachi bands, high school kids, tourists, tourists, too many tourists, breakdancers, loud ugly couples fighting and sweet people who shoot you a sly smile.

Quite Possibly the Catalyst

2010-04-02T19:31:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I'm about to admit this, but an Alanis Morissette song moved me to explore things I thought were a little out-of-reach. It turns out it was that needed gift that I connected with and GOT IT. Lyrics ...

Who
Who am I to be blue
Look at my family and fortune
Look at my friends and my house

Who
Who am I to feel deadend
Who am I to feel spent
Look at my health and my money

And where
Where do I go to feel good
Why do I still look outside me
When clearly I�ve seen it won�t work

Is it my calling to keep on when I�m unable
And is it my job to be selfless extraordinary
And my generosity has me disabled
By this my sense of duty to offer

And why
Why do I feel so ungrateful
Me who is far beyond survival
Me who see life as an oyster

Is it my calling to keep on when I�m unable
And is it my job to be selfless extraodinary
And my generosity has me disabled
By this my sense of duty to offer

And how
How dare I rest on my laurels
How dare I ignore an outstretched hand
How dare I ignore a third world country

Is it my calling to keep on when I�m unable
And is it my job to be selfless extraodinairy
And my generosity has me disabled
By this my sense of duty to offer

Who
Who am I to be woo

the pet revolt!

2010-03-30T20:30:00.000-07:00

Today I came home to a packed away bag of clothes pulled all the way to the middle of the apartment, split to pieces with all the contents perfectly molded into a little nest. Per Sadie.

I also found one of my packed up cardboard boxes, pried open with a giant furry orange kitty peaking out.

The pets are revolting! They are unpacking us!!!

I think they have spoken on behalf of my subconscious, who despite my excitement and movement, is digging its feet in the sand and trying to stay RIGHT HERE.

Tomorrow is my last day at work. The excitement and sadness that surrounds that statement is a little more than I can handle tonight. I am so excited. I also am suffering from a huge feeling of loss. My job has never just been 'my job'. My colleagues are some of my best friends who have known me for years and know what gives me a rush... what pisses me off... what makes me happy... what makes me annoyed... what makes me 'tick'. And so many other things. The reality is they are my family. I've been with some or all of them over 10 years. We've seen each other through relationships, life phases, heartbreaks, successes, love and loss, growth... difficult times, life-changing things... and tomorrow I walk away and leave behind the memory of these relationships. And tonight, that breaks my little heart to pieces.

Hundreds and hundreds of little pieces.

Expanding Your Comfort Zone

2010-03-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

RT @dailyom.com

The Boundaries Of Experience
Expanding Your Comfort Zone

Leaving your comfort zone of current patterns and behaviors is a courageous step toward self-growth.

None of us are born with a guidebook that provides explicit rules for thought and behavior that will enable us to navigate life successfully. To cope with the myriad of complexities to which all of humanity is subject, we each develop a set of habits and routines that ground us, their continuity assuring us that life is progressing normally. Most of us know, whether instinctively or by experience, that transformations can be uncomfortable, but we always learn and gain so much. Any initial discomfort we experience when expanding our comfort zones diminishes gradually as we both become accustomed to change and begin to understand that temporary discomfort is a small price to pay for the evolution of our soul.

Your current comfort zone did, at one time, serve a purpose in your life. But it is representative of behaviors and patterns of thought that empowered you to cope with challenges of days past. Now, this comfort zone does little to facilitate the growth you wish to achieve in the present. Leaving your comfort zone behind through personal expansion of any kind can prepare you to take the larger leaps of faith that will, in time, help you refine your purpose. Work your way outward at your own pace, and try not to let your discomfort interfere with your resolve. With the passage of each well-earned triumph, you will have grown and your comfort zone will have expanded to accommodate this evolution.

Whether your comfort zone is living with your parents, or perhaps being too shy to socialize, or maybe it’s not realizing your spirit self—whatever it is, start small, and you will discover that venturing beyond the limited comfort zone you now cling to is not as stressful an experience as you imagined it might be. And the joy you feel upon challenging yourself in this way will nearly always outweigh your discomfort. As you continue to expand your comfort zone to include new ideas, activities, goals, and experiences, you will see that you are capable of stimulating change and coping with the fresh challenges that accompany it.

THE PLAN

2010-03-28T17:48:00.000-07:00

I've been asked 2 questions pretty frequently lately and want to talk about them here.

1) WHY?

The funny thing is I find myself giving a different answer to everyone who asks. All the reasons are true and I am passionate about them so I find it really funny that I divulge different things to different people!

At the core of it all, I need a break from corporate life. For the first 30 years of my life I think I've dedicated all of me to my success. My achievements. But it's more than that, it's 'business' achievements. That corporate ladder deal. A few months ago I was in a lecture that encouraged me to draw a pie chart and separate out how much of your time is used for each part of your life. I really thought I was more than my title, but as I stared at this paper I felt a sense of shock overcome me. My pie chart allotted around 75% of my time/effort to work. Socializing, traveling, learning, exploring, giving, sweating... all of those combined was only 1/4 of what I am actually doing with my life. That's so wrong.

I also never thought I could achieve all the things I have. If you would have told me I'd be managing a sales team at a publicly traded company I would probably have had to look up what that meant. I feel great about who I've become professionally and am very proud of my accomplishments.

But the reality is that's one part of my life. 75% of it actually. But does the value of the reward I feel equate to the time I spend on it? Or in my business terms, I have the propensity to spend a lot of time at work but my engagement and value in such action is under-indexing.

Another reality is the direction my mind is heading. It's not in one direction, per se, but it's looking around and looking waaaaaaay out there. That is the kind of curiosity that drives you. In fact it won't allow you to stay still.

I'm really proud of where I've come and feel like I've achieved more than I thought I ever could. I want to feel that high and move on to what's next. I've dedicated a third of my life to my career and the things I learned are valuable and will still be valuable in 6 months or a year. And if I want to return to business I really feel confident I can do so and my relationships, experience and karma will help me in every step.

But until then I am exploring other things that are now 100% of my pie. Traveling, impacting the vitality of wildlife in Africa; learning about the animals, cultures and plants in Botswana and Uganda; photographing nature; living under the stars in nature; learning different cultures and languages; scaring the shit out of myself by daring myself to fear not what is unknown in my path; .... and I could go on for pages on this...

2) WHERE?

I am driving to my parent's place in Florida in about 2 weeks with my pets and ... dun dun dun!!!!... michelle/t3/chuck (this is just decided and awesome!!)

April 21st I head to Cape Town, S Africa and am there through the end of the month.

MAY: Cheetah Conservation Project in Botswana: http://www.cheetahbotswana.com/
There I am a Research Assistance way the eff out in the bush. I'll be working with a few scientist that are based in a camp that track the behaviors of Cheetahs and work with the farmers to educate them about the nearing extincting of Cheetahs and help them protect their livestock from Cheetahs (so they don't kill them).

JUNE: Heading up to Uganda to help my friend Justin with his not-for-profit, In Movement: http://www.inmovement.org
Justin has been over in Uganda for 3 1/2 years and is a friend of mine from when we lived in SF. His organization provides the Kampala kids with art education. I am just there to pitch in wherever they need it. I anticipate this will be the difficult part of my trip for me, emotionally. I am also looking forward to it for that reason.

JULY: I am moving to Barcelona for 6 months! I've been there twice, the last time 4 years ago. My mom flew out too and I expressed to her at that time that I wanted to quit and move there. I love the language, the people, the nature, the people, the ART. I never did it. Of course I didn't. Don't we all dream like that when we're on vacation?

The thing is, that thought never left my mind. It may have faded at times, but I can truly say it's the only city I've REALLY wanted to live in that I haven't. I've got NYC, San Francisco and Seattle down. To me this is a natural progression. Especially since I've been looking for my next step to me bold.

So yes, I know Spanish un poco. Yes, I have an apartment in place for when I arrive there July 1st. Yes, I've saved enough money so although I'm in unemployed world I will not starve. Once there I'm planning to take Spanish lessons. I picked out the school when I was there with my mom. It's 1 week classes so I can pick it up and drop it based on the other 99% of my life. I plan to take pottery and painting classes. I plan to live on the beach July and August with the exception of the Burningman-inspired 'NoWhere' - http://www.goingnowhere.org/ - in July. It's like Burningman... in the desert of Spain! A few less people... only 500 (compared to 35000ish in the states)!!

I really also want to study Yoga as my part-time job there... 'cause I can!

OK, there's the background. I am glowing. Excited! SO effing excited!!

2010-03-12T19:40:00.000-08:00

So like 6 months ago I was inspired by an article in one of my hippie mags that defined *metacommitments*, which is “a vow you make with your own soul, with that part of your being that underlies your personality, the part of you that connects to the eternal.”

They listed these *metacommitments*. I find myself going back to the notes I took when I read this and it really hits home with me. These are the metacommitments that I wrote into my journal when I read that article.

* to love in all circumstances
* to be of service
* to make your first priority ongoing transformation and growth
* to find out what is ultimately real
* to make community
* to make beauty
* to be compassionate
* to help make the world better
* to live as your highest self

SHIT, That's a tall order!! Yet becoming closer to reality than I ever expected. I light up knowing I'm chasing my inner values with no regard for what's left behind or what might not fit into the footprint that is a single 33yr old successful American woman.

"War Dance"... Rent it.

2010-03-07T20:08:00.000-08:00

War Dance
(War/Dance)
2006PG-13105 minutes

Set in civil war-ravaged Northern Uganda, this Best Documentary Oscar nominee follows the lives of three youngsters who attend school in a refugee camp and find hope through a rich tradition of song and dance. Coming from a world in which children are abducted from their families and forced to fight in the rebel army, these kids give it their all when they travel to the capital city to take part in the prestigious Kampala Music Festival.

****

In the midst of my research of that far away continent, Africa, I came across this and watched it tonight via Netflix. It's HIGHLY recommended unless you are a member of my immediate family. Mom, Dad, Kevin, if you're reading just close out and ignore. If you are not a family member who thinks I'm going to be diseased and hunted because I'm going to Africa, this movie is heartwarming and intensively touching. I will be staying near Kampala, the main city they visit at the end.

On a personal note, despite this being a real-life documentary I still can't imagine what I will see and feel when I am actually in Uganda. The poverty and horrible stories told in this documentary are not just in a movie... I have to expect to see all if it and still have my heart beat on. My heart will be breaking a lot, and I'm not ready for that but I'm working on it. It will be really hard to be there and engage with and live with a bunch of people(s) that I can't just HELP. Where do you start?

And another thing. Who am I to say they need to be helped? Last time I checked the enormous stress that the urban, educated society holds on its hunched-over laptop-obsessed shoulders continues to develop into these societies that numb emotion and closeness in an attempt to encompass independence (financially. emotionally.) and build POWER.

