i just turned 30!

5 minutes ago!

OH. the pure ecstasy of this moment is beyond the means of speech. or writing. 30 is not a goal. it's not a fearful ending. it's not something i've even thought, worried, feared or theorized about at all. to me, it's within the blurr of ages that you are when your life is all coming to a point. when you get who you are, way more than you got who you were in all those other years that you did (get...). you're just you. and for me, and i hope most people are at this place in their lives, it's beautiful. it's lovely.

i have a lovely world. i play a lovely role in it. it never ceases to amaze me... shock me... kick me... make me feel like the best person on it... confuse me... rain on me... challenge me... bliss me out... make me really busy...

it shares it's beauty with me in so many forms. it serenades me. it makes me smile. it keeps me company when i am alone and smiles back at me... it makes me laugh. all the time. ALL the time! yayyyyy for that~!

ok a lot of the time. my birthday wish for myself is:

(WOW, this is challenging)

be strong
smile
allow your heart to open constantly. a friend and a stranger will appreciate it.
just love. love. love.
keep learning. you are not a retainer. don't feel like you are close-minded when you can't remember all the worldliness you've been exposed to.
work hard, because you love how you feel when you do.
don't let yourself stay in bed because it's so cozy. wake up. go into the world.
remember... today could be your last day. if you were gone tomorrow, would you regret anything about today?
do every little thing you feel a spark to, unless your real ethics tell you it's not ethically right. don't hurt anyone or anything. but if you want to try something... experience something... prove something to yourself or someone else... do it with all your heart. your big, big heart.

happy birthday to me :)
i'm blushing!