((end rant))

Barcelona, Meet Suzi

2010-03-04T20:35:00.000-08:00

I've recently posted some info on bringing dogs in and out of Spain. This has all stemmed from this dream I've had since I visited Barcelona (again) with my mom and fell head-over-heels for it. When we were there I thought I wanted to quit my job and move there to study Spanish. Mom and I visited a bunch of language schools and I even found one I wanted to go to. It wasn't realistic at the time and I still had things I was trying to accomplish back home.

Times change, people change... but dreams remain. Faced with the opportunity of having time and some money I have decided... Why the hell not!? I'm gonna live in Spain!!

So my itinerary has evolved and pieces are coming together organically and my vision is blossoming. As of today, I am spending my 2 months in Africa and then getting an apartment in Barcelona for 4 months. Or more! Or less! Wherever it takes me I'm willing to go. But I do know that moving to Barcelona for a few months feels right. It makes me incredibly excited and I want to run towards it like a light-addicted moth runs towards that solitary bulb in the darkness.

It turns out there are no quarantine rules going to Spain or coming back to the US for dogs so I am going to fly Miss Sadie to Spain so I have my buddy with me. Horray! After settling in I plan to take Spanish immersion courses, which are 4 hours a day. Outside of that I'll wake up when I want, have coffee at the cafe and enjoy the morning. I'll read and wander the streets and visit museums. And enjoy just living, without work or the typical responsibilities we're all surrounded by living in the corporate, urban world.

Perspective can't hide from me.

Bringing Dog Back to US from Spain

2010-03-03T08:30:00.001-08:00

http://www.cdc.gov/animalimportation/dogs.html

Bringing a Dog into the United States
A husky puppy looks at the camera.

Pet dogs are subject to inspection at ports of entry.

A general certificate of health is not required by CDC for entry of pet dogs into the United States, although some airlines or states may require them. However, pet dogs are subject to inspection at ports of entry and may be denied entry into the United States if they have evidence of an infectious disease that can be transmitted to humans. If a dog appears to be ill, further examination by a licensed veterinarian at the owner's expense might be required at the port of entry.
Proof of Rabies Vaccination

Dogs must have a certificate showing they have been vaccinated against rabies at least 30 days prior to entry into the United States. These requirements apply equally to service animals such as Seeing Eye dogs.
Importation of Unvaccinated Dogs

Dogs not accompanied by proof of rabies vaccination, including those that are too young to be vaccinated (i.e. less than 3 months of age), may be admitted if the importer completes a confinement agreement (see below) and confines the animal until it is considered adequately vaccinated against rabies (the vaccine is not considered effective until 30 days after the date of vaccination). Spanish, French, and Russian translations of form CDC 75.37 are available, but must be completed in English.

Confinement agreement (form CDC 75.37) Adobe PDF file [PDF - 1 page]

Translations of the form CDC 75.37 are also available:

* Spanish Adobe PDF file [PDF - 1 page]
* French Adobe PDF file [PDF - 1 page]
* Russian Adobe PDF file [PDF - 1 page]

Puppies that are too young to be vaccinated (i.e. less than 3 months of age) must be kept in confinement until they are old enough to be vaccinated, and then confined for at least 30 days after the date of vaccination.

Unvaccinated dogs must be vaccinated within 4 days of arrival at their final U.S. destination and within 10 days of entry into the United States, and must be kept in confinement for at least 30 days after the date of vaccination.

Dogs may not be sold or transferred to other owners during this period of confinement, and the person that signs the confinement agreement is responsible for ensuring the conditions of the agreement are met.

Importers must provide a contact address where the dog will be kept during the confinement period. If the importer will be housing the dog at several addresses or traveling with the animal, all points of contact must be provided.
Importation of Dogs from Rabies-free Countries

Unvaccinated dogs may be imported without a requirement for proof of rabies vaccination if they have been located for a minimum of 6 months or more in countries that are free of rabies.

Following importation, all dogs are subject to state and local vaccination or health certificate requirements. All pet dogs arriving in the state of HawaiiExternal Web Site Icon and the territory of GuamExternal Web Site Icon, even from the U.S. mainland, are subject to locally imposed quarantine requirements. Additional information can be found in the Compendium of Animal Rabies Prevention and Control.
Importation of Dogs for Commercial/Breeding purposes

There are no separate CDC regulations for dogs to be used for commercial purposes, rather than as pets. The rules for bringing domestic dogs into the United States are covered under U.S. regulation 42 CFR 71.51External Web Site Icon. When importing puppies, the importer is responsible for maintaining quarantine according to the vaccination and confinement agreement signed at the time of importation.

Info on moving a pet to Spain

2010-03-03T08:23:00.000-08:00

If you’re from the USA or Canada, the Spanish government has recently simplified the procedure for bringing your pets into the country. Follow these instructions from the Spanish Embassy. I would assume that for other non-EU countries, importing your pets is the same or at least very similar, but confirm with your nearest Spanish consulate. You can download the veterinarian pet certificate from the link on the right.
Requirements for the import of cats, dogs, and ferrets

The following requirements concern the non-commercial importing of cats, dogs, and ferrets into Spain.

It’s considered non-commercial if importing only up to five animals without commercial purposes (not being part of a sale or with the intention to sell).

The entry of dogs, cats, or ferrets under three months of age is not allowed.

In Spain the ownership certain types of dogs is subject to strict requirements regarding registration and safety.

Identification of animals

All animals will be identified with either a tattoo or a microchip compatible with standards ISO-11784 or ISO-11785. If the animals are identified with a non-compatible microchip, the importer must supply the appropriate reading equipment.

Certificate

The animals will also be accompanied by a veterinary certificate, issued by an Official Veterinarian, which will include the following:

* Identification of the owner or person responsible for the animal(s)
* Description and origin of the animal(s)
* Microchip or tattoo number, location and date of insertion.
* Information on the rabies vaccine (the vaccine type must be inactive, and in compliance with the standards of the OIE).

The veterinary certificate will be valid for 4 months or until the vaccine’s expiration date, whichever is first. Animals without the certificate will be denied entry into Spain. For animals from the United States and Canada traveling to Spain, parts V, VI, and VII of the certificate do not need to be filled. (download this form from the links on the right)

United States: the veterinary certificate may be filled out by any veterinarian accredited by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, USDA/APHIS, under the National Veterinary Accreditation Program, NVAP. However, once filled out, the certificate must be endorsed by an Official Veterinary employed by the Veterinary Services, Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service (VS/APHIS) of the Department of Agriculture. First, ask your veterinarian whether they are accredited under NVAP. If that is not the case, please contact the Area Office of VS/APHIS to request a list of accredited veterinarians near your place of residence. Once the accredited veterinarian has filled and signed the certificate, it will need the endorsement (signature) of a VS/APHIS Official Veterinarian. The accredited veterinarian or VS/APHIS Area Office can inform you of the procedure.

Canada: The certificate must be signed by a licensed veterinarian and endorsed by an Official Veterinarian from the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA).

The cage or carrier in which the animal is travelling must be labelled with the name, address in Spain, and phone number of the owner or the owner’s representative.

Once in Spain, pet animals need a passport, according to the European Union model, in order to travel to other countries the EU. Ask your veterinarian in Spain about the passport.

There are other requirements for owning a potentially dangerous dog in Spain. See the requirements at the link on the right.

Yes, I am Glowing.

2010-03-01T12:50:00.001-08:00

I just got my first of 3 shots I need for the rabies vaccine. They're $300 a pop! I better get bitten.

The other vaccines I've gotten so far are:
Hep A
Hep B
Polio
Typhoid
Yellow Fever
Cholera
Meningitis

On top of that I have Maleria meds that I will be taking every day over there.

On a positive note, by shot today was magenta and a very pretty color. So I've got some magenta chemicals running through my veins. Pretty... (scary)

Written From the Road: Travel Training

2010-02-25T21:17:00.000-08:00

Thursday, February 11, 2010

I anticipated the past 24 hours to be ‘travel training,’ but I never expected the adventure to be quite the clusterfuck it’s become. That said… this past day has proven to be incredible preparation for what’s to come. I’m proud to see how patient, calm and optimistic I’ve been despite the ongoing tribulations.

The recap: I was scheduled to fly to Cancun on a direct flight from JFK yesterday morning. At 11pm the night before the flight was cancelled due to the ‘blizzard-like’ conditions that were expected to hit New York. At some time in the early morning someone else going on the trip emailed me that the flight was back on. I was up at 6 and out the door with my giant new backpack, my yoga mat and some crust still in my eyes. Quite zombie-like I made my way to the subway and then to the LIRR. Just as I was arriving in Jamaica to hop onto the Air Train I got an email that the airport was closed. I was so tired and carrying such a heavy load. This was the worst news. So I paid peak fares back to NYC and went back to bed.

Around noon I woke to a flurry of emails from the others that were on my flight. They’d spent the past few hours researching options and were hopping Amtrak to Rochester to catch a flight to Cancun with a connection in Baltimore. I hadn’t met these people before and this sounded nuts even for me, but it also sounded like an adventure, and I decided… if I wasn’t going to be in Cancun I might as well do something!

So, I met my new friends in the Amtrak station around 3. It’s a group of 2 girlfriends, Meredith and Allison, and a guy named Alex. I immediately feel old having about 10 years on the girls, but they are very sweet and friendly.

We headed up on Amtrak and when we hit Albany Meredith gets a call telling us our Rochester-Baltimore flight has been cancelled. It was quite comical. We all sat there looking at each other… now what? A woman on the train tells us she was able to find a flight out of Cleveland. After a couple hours on the Blackberry we book 2 separate flights from Cleveland to Cancun in the morning.

The train pulls into Cleveland around 3am and we head to the airport. Alex and I checked in for our Continental flight. Allison and Meredith scored seats on a ‘USA 3000’ flight that leaves 2 hours after mine. Yes, the airline is called USA 3000. No, we never heard of it either.

I slept on a chair in the airport for about 2 hours and then made my way through security, boarded and FINALLY departed for Cancun! I will be arriving around 1pm Thursday, which is just 24 hours later than I had planned.

If nothing else this has made me earn my vacation and think that the relaxation and beach will all be more worth it since it was such an adventure getting there. I haven’t really felt an ounce of stress, though. I’m taking it as it comes. I’m laughing a lot. I’m being flexible. I'm thrilled for the adventure behind and before me.

Sweet Surrender is all I have to Give

2009-07-01T22:00:00.000-07:00

All of this unknown and insecurity stirring inside of me.

Deep breaths.

All is safe. Harm yields the biggest shadow but as I look ahead, I am blinded by the light.
I breathe.
re-adjust.
squint.
try to see.

Despite all the harsh rays trying to blind me... out beyond my physical surroundings there is a beauty in the depth that is beyond.

My current sanity would be saved by a little love.
<< right here >>

giant hugs

2009-06-25T20:40:00.000-07:00

i never thought a week could change everything.

i have absorbed the radiating beauty of this incredibly loving and fun group of women that are my seattle ladies this past weekend... and am a changed woman for it. i am so full of gratitude and awe that my chest is achy and my eyes are wide and sparkling. i have waited so long for the day to come, where i would exhale and find intent within me and the confidence i've been waiting for. i can release some of the anger and resentment and strip myself of my this overwhelming uncertainty, pain and melancholy.

i realized not only my heart was broken, my soul was.

it shattered in the same fierceness that of a plate thrown against a wall during a screaming fight.

i was in pieces.
it hurt so bad.
i couldn't recognize myself.
i couldn't remember who i was.
it rained for 20 days.

-- (actually it did) --

'i've had the time of my life...' and i'll cherish it as best i can.
thanks to the weekend to celebrate the bachelorette, erin. and to the 15 women who made me laugh so much my belly ached, sing at the top of my lungs, smile bigger than have in months, cry until i got it out, love until i found myself somewhere in the middle of giant hugs just fluttering inside. holy shit i needed that!

On The Radio: Regina Spektor

2009-06-16T19:25:00.000-07:00

On The Radio lyrics
Songwriters: Spektor, Regina;

This is how it works
It feels a little worse
Than when we drove our hearse
Right through that screaming crowd

While laughing up a storm
Until we were just bone
Until it got so warm
That none of us could sleep

And all the Styrofoam
Began to melt away
We tried to find some words
To aid in the decay

But none of them were home
Inside their catacomb
A million ancient bees
Began to sting our knees

While we were on our knees
Praying that disease
Would leave the ones we love
And never come again

On the radio
We heard, 'November Rain'
That solo's really long
But it's a pretty song
We listened to it twice
'Case the DJ was asleep

This is how it works
You're young until you're not
You love until you don't
You try until you can't

You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took

And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else's heart
Pumping someone else's blood

And walking arm in arm
You hope it don't get harmed
But even if it does
You'll just do it all again

And on the radio
You hear, 'November Rain'
That solo's awful long
But it's a good refrain
You listen to it twice
'Cause the DJ is asleep

On the radio, on the radio
On the radio, uh oh, on the radio, uh oh
On the radio, uh oh, on the radio

West Siiiiiiiidddeeeeee

2009-06-14T18:27:00.000-07:00

Amidst the coldest and rainiest spring I've ever experienced - keeping in mind I had 2 springs in Seattle... a beautiful day appeared. You had to look to find it. Clouds tried to stand in its way and cool breezes ran through it. Somewhere in there was a pretty day where people celebrated the sun that finally shone through! And visited the west side of the village. It's about time.

Pray For Grace: Michael Franti and Spearhead

2009-06-12T18:59:00.000-07:00

Why must I feel like this today
I'm a soldier but afraid sometimes
To face the things that may
Block the sun from shinin' rays
And fill my life with shades of grey
But still I long to find a way
So today I pray for grace

I take a moment to myself
So I can myself
To feel myself
And be real myself
Life's addictions and afflictions
Cause abrasions from their friction
Sometimes, it's easier to live in fiction
I can run, but I can't hide
From the pains that
Reside deep down inside
There is no pill
That can be swallowed
There is no guru
That can be followed
There's no escapin'
From my own history
Those that I hurt,
And those that hurt me
I was dead for a million years
'Fore I was born and
I'll be dead for a million more
After I'm gone
So I live, to give somethin'
That can live on
Like the way you hum a song when the music's gone
Like the warmth on the sand
When the sun goes down
And I'm sittin' with myself
Nobody else is around but,

(chorus)

Been a long, long time
Since I been away
Been a long, long time
Since I felt this way
Been a long, long time
I found the words to say
How much I'm grateful
For my life today
'Cause under every cup
You might find a nut
Behind every corner
You might get jacked up
At the end of every rainbow,
You might find gold
The last bite of your sandwich,
Hope you don't find mould
'Cause none of us
Can live the perfect life
The kind that we see on nick at night
And sometimes, we all
Just lose sight
Of the pain that will guide us
From dark into the light
We fall down yes, but we get up,
And sometimes we just need
A little bit of love
To help make it
Through another day
Into the night, into the light,
Into a Saturday
So in the morning when I'm waitin'
For the sun to raise
And my head's a little foggy
Like I'm in a haze
I remind myself that
Everything is gonna be okay
I take a breath, slow down and say....

(chorus)

my little puddle

2009-06-02T21:03:00.000-07:00

life has been incredibly still. once in a while there's a raindrop... just one large and powerful one... that drops into my little puddle and sends waves pulsating throughout my whole being. from above it's epic and beautiful. from within the movement makes me dizzy and unsure where i am or if i am still there at all. and then it's calm again. for the time being.

living in ny my puddle can get dirty. my dog pisses on it ((incredibly literally in fact)). pollution in various forms meddle in it. but after the storms i am clearer. cleaner. purer.

today i sit here trying to remember who i am. i've been in hibernation and helpless for a long time, and i'm done with it. i need to set goals! to start...

DANCE. really hard. get all lost in it. this can certainly be done alone.
(check! dave matthews live concert on tv brilliantly drove me to it. yay!)
BREATHE. deeply. more.
WRITE. nothing makes you examine yourself more than having to put it on paper.
(trying!)
EVOLVE. i am in there. i must not fear finding who i am today.
BE. with no excuses.

i know that from here i can't see how epic it is, but it is. it's time. it's ON.

I like my pit bull better

2008-09-05T16:41:00.000-07:00

GENTLEMEN, START YOUR ENGINES!!!!

Sitting there at the starting line, revving their engines... The driver in the red looks left sternly at the driver in the blue next to him... The blue driver makes a V with his index and middle finger and point the V at his eyes... then turns the V and points it at his red competitor... Oh yes... IT'S ON!

I heart Jon Stewart!! For your pleasure:

http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=184086

Also just grabbed this from the AP today. This is in reaction to Sara Polin's speech at the GOP convention yesterday, talking about all the LIES in her speech.

Some examples:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

Belated Birthday Tribute to Rusty!

2008-08-26T07:42:00.000-07:00

On August 19th Rustycat turned 11. It's almost surreal for me, since I got him when he was 6 weeks old. Back then he fit in my palm, was hyperactive and could somehow climb walls and get into the highest places in my apartment. I got him in college, and my roommate was allergic, so this bundle of kitten energy was in solitary confinement in my bedroom. This was in upstate NY. Did I mention I got Rusty at the library in college? Yep, the librarian had collected the litter that had taken up residency in the vacant trailor across the street. Rusty's mom had 3 legs. So Rusty's definitely a streetcat by nature! Born into a trailor park by a 3-legged mom. Love it.

After that we moved in with my parents. Rusty proceeded to scratch up my mom's new couches while we were out, so it was back to solitary confinement for the little guy. He's always been a smarty though, and somehow managed to squueze himself out the bottom of the bedroom door pretty often. My mom hated it, but secretly, it made me love him so much more.

From there I went to Australia for a semester and in those few months my mom fell in love with Rusty. Never having a pet in the house, she was not used to having to clean up after one or chase one away from garbages and stuff. After she got past this, she saw... he really just wanted love. Since he was weened away from the 3-legged mom too early he's always had a thing for cotton shirts. Specifically, licking them and sucking them (if you let him). Mom would let him and I think it reminded her a bit of her babies and how they used to release themselves into her chest and cuddle up with the comfort they could only feel with their Mommy.

Since then Rusty and I have lived:
- In an apartment in North Massapequa, where I moved after college. I was dirt poor and didn't have A/C and Rusty - all 15 pounds of thick hair - would literally pant like a dog from the heat.
- In an apartment in Astoria, Queens, with 2 other cats. It was here that Rusty learned how to be the dominant animal in a sea of wanna-be's.
- In a house on Castro Street in San Francisco, where Rusty had a cat door and wopuld bring us home 'treats' to show his love... specifically, live mice. He'd come in and stand in front of the TV - putting on his own little show - and spit out the mouse and chase it all over the house.
- In an apartment on 30th St in SF where Rusty came home with half his face slashed open and had to be rushed to the emergency room for 18 stitches.
- In an apartment on Harper St in SF, with another cat door so he could come and go as he pleased. It was here that I learned living on Castro Street had an interesting affect on Rusty. He started bringing another neighborhood cat home, through the cat door. I'd come home and an hour later the two of them would run out from the back of a closet and leave together. It was great. I didn't know the cat's name so I called Rusty's new girlfriend Esrella. Turns out Estrella was a MARTY, and Rusty - apparently - is a gay cat. Go Gays!
- In an apartment in Seattle, where Rusty really started to mellow out, and for once seemed to enjoy spending more time inside, with me, than outside with the kitties in the hood. It was here that Rusty got a crystal (like a kidney stone) stuck in his tiny little penis and came close to dying. This was also when I stood back and really understood how much love I have for this little furry being.
- In a Jeep Wrangler driving cross-country when I moved to NY!
- In a studio apartment in Chelsea (NY), which was only slightly tight until I rescued Rusty's sister, Sadie. Studio apartment + 45 lb pitbull = very little fun for Rusty.
- In a much larger apartment in Brooklyn, where he seems happier than ever and loves his new Father figure, Jeff. Here he is more loving than he ever has been. He seems very healthy and likes all the space we have, even if he does have to share it with Miss Sadie, who likes to position herself right in front of the water bowl so Rusty can't get to it.

To Rusty! My first 'baby' and 10 years of changes and challenges, spent together...

Recipe of the Week: Lemon Sole with Spinach, Olives and Tomatoes

2008-08-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

I'm not even done with my first helping of this and I'm hooked. This is crazy easy and tastes so fresh and light and lovely. This flavor combo is amazing. I got a recipe off Epicurious and switched it up. It's perfect for 1 person, and can easily feed 2. The quinoa and sauce make tasty and healthy leftovers. YUM!

Most of this is verbatim on Epicurious, but I've included my additions and changes...

2 garlic cloves, sliced
5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 cup Chardonnay or other dry white wine
1 (28- or 32-oz) can whole tomatoes in juice
Fine sea salt to taste
10 pitted kalamata olives
1/4 cup packed fresh basil leaves
1/4 cup capers
1 .61 lb lemon sole fillet (to be exact)
5 oz baby spinach
2 cups cooked quinoa (*Make the quinoa after you put the fish in)

Preparation

Make sauce:
Cook garlic in 2 tablespoons oil in a heavy large deepish pan over moderate heat (on stovetop), stirring until softened - 1 to 2 minutes. Add wine and boil until reduced by half, about 3 minutes. Add tomatoes with juice and capers. Break them tomatoes with a spoon and gently simmer, stirring occasionally, until thickened, about 20 minutes. Add sea salt and pepper to taste and remove from heat.

Prepare fish while sauce simmers:
Preheat oven to 400°F.

Finely chop olives and basil with a knife.

Lay fish fillet, skinned sides down, on a work surface and season with pepper. Spread the basil/olive mix over the fillet and spread evenly. Beginning at narrow end, roll up the fillet.

Bake fish:
Arrange fish roll, seam sides down, in an oven-safe medium casserole dish. Drizzle with remaining tablespoon oil and bake, uncovered, in middle of oven, until fish is just cooked through, about 18 minutes.

In a dinner bowl, spread a light layer of baby spinach. Spoon 1/2 cup quinoa on the spinach. Cut the fish fillet in half and place 1 half on the quinoa. Spoon the tomato mixture around the fish to your liking.

Then smile, cause you eatin' gooooooood tonight. :)

Inspiration, Ziggy Marley style

2008-08-20T12:44:00.000-07:00

I was listening to this when I was playing in the woods this past weekend, and it felt like it reached out to me and shook me a little bit. Since I'm cranky today I wanted to remind myself of the positive message behind this. Courtesy of Ziggy Marley, lyrics to Rainbow In The Sky:

there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind
there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind don't be blind

said you I'm living in my fantasy
but is you who are blinded from reality
the material world mean so much to you
you just can't get what I'm telling you

there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind don't be blind

cause in a town called sorrow there was joy
yes and there I met the painless tear
freed he expressed emotions that egos fear
my life is full of colors yeah my mind is clear

there's a rainbow in the sky rainbow in the sky

found I mercy in every sunrise
I am born again from the womb of the night
all I have I have left behind
minds' eye eyes eye a light will shine

there's a rainbow in the sky all the time don't be blind don't be blind
rainbow in the sky rainbow in the sky

Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health

2008-08-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

The rest of my trip to California was lovely. We had our annual sales conference so I got to catch up with everyone on my team. We had lots of laughs... too many silly things to recount here. My flight back to NY was delayed and I got home around 2am Friday morning, and then had to turn right back around and take a noon train to Grand Central to head up to my retreat weekend at Kripalu in the Berkshires. I have been SO looking forward to it, and I am so happy to say my experience there blew away all my expectations! Here is a link to Kripalu, which includes information on the program I took (R&R): http://www.kripalu.org/article/118/

Kripalu is nestled way out in the woods in Massachusetts. You take a train from Grand Central (~ 2 hours) and then a car for another hour. It used to be an Ashram, where a real Guru lived and guided about 13 disciples on Buddhism. Today it's a retreat center where you can unwind and take yoga classes and lectures on eastern traditions like meditation, holistic living and Ayurveda living/eating. I took the R&R program, which gave me the opportunity to drop into any yoga classes or lecture I wanted. Or not to... and to wander the gorgeous grounds. The weekend included dorm living and all meals. The meals are uber-healthy and they have a huge selection of organic, vegan delights at every meal. I spent my time there wandering in the fields, reading on the great lawn, taking yoga classes (including YogaDance - so fun!), taking an intro to Arurveda, getting Craniosacral Therapy and a Shiatsu massage and talking to a lot of other like-minded people. I left smiling at every stranger and much MUCH calmer than I've been in a long time. And feeling really, really happy. I just bought a new camera last week, so I had a lot of fun playing with it. Here are some silly shots and then some great photos (check out how amazing my new camera lens is!) of nature. If I appear incredibly giddy and happy, well... it's cause I was :)

California Dreamin'

2008-08-11T22:05:00.000-07:00

I have this really rediculous habit that's going on 5 years and shows no sign of slowing down. I go out of town for a few days, fall in love with the grass on the other side, and want to be there, where it's greener. As in, live there. Immediately.

On Wednesday I flew into LA for some business meetings. The weather was so perfect and it seemed like the flowers had bloomed just for me. Everyone was so happy to see me every where I went. I was happy and loving life. Don't worry, I am not about to insert BUT here. It just kept being perfect. I got to see Reb, Gabe and my boyfriend Zev. Zev's head grew flat on one side so he's in this little helmet. But damn - he doesn't care! He's the happiest, cutest baby I've ever seen. Check that little guy out...

The car rental place gave me a convertable PT Cruiser and I put the top down and drove through the canyon. I ate a beautiful raw salad for lunch. I shopped at Nordstrom. I even saw Perez Hilton. I was in heaven. I decided... I need to move back to California and I think I need to move to LA.

Saturday I flew up to SF and drove up to Marin. I got a little hotel room for the night and woke up, went to a stellar Iyengar Yoga class (2 hours!) and then Amy and Christine drove up there and we hiked around the Mt Tam area. The hike was so perfect and it seemed like the flowers had bloomed just for me ((intentionally sounding familiar here)). Check out some photos of the fog creeping over Mt Tam...

I wrapped up my hike and drove back to SF, over the Golden Gate bridge (which was being rushed by a thick blanket of fog that was flying right over the mountain and surrounding us) and I decided... I need to move back to California and I think I need to move to Marin.

You get my point. This is how I originally got to SF back in 2000. And exactly how it went when I moved to Seattle. And then again when I moved to NY. And somewhere in the middle of all that I spent 2 weeks in Spain and decided I was quitting my job and moving to Barcelona to learn Spanish and teach English. I will say that's the only one I didn't follow through on, and had I actually done it I doubt I would have regretted it.

It would be really nice to live in Marin. I could have a mountain in my backyard and a bunch of very nice hippies to do yoga with and even garden with. You'd think by now I'd be able to stop here since I recognize this pattern, but the truth is, this is how it's always worked for me. And I like when I get these bouts of spontenaety, excitement and anticipation. I am, true to form, your little rolling stone after all.

Recipe of the Week: Grilled Japanese Eggplant with Citrus Miso Sauce

2008-08-11T10:59:00.000-07:00

I'm in that place my heart longs for all the time... good old San Francisco. Last night Kerry hosted a delicious dinner for me, Amy and Christine in her newly purchased loft in SOMA. The place looks incredible and the food was wonderful. Kerry cooked 'Suzi Food' for us. It's nice to feel the comforts of 'home'!

In addition to some red quinoa and an asian stir fry of bok choy, crimini mushrooms and snap peas - all fresh from the farmers market - Kerry whipped up this recipe she got off foodnetwork.com. I love it and can't wait to make it!

Grilled Japanese Eggplant with Citrus Miso Sauce Recipe courtesy Bobby Flay
Show: Hot Off the Grill with Bobby Flay
Episode: Vegetable Spring Rolls

3 tablespoons miso
1 tablespoon honey
2 tablespoon sake
2 tablespoon water
1/4 cup orange juice
1/4 cup lime juice
1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh ginger
4 Japanese eggplant, sliced lengthwise
Salt and freshly ground pepper

Combine all ingredients except eggplant and salt and pepper in a saucepan and bring to a simmer. Let cool. Preheat grill. Season eggplant with salt and pepper to taste and brush with miso sauce. Grill for 3 to 4 minutes on each side, basting with marinade.

Camping at Clarence Fahnestock State Park

2008-08-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

We found our favorite camping spot! Benefits include:

- Less than 1 hr north of NYC
- Beautiful campground (if you have the right spot... more on that later)
- Appalacian Trail within 1 mile
- Boat rentals. Pretty lake that you can row on to little private island!
- Dogs alowed
- Area is pretty remote and not congested
- If you're bored or - as we would have it - rained on, there's a Movie Theater about 20 mins away and a Walmart! A great Mexican restaurant also in nearby town (20 mins).

There are a few things that can make camping here more successful.

- Choose your campsite wisely. There are a few loops where the sites are squeezed really close and there's more of a party atmosphere. We actually had a site in this area and we fell asleep to the family of 20 blaring Mexican music and building a giant fire with lots of help from their friend, Mr lighter fluid. They were very nice , I just was hoping to hear the wind or howling wolves or something of that NATURE.

Jeff and I scoped out the sites and in the case we visit again (or you are a lucky person searching for info on this). The more remote and cooler sites are 16-22, 30 and 40-41.

- Have what you need before you get there. If you don't you'll have to drive about 10 miles to get anything - ice, water, food, etc

Here are some photos of our play in the woods...

My Urban Garden

2008-08-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

Traditionally I have not had a green thumb. If it was green, it was just because it was covered in mold. I have killed every plant I've ever touched... until now!

Dez and Kevin gave me seedlings and a little Indoor Herb Garden greenhouse for Xmas. There were these little tiny pots to plant Chamomile, Marjoram and Thyme seeds. I kept them well-watered and with plenty of light, and 3 months later I am so excited to present... My urban herb garden...

I am humbled! This was one of the best gifts I've ever gotten (hint hint). I love my beautiful little plants and love how they've flowered too. Time to eat 'em!

Recipe of the Week: Halibut in Thai Curry Sauce over Fresh Corn Polenta

2008-08-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

I got this recipe off of Whole Foods' website and it's to die for! It's really easy - only 2 pots (one for the polenta, one for the rest), really healthy and well-balanced. I highly recommend it. The fresh corn in the polenta is so yummy! If I make it again I'll probably add a bit more red curry paste to make it spicier. I'm keeping this one for my next dinner party. It's very impressive.

Halibut in Thai Curry Sauce over Fresh Corn Polenta
Delicate halibut simmered with tender crisp zucchini and red bell peppers in a Thai-inspired coconut red curry sauce is served over an Italian staple, fresh corn polenta. Simple to prepare, the creamy polenta is a perfect balance for the spicy fish. While the halibut is delicious, feel free to substitute perch, salmon, snapper or grouper.

Serves 4
Fresh Corn Polenta

4 cups water
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup polenta
2 ears corn, kernels removed (2 tablespoons reserved for curry below)
2 tablespoons butter

Coconut Red Curry Sauce

1 to 3 teaspoons red curry paste, or to taste
1 can (15 ounce) coconut milk
1/4 cup fresh basil, chopped
3 tablespoons fish sauce
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2/3 cup chicken or vegetable stock
2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
2 medium zucchini, chopped
2 medium red bell pepper, chopped
8 ounces cremini mushrooms
2 tablespoons corn kernels, (reserved from above)

1 1/4 pounds halibut, skinned and cut into 4 pieces
In a heavy medium saucepan, bring four cups salted water to a boil. Slowly add polenta and whisk continuously for one minute. Reduce heat to low, cover and simmer 20 minutes, stirring periodically. Add corn kernels to polenta and cook 5 more minutes. Remove from heat, add butter, and mix well.

While polenta cooks, combine curry paste with coconut milk in a large heavy skillet and simmer on medium low heat for 5 minutes. Add basil, fish sauce, brown sugar, stock, lime juice, reserved corn kernels and chopped vegetables. Simmer for 4 more minutes. Add halibut and simmer, covered, for 10 more minutes or until halibut is opaque and cooked through, flipping once. Set aside and keep warm.

Serve halibut over polenta with curry sauce ladled on top.

DANIEL

2008-08-01T08:05:00.000-07:00

For Jeff's Bday I took him to dinner at Daniel... www.danielnyc.com

This is one of Daniel Boulud’s first restuarants in the US. If you don't know of Daniel, you can read about him on his site. He's a classicly trained and internationally renouned French chef. The dinner was incredible. A true 5 star experience, with incredible food and service. We did a tasting menu with wine paring for each course. They tailored it to our dietary restrictions (eat fish, no meat). It was SO GOOD! At the end of the dinner we asked if they could run through the menu they served and they printed them up for us! Here it is... ahhhh....

I would highly recommend this for a special meal, but be warned it does not come cheap. Fortunately, my man is worth it :)

I also used my Starwood points to get us a room at the W Union Square for the night. I am a huge fan of Starwood and they take really good care of me every time I stay in their hotels. This time they gave us a complimentary upgrade to a corner suite overlooking the park! Just lovely...

And to put a cherry on the top of this fudge sundae of a bday celebration, I treated Jeff to his first pedicure - and look, Mikey liked it!!!!

Life is good!!!

Wubba's Paw

2008-08-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

Sadie needs Prozac! She is obsessed with licking/sucking her paws. She got the back one all narly from licking too much so Jeff suggested we put a sock on it. So I did, and I put a rubberband around her ankle to hold it in place. I'm thinking the ruberband was too tight. 2 days later and I've taken the sock off and Sadie's paw is HUGE!!!

Tribute to the Jiant

2008-07-25T08:13:00.000-07:00

Happy 35th Birthday, Jeff!!

Camping at Oquaga Lake

2008-07-25T07:49:00.000-07:00

Jeff and I went camping up at Oquaga Lake, which is close to Binghampton. We cooked a ton and enjoyed the fresh air, nature, and our spastic city dog swimming!

Oquaga Lake took about 4 hours to get to/from Brooklyn, so it's a little too far for a weekend. But it is very peaceful up there and there seems to be a small movement up there. We actually found an amazing converted General Store that has all the organic, natural products you'd be LUCKY to find in a market in NYC. So I was hooked!

evolve

2008-07-17T14:56:00.000-07:00

i saw ani defranco at the united palace theater in harlem last night. this was on the setlist and one of the motivators in choosing to start writing again.

i walk in stride with people
much taller than me
and partly it's the boots but
mostly it's my chi
and i'm becoming transfixed
with nature and my part in it
which i believe just signifies
i'm finally waking up and there's this moth outside my kitchen door
she's bonkers for that bare bulb
flying round in circles
bashing in her exoskull
and out in the woods she navigates fine by the moon
but get her around a light bulb and she's doomed
she is trying to evolve
she's just trying to evolve
now let's get talking reefer madness
like some arrogant government can't
by any stretch of the imagination
outlaw a plant
yes, their supposed authority over nature
is a dream
c'mon people
we've got to come clean cuz they are locking our sons
and our daughters in cages
they are taking by the thousands
our lives from under us
it's a crash course in religious fundamentals
now let's all go to war
get some bang for our buck
i am trying to evolve
i'm just trying to evolve
gunnin for high score in the land of dreams
morbid bluish-white consumers ogling luminous screens
on the trail of forgetting
cruising without a care
the jet set won't abide by that pesky jet lag
and our lives boil down to an hour or two
when someone pulls a camera out of a bag
and i am trying to evolve
i'm just trying to evolve
so i walk like i'm on a mission
cuz that's the way i groove
i got more and more to do
i got less and less to prove
it took me too long to realize
that i don't take good pictures
cuz i have the kind of beauty
that moves

A new year, a new borough

2008-07-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

Testing, testing... is this thing on?

It may be a year later but I'm vowing to try to write... AGAIN. A quick update:

- Not living in NYC anymore... living in Kensington, Brooklyn with my man, Jeff.
- I did adopt Mercedes! But changed her name to Miss Sadie.

More to come! Yay for being inspired again!

Mercedes are quality, yo

2007-06-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

I may be adopting a dog! I've been considering it for months but more seriously recently. I have so many reasons why: I am a very good and caring owner. I love walking around just exploring the city... lots of walking for her! I want to love that dog and make her forget that she was once left :(. I have a flexible schedule so I have time to focus on it. I want to nurture goddamit! Rusty needs some stimulation... the old man is actually acting old!!

The lady I'm courting is named Mercedes. She is gorgeous and well-built and simply endearing. She was found in Brooklyn and looks to be 2-3 years old. She's a shepherd/pit bull mix and this tight little body. I took her for a walk and she was amazing walking on a leash, friendly (and not overly) to other people and doggggggs. Totally obedient. When we sat and talked to another dog and man after hanging with them both she came and chilled sitting under me. She trusts me. :)

The shelter I discovered is on 13th in the village. Here's their site with adoptees.

http://www.biscuitsandbath.com/adoptions.php

Mercedes is listed here but probably won't be avail on the site. This is her ad:

Mercedes
Female, 2 years, Shepherd/Pit mix
Not only is Mercedes beautiful, but she is so well-behaved. She is great with other dogs, children, is housebroken, and fine when left alone. Greenwich Village

Some great adoption sites I came across:
http://www.factmonster.com/dogs2.html
http://pets1st.com/articles/00059adoptingadog.asp

October Mountain State Park - Lee, MA

2007-06-06T18:59:00.000-07:00

I went camping and hiking for Memorial Day weekend last month. I was looking for somewhere a few hours out of NYC that would be car camping, safe and close to a lot of hiking. This campground was perfect for this.

I was alone and never felt anything but totally safe. There were kids and dogs running around and except for my deaf neighbors (I'm not kidding) there were people that were close enough to hear me if I was fighting off a bear. Or an axe murderer.

The hiking was beautiful. October Mountain is about a 10 minute drive from an entry to the Appalachian Trail and there are a number of smallers trails all around there. I hiked in on the Finerty Trail to Finerty Pond, which was still and calm and lovely. Then I head over and hiked some of the other winding trails on and around the Appalachian Trail. I'd say about 10 miles total. I only saw 4 people total the whole time. I LOVE THAT! I would definitely go back.

Here is some info on the campground:
http://www.mass.gov/dcr/parks/western/octm.htm
http://www.berkshireweb.com/sports/parks/october.html

Things to know:
- dogs are allowed
- no booze technically but as long as you keep it in cups and don't act like asshole you're fine.
-It's in bear country... oh my!

Photos to come... and well worth the wait!!

new york, new world

2007-02-23T22:10:00.000-08:00

this life is so surreal.
i'm home! i love it.

i've realized that i am independent by nature. i've learned that having one large group of friends is not in my nature. i've learned that having lots of different friends who i race all over to see not so daily fits me at the core.

i haven't written in forever and don't have the patience or confidence to at the moment. but i sit here, in my new-ish apt, alone and reflective and happy... and it feels great. the only thing static in my life is rusty. my other half. my crutch and my sweet dependent. we've come full circle and it's beautiful. i'm starting to know myself again. i think. i'm starting to know i have yet to find who i really am. but in my shoes today, i stand tall. i have my eyes forward and i really look forward to the next thing in my path.

here's to writing again! here's to wanting to say... it's all GREAT. and it's about time.

the wealthy woman

2007-02-21T11:33:00.000-08:00

The 8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman
by Suze Orman

Posted on Monday, February 12, 2007, 3:00AM
What keeps women from achieving the financial security they -- and their families -- deserve? I believe the root of the problem lies in the dysfunctional relationship women have with money.

That's the launching point for my new book, "Women & Money: Owning the Power to Control Your Destiny." My message to all women: Owning the power to control your destiny requires more than 401(k)s and Roth IRAs. It requires reconditioning from the inside. In this excerpt from "Women & Money," I discuss the eight qualities of wealthy women.

Qualities 1 and 2: Harmony and Balance

Harmony is an agreement in feeling, approach, and sympathy. It is the pleasing interaction between what you think, feel, say, and do.

Balance is a state of emotional and rational stability in which you are calm and able to make sound decisions and judgments.

Harmony and balance are perhaps the most important qualities of all, for they serve as the foundation for the remaining qualities. When you possess true inner harmony, what you think, say, feel, and do is one. We are so accustomed to this split-screen state of mind in which we think one thing, say another, feel something else, and act in a way that has nothing to do with what we just thought, said, or felt. When your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions are not in harmony, it shows up as an imbalance -- you feel agitated, uncomfortable, you sense something is off, so you find it difficult to make rational, calm decisions. This is why these two qualities are a pair.

Quality 3: Courage

Courage is the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action.

Courage gives harmony expression. When your thoughts and feelings are one, courage helps you manifest them in the form of words and actions. When you are afraid to speak or act, courage helps you overcome your fear. Courage gives you the ability to speak your truth, even when it is not what others may want to hear.

Fear is usually what stands between us and our courage. But if we are to embrace this quality of courage to its fullest, we can no longer allow ourselves to hide behind fear. You can meditate on your fear and think about it rationally and try to will it away, but in the end, if fear is preventing you from acting, you must find your courage and act to overcome your fear.

Quality 4: Generosity

Generosity is when you give the right thing to the right person at the right time -- and it benefits both of you.

Generosity is a quality that most women can tap into very easily -- maybe too easily. As women, we tend to be overly generous with our time, support, love, and money -- but giving simply for the sake of giving does not match the definition of true generosity.

True generosity goes far beyond what you give to others. In giving there is a power, an understanding that you are just the vessel that wealth or energy flows through. You allow money to come in through your hands and out through your heart. To be empowered to give, to be moved to give straight from the heart, is a feeling that all the money in the world could never buy. So let me ask you: Is that how you feel when you constantly give of yourself? Do you feel enhanced or do you feel diminished? You think of yourself as a giver, as generous with your time, your talent, your money. Others probably describe you as a generous woman, but if I were to look at you, I might think you give for the wrong reasons. Do you give because you feel that you should? Do you give out of guilt or embarrassment? Understand that true generosity is as much about the one who gives as it is about the one who receives. If an act of generosity benefits the receiver but saps the giver, then it is not true generosity.

Quality 5: Happiness

Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment.

When you find the courage to live your life in harmony and balance, when you understand and practice generosity in the truest sense, happiness spontaneously appears. When you are happy, you are open and accessible. When you are happy, you tend to be more optimistic. You approach new challenges with a clear mind that seeks positive solutions. You see possibilities rather than problems.

Happiness is not a luxury. It is a necessity for true wealth. When you are happy, you have the satisfaction of knowing that your actions come from a place of purity and balance, that they are correct and generous and kind. There are no regrets in this state of happiness -- and that's a goal worth striving for in all areas of your life.

Quality 6: Wisdom

Wisdom is the knowledge and experience needed to make sensible decisions and judgments, or the good sense shown by the decisions and judgments made from an accumulated knowledge of life that has been gained through experience.

The quality of wisdom is more than intellectual, and it is in no way related to how much schooling you have. Exercising wisdom requires cutting through the noise of life and tapping into your core beliefs to make thoughtful decisions. Wisdom results from inhabiting all the qualities that came before it. A wise woman recognizes when her life is out of balance and summons the courage to act to correct it. A wise woman knows the meaning of true generosity. A wise woman knows happiness is the reward for a life lived in harmony, with courage and grace. A wise woman knows how to summon her courage and do what is right, rather than what is easy.

Quality 7: Cleanliness

Cleanliness is a state of purity, clarity, and precision.

Cleanliness is about respecting the importance of order and organization. When you don't know where your money is, when you have no filing system for your important documents, when you dive into your pocketbook to pull out crumpled bills, when your car looks like a garbage can, when your closets are filled with junk and clutter -- you cannot possibly be a wealthy woman. You need to clean up your act -- quite literally -- to bring true wealth into your life. In India, women sweep the front entrance to their home each morning as a way of welcoming Lakshmi, the goddess of material and spiritual abundance, into their home, for there is a belief that she resides at the threshold of every house. In order for her to enter, she must have a clear path.

You might be reading this and thinking that cleanliness is nice but not essential to your financial well-being. I am here to tell you that if this quality is not up front and center, wealth will elude you and you will be left with the mess that you created. Respect the power of this quality of cleanliness. Tell the universe that you have cleared the path for wealth and abundance to enter.

Quality 8: Beauty

Beauty is the quality or aggregate of qualities in a person that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit.

Beauty is what you create when you incorporate the other seven qualities into your life. When you take the steps to have harmony, balance, courage, generosity, happiness, wisdom, cleanliness, and beauty in your life, you will exude confidence in who you are. And there is nothing more beautiful than a confident woman. Remember, when you are confident you feel secure, and when you feel secure you have no fear. And when you have no fear, you have the courage to say what you think and feel in a calm and wise way. And when you are calm, you make wise decisions with your money, which then allows you to be truly generous to others as well as yourself, which, in turn, makes you a happy, powerful, and beautiful woman. Do you see how all of these qualities work together to help you arrive at the goal of being a woman in control of her destiny?

Summoning the 8 Qualities

I've noticed, in my own life and in others', that the more you summon these qualities, the easier they are to access. Harmony yearns for more harmony, and balance abhors imbalance. Courage begets greater courage. Once you are generous in the right way, a lesser form of generosity will feel inferior to you. True happiness will never permit you to settle for a lesser form of happiness. Cleanliness recoils at disorder. Wisdom, once achieved, is with you forever, and beauty inspires beauty in all things.

Carry these qualities with you throughout your life. Write them on a notecard and keep them close at hand -- in your wallet or in your pocket. Make it into a talisman to guide you every day as you make your way through life and all its impossible demands. These qualities will keep you focused and tranquil. Let them and they will offer you constant reassurance that you are acting powerfully and correctly, with love in your heart and the purest intentions, to realize your goals of security and comfort for yourself and all you love.

Saddam hanged

2006-12-29T21:46:00.000-08:00

This is a moment for the history books. I wish I felt more proud to be part of this piece in history. But all of this is so convoluted with the war still going on, it just makes me numb.

By CHRISTOPHER TORCHIA and QASSIM ABDUL-ZAHRA, Associated Press Writers 10 minutes ago
BAGHDAD, Iraq -
Saddam Hussein' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> Saddam Hussein, the shotgun-waving dictator who ruled
Iraq' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> Iraq with a remorseless brutality for a quarter-century and was driven from power by a U.S.-led war that left his country in shambles, was taken to the gallows clutching a Quran and hanged Saturday.
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window.yzq_d['i_QVBNG_fyA-']='&U=13bhkfe8k%2fN%3di_QVBNG_fyA-%2fC%3d384892.10020983.10704612.1442997%2fD%3dLREC%2fB%3d3892108';
In Baghdad's Shiite enclave of Sadr City, people danced in the streets while others fired guns in the air to celebrate the former dictator's death. The government did not impose a round-the-clock curfew as it did last month when Saddam was convicted to thwart any surge in retaliatory violence.
It was a grim end for the 69-year-old leader who had vexed three U.S. presidents. Despite his ouster, Washington, its allies and the new Iraqi leaders remain mired in a fight to quell a stubborn insurgency by Saddam loyalists and a vicious sectarian conflict.
President Bush' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> President Bush called Saddam's execution "the kind of justice he denied the victims of his brutal regime."
State-run Iraqiya television news reported that Saddam's half-brother Barzan Ibrahim and Awad Hamed al-Bandar, the former chief justice of the Revolutionary Court, also were hanged. However, three officials said only Saddam was executed.
"We wanted him to be executed on a special day," National Security adviser Mouwafak al-Rubaie told state-run Iraqiyah.
Al-Rubaie said Saddam "totally surrendered" and did not resist. He said a judge read the sentence to Saddam, who was taken in handcuffs to the execution room. When he stood in the execution room, photographs and video footage were taken, al-Rubaie said.
"He did not ask for anything. He was carrying a Quran and said: 'I want this Quran to be given to this person,' a man he called Bander," he said. Al-Rubaie said he did not know who Bander was.
"Saddam was treated with respect when he was alive and after his death," al-Rubaie said. "Saddam's execution was 100 percent Iraqi and the American side did not interfere."
Sami al-Askari, the political adviser of Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, said: "Saddam was taken by force to the gallows but he was composed when taken to execution."
He said the government had not decided what to do with Saddam's body.
Mariam al-Rayes, a legal expert and a former member of the Shiite bloc in parliament, told Iraqiya television that the execution "was filmed and God willing it will be shown. There was one camera present, and a doctor was also present there."
Al-Rayes, an al-Maliki ally, did not attend the execution. She said Al-Maliki did not attend but was represented by an aide.
The station earlier was airing national songs after the first announcement and had a tag on the screen that read "Saddam's execution marks the end of a dark period of Iraq's history."
The execution was carried out around the start of Eid al-Adha, the Islamic world's largest holiday, which marks the end of the Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca, the hajj. Many Muslims celebrate by sacrificing domestic animals, usually sheep.
Sunnis and Shiites throughout the world began observing the four-day holiday at dawn Saturday, but Iraq's Shiite community — the country's majority — was due to start celebrating on Sunday.
The execution came 56 days after a court convicted Saddam and sentenced him to death for his role in the killings of 148 Shiite Muslims from a town where assassins tried to kill the dictator in 1982. Iraq's highest court rejected Saddam's appeal Monday and ordered him executed within 30 days.
A U.S. judge on Friday refused to stop Saddam's execution, rejecting a last-minute court challenge.
Al-Maliki had rejected calls that Saddam be spared, telling families of people killed during the dictator's rule that would be an insult to the victims.
"Our respect for human rights requires us to execute him, and there will be no review or delay in carrying out the sentence," al-Maliki's office quoted him as saying during a meeting with relatives before the hanging.
Human Rights Watch criticized the execution, calling Saddam's trial "deeply flawed."
"Saddam Hussein was responsible for massive human rights violations, but that can't justify giving him the death penalty, which is a cruel and inhuman punishment," said Richard Dicker, director of Human Rights Watch's International Justice Program.
The hanging of Saddam, who was ruthless in ordering executions of his opponents, will keep other Iraqis from pursuing justice against the ousted leader.
At his death, he was in the midst of a second trial, charged with genocide and other crimes for a 1987-88 military crackdown that killed an estimated 180,000 Kurds in northern Iraq. Experts said the trial of his co-defendants was likely to continue despite his execution.
Many people in Iraq's Shiite majority were eager to see the execution of a man whose Sunni Arab-dominated regime oppressed them and Kurds.
Before the hanging, a mosque preacher in the Shiite holy city of Najaf on Friday called Saddam's execution "God's gift to Iraqis."
"Oh, God, you know what Saddam has done! He killed millions of Iraqis in prisons, in wars with neighboring countries and he is responsible for mass graves. Oh God, we ask you to take revenge on Saddam," said Sheik Sadralddin al-Qubanji, a member of the Supreme Council for the Islamic Revolution in Iraq.
On Thursday, two half brothers visited Saddam in his cell, a member of the former dictator's defense team, Badee Izzat Aref, told The Associated Press by telephone from the United Arab Emirates. He said the former dictator handed them his personal belongings.
A senior official at the Iraqi defense ministry said Saddam gave his will to one of his half brothers. The official spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media.
In a farewell message to Iraqis posted Wednesday on the Internet, Saddam said he was giving his life for his country as part of the struggle against the U.S. "Here, I offer my soul to God as a sacrifice, and if he wants, he will send it to heaven with the martyrs," he said.
One of Saddam's lawyers, Issam Ghazzawi, said the letter was written by Saddam on Nov. 5, the day he was convicted by an Iraqi tribunal in the Dujail killings.
The message called on Iraqis to put aside the sectarian hatred that has bloodied their nation for a year and voiced support for the Sunni Arab-dominated insurgency against U.S.-led forces, saying: "Long live jihad and the mujahedeen."
Saddam urged Iraqis to rely on God's help in fighting "against the unjust nations" that ousted his regime.
Najeeb al-Nauimi, a member of Saddam's legal team, said U.S. authorities maintained physical custody of Saddam until the execution to prevent him being humiliated publicly or his corpse being mutilated, as has happened to previous Iraqi leaders deposed by force. He said they didn't want anything to happen to further inflame Sunni Arabs.
"This is the end of an era in Iraq," al-Nauimi said from Doha, Qatar. "The Baath regime ruled for 35 years. Saddam was vice president or president of Iraq during those years. For Iraqis, he will be very well remembered. Like a martyr, he died for the sake of his country."
Iraq's death penalty was suspended by the U.S. military after it toppled Saddam in 2003, but the new Iraqi government reinstated it two years later, saying executions would deter criminals.
Saddam's own regime used executions and extrajudicial killings as a tool of political repression, both to eliminate real or suspected political opponents and to maintain a reign of terror.
In the months after he seized power on July 16, 1979, he had hundreds of members of his own party and army officers slain. In 1996, he ordered the slaying of two sons-in-law who had defected to Jordan but returned to Baghdad after receiving guarantees of safety.
Saddam built Iraq into a one of the Arab world's most modern societies, but then plunged the country into an eight-year war with neighboring
Iran' name=c1> SEARCHNews News Photos Images Web' name=c3> Iran that killed hundreds of thousands of people on both sides and wrecked Iraq's economy.
During that war, as part of the wider campaign against Kurds, the Iraqi military used chemical weapons against the Kurdish town of Halabja in northern Iraq, killing an estimated 5,000 civilians.
The economic troubles from the Iran war led Saddam to invade Kuwait in the summer of 1990, seeking to grab its oil wealth, but a U.S.-led coalition inflicted a stinging defeat on the Iraq army and freed the Kuwaitis.
U.N. sanctions imposed over the Kuwait invasion remained in place when Saddam failed to cooperate fully in international efforts to ensure his programs for creating weapons of mass destruction had been dismantled. Iraqis, once among the region's most prosperous, were impoverished.
The final blow came when U.S.-led troops invaded in March 2003. Saddam's regime fell quickly, but political, sectarian and criminal violence have created chaos that has undermined efforts to rebuild Iraq's ruined economy.
While he wielded a heavy hand to maintain control, Saddam also sought to win public support with a personality cult that pervaded Iraqi society. Thousands of portraits, posters, statues and murals were erected in his honor all over Iraq. His face could be seen on the sides of office buildings, schools, airports and shops and on Iraq's currency.

you CAN hike in NY

2006-12-18T21:16:00.000-08:00

It's mid-December and over 50 degrees in NY. Global warming is the topic of so many conversations. I am just happy I have been able to outside so much. Knowing that winter will come dump on us soon I took the opportunity to head up to the upper west side to walk over the George Washington Bridge and hike a few miles up the Palisades, hugging the river.

It's relieving how easy it was to get into the woods. It's not quite what I'm used to - litter, sounds of traffic, a scary woods that I'm in alone... BUT it was a gorgeous and clear day and there is nothing quite like the view of Manhattan from across the river.

more cross-country photos

2006-12-14T15:06:00.000-08:00

not sure if you can see these, but here are many more from my road trip. they're pretty great!

http://www.kodakgallery.com/Slideshow.jsp?mode=fromshare&Uc=80hrciv.89lyjzvv&Uy=5f7g1n&Ux=1

Union Sq

2006-12-07T22:06:00.000-08:00

so. living so close to union square --((but not THAT close))-- is great. yeah it's busy and touristy but really - it's on the mellow side. i never feel like running when i'm around it. and i like the shopping, bars and all that that stems out from it. you know, there's 5th ave. but it's nothing like 5th ave uptown. yes many randoms flock to it. but i still don't feel like i'm claustrophobic when i'm there. and there is the perfect mix of funky business chicks, chelsea hottie couples and proud apple butts.

Today out of nowhere I discovered the Union Sq Holiday Market. Coming in clueless and just ready to walk through the park I was totally amazed by this holiday establishment that I guess is set up for the next month. I found myself wandering through these tent aisles and gleaming at the hard workers/artists in their booths, proud of their stuff and excited for customers. I want to support all of them. I'm such a nerd like that. They smile at me, I see their hard work behind them, I see them bunded up in small open tents in the cold, with tiny space heaters giving them the smallest bellow of life on their ankles. And I just want to support them.

i don't agree with this conviction.
http://nyc.metblogs.com/archives/2005/12/union_square_ho.phtml

Gobo, West Village(ish)

2006-12-07T21:51:00.000-08:00

http://www.goborestaurant.com/

So far this is my favorite vegi restaurant and by FAR my favorite delivery place. Everything is vegitarian and they have amazing MEALS, not dishes. And organic smoothies, juices, etc. And cheap for an amazing gourmet, vegitarian place. Love Gobo.

i just turned 30!

2006-12-07T21:08:00.003-08:00

5 minutes ago!

OH. the pure ecstasy of this moment is beyond the means of speech. or writing. 30 is not a goal. it's not a fearful ending. it's not something i've even thought, worried, feared or theorized about at all. to me, it's within the blurr of ages that you are when your life is all coming to a point. when you get who you are, way more than you got who you were in all those other years that you did (get...). you're just you. and for me, and i hope most people are at this place in their lives, it's beautiful. it's lovely.

i have a lovely world. i play a lovely role in it. it never ceases to amaze me... shock me... kick me... make me feel like the best person on it... confuse me... rain on me... challenge me... bliss me out... make me really busy...

it shares it's beauty with me in so many forms. it serenades me. it makes me smile. it keeps me company when i am alone and smiles back at me... it makes me laugh. all the time. ALL the time! yayyyyy for that~!

ok a lot of the time. my birthday wish for myself is:

(WOW, this is challenging)

be strong
smile
allow your heart to open constantly. a friend and a stranger will appreciate it.
just love. love. love.
keep learning. you are not a retainer. don't feel like you are close-minded when you can't remember all the worldliness you've been exposed to.
work hard, because you love how you feel when you do.
don't let yourself stay in bed because it's so cozy. wake up. go into the world.
remember... today could be your last day. if you were gone tomorrow, would you regret anything about today?
do every little thing you feel a spark to, unless your real ethics tell you it's not ethically right. don't hurt anyone or anything. but if you want to try something... experience something... prove something to yourself or someone else... do it with all your heart. your big, big heart.

happy birthday to me :)
i'm blushing!

Westside Market

2006-11-17T10:41:00.000-08:00

Massive organic and gourmet food market less than 1 block away? Check.

www.wsmarketnyc.com

All I have to say is 10 different kids of fresh, prepared tofu salad. Ya hear that? Brilliant.

Union Sq Greenmarket

2006-11-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

Farmers market 2 blocks from apt? Check.

http://www.edinformatics.com/culinaryarts/food_markets/union_square_greenmarket.htm

Union Square Farmer's Market operates year-round and is open Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday from 8 a.m. until 6 p.m.

emotions of color

2006-11-15T16:21:00.000-08:00

(from creativebehavior.com. thanks bok bok!)

Applying color principles fosters desired audience response. Warm colors tend to "move toward you" while cool colors tend to "move away from you." So a designer can use warm colors for emphasis and cool colors to minimize emphasis. Brighter colors attract our eyes first, and if overused, can cause visual confusion. Overusing a bright color as an accent reduces its effectiveness.

Emotional responses influence color considerations, and differences in color value and intensity can evoke very different emotional reactions. Light red is associated with cheerfulness, but bright or dark red can induce irritability. Light yellow-green is associated with freshness and youth, but the darker shade olive is associated with drabness and decay. Light sky blue is associated with tranquility, but the deeper value indigo is associated with depression.

Basically, in North American mainstream culture, the following meanings are signaled by color:
Red: urgency, passion, heat, love, blood, excitement, strength, sex, passion, speed, danger
Yellow: warmth, sunshine, cheer, happiness, cowardice, brightness
Blue: truth, dignity, power, coolness, melancholy, heaviness, trust, reliability, belonging, coolness
Orange: playfulness, warmth, vibrant
Green: nature, health, cheerfulness, environment, money, vegetation, nature, fresh, cool, growth, abundance
Purple: wealth, royalty, sophistication, intelligence, royal, spirituality, dignity
Pink: soft, sweet, nurture, security
Black: sophistication, elegant, seductive, mystery, death, rebellion, strength, evil
White: purity, cleanliness, lightness, emptiness, pure, virginal, clean, youthful, mild
Gold: prestige, expensive
Silver: prestige, cold, scientific

List above compiled from www.ergogero.com/FAQ/Part5/2Meaning.html and www.keysteps.com/Tips&Articles/feature3.htm

Notice how a particular color may have both a positive and negative connotation? This emphasizes the importance of careful color selection and coordination.

Different cultures interpret colors differently, and a savvy Web designer can avoid disappointing results and costly re-works by some upfront cultural research. "White is the color of death in Chinese culture, but purple represents death in Brazil. Yellow is sacred to the Chinese, but signified sadness in Greece and jealousy in France. In North America, green is typically associated with jealousy. People from tropical countries respond most favorably to warm colors, people from northern climate prefer the cooler colors" according to Keysteps. [www.keysteps.com/Tips&Articles/feature3.htm]
Imagine the negative first impressions made by selecting a culturally offensive site color scheme. That's only one example of why it's time well-spent considering how color choices support a site's message, its target audience preferences and demographics.
Written by Maura "Chip" Yost'sThis article originally appeared in WebReference.com

i want blue walls

2006-11-14T21:27:00.000-08:00

and i found the most amazing paints on the ralph lauren site... and i can go here for them... (must remember, must remember)

RRL Bleecker
390 Bleecker Street
New York, NY
10014212-462-4390

and if it will work, this is what you NEED to see. right now. http://rlhome.polo.com/rlhome/products/paint/items.asp?haid=48&f=lp&start=0

if you go there you can scroll to the bottom and from the hint of red, through the purples, and into the deep blues... you see what i have been seeing in my head. i love this pallet. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

more ideas for apartment decor

2006-11-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

The beautiful rooms featured here were the result of a joint project undertaken by the National Paint and Coatings Association and Woman's Day magazine for an article in the May 1981 issue of the magazine. Themed, Paint Tricks, Techniques and Treatments, the idea of the project was to actually transform a new, unadorned home with interesting uses of paint. The association hired an interior designer to create a houseful of fresh and exciting paint uses for the Virginia home chosen for the project. The result was a house with paint that looks like paneling and paint that looks like a satin wallcovering — rooms that were architecturally bland became stunning with rich new color combinations and clever paint tricks. The house became a showcase for the special versatility and beauty that only paint can offer in home decorating.
Perhaps the best aspect of the paint treatments used in the house is that they can all be done by the do-it-yourselfer with this explanation of how the techniques were done — a helpful guide whether you plan to do the painting yourself or oversee a contractor's work.
Living RoomThe living room in the house selected for the project was long and narrow. It had only two small windows at the front of the room, and no architecturally redeeming features.
Color and unique paint treatments were used to change the room from average-looking to something special. The walls were painted peach and the ceiling became sky blue — to brighten the dark room. A deeper peach was used to paint a ceiling border, since no decorative molding had been built into the room. The final distinction was made by outlining each window with a floral stencil to accentuate the floral fabric of the draperies. The back wall of the room was painted a shade lighter than the other walls. This helped to offset the problem of limited natural light
StencilingThe stencil pattern used in the living room is versatile — designed to work well with many different floral prints simply by changing the colors. Other stencil designs may be purchased at decorating centers and craft stores. Or, if you aren't satisfied with what is available in stores, you can make your own stencil using materials available in most office or art supply stores.
Here's how:
Find a design that you like or use your creativity to design your own. A simple pattern is best — one that will be easy to trace, cut out, and paint.
Transfer the design onto a piece of clear acetate by tracing it with a wax pencil.
Using an artist's knife with a #11 blade, carefully cut out the design.
To apply the stencil design to a wall:
Measure the stencil as well as the distance of the area you will apply it to.
Compute how many times the design will be repeated, allowing for a neat arrangement at corners.
Hold the stencil in place and lightly mark the wall where the design should appear. You might want to reverse the design by flipping the stencil over each time it is painted, creating a more interesting pattern.
Before painting, tape the stencil to the wall to keep it in place.
Using fine artist's brushes, a sponge brush, a regular bristle brush, or even your finger, outline or completely fill in the design with either a latex or oil-based interior paint in your choice of colors.
Work slowly and use a small amount of paint on the applicator.
Wipe off the stencil each time it is moved to prevent paint smears.
Painting a Ceiling BorderBuilders rarely include crown molding in a new home these days. Homeowners can install it themselves as a decorative accent, or they can paint a border at the ceiling line as the designer chose to do in the living room, master bedroom and study of the house. To paint a ceiling border in a room of your house:
Prime the ceiling and walls.
Measure the border using a wooden yardstick to ensure a straight line. Mark the outer edges with a pencil or chalk. (Our living room border extended two inches onto the ceiling and three inches down onto the wall. In the master bedroom and study, the border extended two inches onto the ceiling and four inches onto the wall.)
Cover the sections of the ceiling and wall adjacent to the border with plastic tape. (We suggest using a plastic tape designed for painting racing stripes on automobiles. Unlike paper masking tape, the special tape will not allow paint to seep beneath its edges. It can be purchased at well-stocked paint stores or auto supply stores.)
Paint the border in your choice of interior wall paints.
Allow the border to dry, then remove the tape from the ceiling and walls.
Tape the border for protection while painting the walls and ceiling. Remove the tape when all walls have dried.
Dining RoomThe dining room in the home had similar beginnings to the living room — it was a bland room with no architectural details. The designer decided to remedy that situation by continuing the tudor theme found on the home's exterior. She had the ceiling painted mauve for a flattering dining atmosphere and she suggested a sand finish textured paint on the main part of the walls for a stucco effect.
A special paint treatment which simulates fine wood paneling was used for trimwork and the lower third of the walls and became the room's best feature. Without fail, first-time visitors to the house thought the dining room had been paneled and had difficulty believing that it was a creative paint treatment instead!
Simulating Wood PanelingThe simulated wood paneling effect was achieved with wood molding and tinted glaze. Glaze, a versatile coating used for many special paint techniques, can be purchased in ready-mix form at good paint stores. To get a certain color, the clear gaze is tinted with universal tinting colors — also available at well-stocked paint stores. Here's how you can use wood molding, paint and glaze to achieve the same wood paneling effect in your home:
Install crown molding along the ceiling line and chair rail molding about one-third of the way up the wall. Between the chair rail molding and baseboard, install strips of panel molding in evenly spaced rectangles.
Prime the molding with an alkyd enamel undercoat tinted slightly with universal tinting colors to match the color of the base coat of paint.
Lightly sand over the primer coat.
Caulk the molding at the joints.
Fill all nail head holes with putty.
Apply the base coat of paint to the crown molding, window trim, chair rail molding, baseboard, and the wall section below the chair rail. To determine what color base coat to use, select a sample piece of real wood paneling you would like to copy. Match the base coat to the lightest shade in the sample. A paint retailer will match and mix it for you.
Next, tint your glaze with universal tinting colors. Match the glaze coat to the darkest shade in the sample piece of paneling. Use a ratio of between 5 and 10 percent tinting color to the amount of paint -- or, less than one pint of tinting color per gallon of paint. We recommend adding a small amount of tinting color and then testing the mixture on sample wallboard. Keep adding the tint and testing the glaze until you get the exact color you want.
After the paint base is completely dry, brush a coat of the tinted glaze over it.
Allow the glaze to set about 10 minutes so that the solvents it contains may evaporate. Timing is important the glaze should set (it will begin to look dull), not dry.
Using coarse, dry brushes brush the surface in the order and directions shown in figure 2. You will probably need both a two-inch and a four-inch brush. The brushing directions are important in achieving the wood grain effect, so work carefully. If a section of the wall is too long for one smooth brush stroke, brush in from each end and blend the strokes by overlapping them near the middle of the panel.
Next, splatter a small amount of glaze lightly onto the wall and molding with a stiff-bristle brush. This prevents a too-perfect look by creating slight variations in the depth of color and by subtly adding texture to the finish.
Let the glaze dry for 24 hours and protect the finish with a low lustre/satin varnish.
Master BedroomA shimmering deep blue wall created with a special paint combing technique — lent luxury to the master bedroom. A putty color paint used for trimwork and the adjoining dressing room worked well with the blue to add a warm, welcoming feeling.
Combing A WallThe bedroom wall looked as if it were covered in moire -- an expensive, satin-like fabric — but it was actually combed paint. The technique of paint combing is done by first covering a wall with one or two coats of regular paint. Next, a coat of glaze is applied over the paint base. Then a toothed instrument is used to comb through the glaze. The result of this special paint technique is so beautiful that it may seem difficult to achieve, but you'll be surprised how easily you can create the same effect:
First, apply a primer-sealer to the walls, tinted to match the color you plan to paint the walls.
If you are combing only one wall as an accent, paint the other walls first.
For the paint base on the wall to be combed, mix the color you used on the other walls with white paint. (Combing will darken the color of a wall.) A 50/50 ratio is recommended. However, if you choose to make your accent wall darker than the others, don't lighten your wall paint.
Tint a ready-mix glaze with universal tinting colors to match the color of the wall (see glaze tinting instructions).
After the paint has dried, brush the glaze over the entire wall.
Allow the glaze to set about 10 minutes — until the surface begins to look dull. Be careful to let the glaze set not dry — or it will be impossible to comb.
Combing, or striating is done with a metal paint comb made specifically for this type of work, and available at well-stocked paint stores. (Although the bedroom wall was combed straight down, combing can be done in any direction. Another popular version is cross-hatching — combing the wall once straight down and once across the wall horizontally. Or, comb the wall diagonally — starting at the upper left hand corner and working toward the lower right hand corner. If you are really adventurous, comb in wavy lines instead of straight ones!)
Comb the wall twice, overlapping the second line between adjacent comb strokes
Wipe the glaze off the comb after each stroke to prevent glaze from building up. Don't worry about keeping a steady hand or applying consistent pressure — these inevitable irregularities help create the satiny appearance you want.
Allow the glaze to dry for 24 hours, then apply a low lustre/satin varnish for protection.

Walls, Windows and Floors

2006-11-13T20:13:00.000-08:00

advice from move:

The designer's motto is: If your walls, windows and floors are well taken care of, all else will fall into place. You'll be surprised how attractive curtains, a tasteful arrangement of artwork and thick, quality rugs on your floors really make your room feel warm and complete.

Put these on your shopping list:
Collection of a series of old botanical prints, maps, paintings of animals or ceramic plates
Curtains or shades in colorful, quality fabrics
Architectural salvage to create a "built-in" dimensional feeling
Paint on the walls, if your landlord agrees
Large area rugs in living room and bedroom, even placing on top of wall-to-wall

Create a custom look with highly-styled designer curtain rods and finials.

Make good use of unique scatter rugs for kitchen, hallways, bathroom.

Whether braided ovals, flat dhurries or bound Wilton remnants from your local carpet shop, rugs add warmth and color while absorbing noise. Be sure to use a quality pad.

Curtains are apartment essentials for privacy in living room, bedroom, kitchen and bath. Make yours full and dramatic in olive velvet, shapely and natural in burlap or muslin, romantic and ruffled in chintz. Curtains let your personality shine through and suggest a polished finish. Create a custom look with highly-styled designer curtain rods and finials. Look for elegant gold-brushed artichokes, acorns, lions' heads and abstract geometrics.

Tricks of the TradeSearch for four tall, old shutters at a garage sale or flea market. Prop them up on the windowsill, gently leaning their tops against the window frame to create a fitted wooden "curtain."

Instead of hanging one lonely picture, cover your walls with a collection of photos.
Create a "wallscape." Instead of hanging one lonely picture, cover your walls with six botanical prints arranged in rows, a collection of rich green majolica plates, 12 black-and-white art photographs framed with extra-large matting. A collection is better for filling the big expanse of walls often found in newer apartments.

Use old architectural salvage crafted from wood or iron. Find an interesting piece the width of your door and hang directly above it to fake a molding or door surround. Seek out interesting, carved pieces featuring fruit, eagles, cherubs or iron grillwork.

Not enough can be said about the power of color. In many states, a landlord is required by law to paint an apartment before any new tenant moves in. Ask him if a pale shade of blue, salmon, yellow or cream could replace the stark "apartment white" (paler colors are easier to paint over later). Painting even one wall gives a room an immense lift and acts as a mood enhancer—it's worth asking your landlord.

Use storage solutions that do double duty as display. Hang eight attractive hat hooks in your tiny entryway to show off your straw and woolen hats. An iron pot rack hung from the kitchen ceiling displays your basket collection. A coat rack in the boudoir turns into an elegant display of lacy lingerie and silk robes. Use tables that have shelves beneath for holding books, magazines and pottery.

Wednesdays - Flamenco at enyay (N)

2006-11-09T16:09:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to see Alex's cousin, Laura, and her boyfriend, David, perform Flamenco at an awesome tapas restaurant called N (but the spanish N - with the accent on top). They perform there every Wednesday from 8-10. It's at 33 Crosby between Broom and Grand in Soho. Must keep this in mind - I'd love to go back! The shrimp tapas were excellent. The cod-filled peppers were awesome. the gazpacho had chunks of watermellon... YUM. the sangria was so good but I don't think it had any alcohol in it.

The FLAMENCO performance was even better than the one I saw in Barcelona this summer!

quantum leap natural foods

2006-11-07T22:24:00.000-08:00

thompson between w 4th and bleeker?

vegitarian with fish. low dairy content in food. YUMMY. this was a great, mellow place that was laid-back with very chill and attentive staff. i had curry vegi stew and on that cold, gray day it was PERFECT and amazing. and the brown rice had lentils in it. i give it 3 1/2 stars (out of 4). also known for the brunch, vegi burgers and sandwiches.

1 week down

2006-11-07T22:09:00.000-08:00

Well... 1 week down and I've scored an apartment in Chelsea that I officially move myself (and necessarily my stuff) into 11/17. so fast, so sweet, love it. i'm living in a studio apartment in a really quiet yet central location and i am so excited about it. my mind is overly occupied with thoughts of separation. physical separation, that is... my 'main room' from my 'bedroom' in my 'one room.' thoughts of plants and asian screens and curtains and hanging windows and connected old doors. none of which strike me as the product of the creativity in my mind and within my mentor friends. so i keep thinking.

loft sites

2006-11-03T22:10:00.000-08:00

i have no idea how to live in a studio so i'm thinking i need to have a loft build. the new zealand guy named mike (?) will build it, so i'm brainstorming. suggestions welcome. it really can't be looking like a dorm bunk bed and for some reason that's all i can picture...

http://www.loft-beds.net/

http://www99.shopping.com/xGS-Dorm_Loft~NS-1~linkin_id-8002381~r-1~CLT-INTR~RFR-search.yahoo.com

Adding more pix as I can - posted by Rebecca

2006-11-03T08:33:00.000-08:00

friends... we have lift-off

2006-11-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

today i signed my lease! uhhhh-HUH. and it's become clear to me that i move faster than anyone. i took the second place i saw and it's a super cute place and amazing location. as the days have past i have thought long and hard about my decision to live there and i have only had positive and exciting thoughts and emotions. this place has good energy. i can feel the universe and its forces encouraging, nodding and embracing this decision.

here is one listing for my apt that i found online...
Large loft like studio! Big, open space with high ceilings and two closets, one being a walk in. Open kitchen with two large windows. Dressing area leads directly to full windowed bathroom. Beautiful grounds with open air garden, elevator and laundry on site.

i'm sure this will be disabled soon, but here are photos of the plce today: http://www.citi-habitats.com/popfiles/show_pictures.php?adID=714310

AND the best part is... when i saw it the kitchen was demolished and ripped out of the wall. when i was signing the lease today they told me they were renevating it and putting in marble countertops and a dishwasher :).

and in the meantime i'm staying at kara's with her roommate chris and they are both so amazing and welcoming and i feel so comfortable here. i feel so lucky. kara is so generous for giving me her room. chris is so chill and easy and great to 'live' with. coincidence, faith and destiny. mmhmm.

GREAT listing of vegi/vegan restaurants in NYC

2006-11-02T19:53:00.000-08:00

http://www.vrg.org/travel/manhattan.htm

more and more...

2006-11-02T14:18:00.000-08:00

More pix from Rebecca...definitely will be out of order but so what!

2006-10-28T20:11:00.000-07:00

this state has too much traffic. really.

2006-10-28T19:46:00.000-07:00

cincinnatti

2006-10-28T19:43:00.000-07:00

nashville photos

2006-10-28T19:29:00.000-07:00

memphis photos

2006-10-28T19:16:00.000-07:00