I finally got away from the hotel I’ve been stranded and lonely in, watching the torrential tropical rains from my bungalow and feeling the huge gusts of wind rip the leaves off the trees surrounding me. Protecting me. Before I did I was able to rent a DVD player in my bungalow and I watched ‘The Beach’ with Leonardo DeCaprio, which was actually filmed in Bangkok and here in the islands in Thailand and it was fun to watch what it *would* look like here if it weren’t pouring. Crazy to believe it’s the same place. Just as crazy was looking through the brochure for my resort, Tommy’s, which appears to be at the heart of the full moon parties. These photos show tons of people partying to psy-trance on the beach, painting their bodies in glow paints, drinking buckets of coke/rum/red bull and raving their asses off. The only people I saw while I was there were the people running around repairing leaving bungalows, collecting wind-thrown trash and branches, etc. I can’t believe it was the same place!!
Today I was able to get to the other side of the island to a detox/yoga place called Ananda Wellness Resort. My taxi driver showed me the HUGE boulder that had fell, blocked half of the road and taken down the electric line, which is why we were without electricity for 2 days. The entire island is in shambles. During our drive he told me he’d never seen this before. We’re supposed to be ‘sweating our tits off.’ Ahhh how I wish we were.
I had to switch taxis at the pier (because nothing can be as smooth as 1 car actually going a whole 10km in Thailand) and there were hundreds of backpackers, hiding under roofs and waiting and trashing 7-11. They were all waiting for the boat the army was sending over to get ‘stranded’ people on the island. No other boats have been able to go back and forth for days. I later heard that boat, too, was canceled. I can hear the Gilligan’s Island song in my head. “Well sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…” I wonder who I’d be. Probably Gilligan, no? Even the army can’t help us! Shit!
So heading to Ananda’s for this detox that starts tomorrow I seriously feel like I’m checking into fat camp. And I’m acting like it, too. While I was waiting for my 2nd taxi I went into 7-11 to get tea, because that seemed like a healthy thing to do, but there was so much mayhem in there and so crazy I instinctively grabbed a bag of chocolates and in the taxi started ramming them in my mouth, barely chewing, smiling a chocolate-glistening grin with crumbs all over me. I saved half the bag and once I got in my room I shoved the rest down my throat even faster. I was manically giggling and shoving the food in. Like a fat kid sneaking food at fat camp. I’m totally serious. I’m THAT pathetic.
Since I don’t technically start until 8am tomorrow I am shoveling in some pasta and beer and will have a cigarette for dessert.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
My last days in Pai kept being extended. Just when I thought I would leave the next day I reconsidered and stayed. This happened twice and I still wish I had stayed longer. Pai is a tiny little town jam-packed with hippies, shops, bars, live music and fashion victims. Like Burningman there’s a hippie fashion throughout but no one would ever claim to never be a fashion victim. Everyone’s so ‘different’ and ‘unique’ but really people start to bleed together and look the same. It’s funny how that happens. I’m a total victim of the baggie multi-colored pants and headbands, so there. All I need are some dreadlocks. And don’t think I haven’t been considering it.
The hippie laid-back vibe and interesting people I met just grew exponentially in my heart every day. Usually when I travel alone I hole up, by choice, which I did a lot there, but I also stopped to talk to people and get their stories, and every one was more interesting than the last. Even through grueling stories of losing wives to bipolar schizophrenia and things of the sort, the contentment of each individual was something you can’t explain unless you look in their eyes, or pass them in the street with a big grin, and get the same in return. Dancing eyes.
There were also the people who landed there for a 3-day visit and live there - and these people were everywhere. I can totally see how it would happen. It’s such a magical little piece of heaven. With killer drink specials, cheap yummy food, $5 massages, live music and scenic mountains seemingly surrounding Pai with a warm, cozy hug.
I rented a bike to go to the waterfall not knowing it was 12km uphill. It was over 95 degrees and smack in the middle of the day, with the sun beating down on me and the ground moving higher and higher with each step. I had to push the damn 1-speed bike about 11 of the 12km because it was so steep. It took me over 2 hours to get there and less than a ½ to get back. The waterfall was totally not worth it but the challenge was, and at least I got to justify the massage afterward.
Speaking of massages, one night I was having a massage at sunset and could hear some progressive house music and bass in the distance and between that, the vibe, the smells and the weather I felt I could have actually been at Burningman. After my massage I followed the music to - of course - a DJ from San Francisco, Max, who was planning to go to Burningman this year with nothing but his backpack full of music. It was all surreal and felt like my current life and past lives were merging. Max was one of those people you can only take in small doses so I tried talking to his friend, Constantine from Austria. I told him I was planning to go to the islands and do a juice detox for a week and he started telling me about the silent meditation retreats he’s done, where you don’t talk for 10 days and just meditate. He had me hooked until he got more preachy than informative and I came to learn he’s a healer and does 6 hours of Thai Chi a day, and basically from a whole other world than me. I’d love to be that spiritual and all of it, but it’s just not in the cards for me to be so full-on. As I listened, eyes-wide, nodding, I sucked down a rum and coke in record time and realized this was never going to lead me to inspiration. It was going to lead to a hangover.
So, aside from the passing hippies there were also the quintessential over-stacked motorbikes that I adore. My mom would have a heart attack. My favorite was the person who had their kid behind them on the seat and the dog on the front of that tiny seat made for 1. The dog was just chillin with its paws hanging over the handlebars… hysterical! Then I also saw the other tourist that found a better method of traveling with his suitcase on a motorbike. He sat behind the driver and rolled the suitcase behind the bike. Why didn’t I think if that!? There’s always the babies on bikes too, and helmets don’t exist.
The place I stayed in Pai was magical. Bueng Pai Farm, where I had a quiet bungalow on a fishing pond out in the country. It was so serene and a great recommendation from a friend. I fell asleep to the sounds of fish jumping as I lay under my mozzie net. Heavenly! They had an organic farm and served breakfast - all vegetarian and home-grown. Every day I had a fruit and muesli bowl which was to-die-for and even had popcorn in it (!) and ice shakes. One day was a Lemongrass Iced Tea, another a Mint Ginger Iced Tea. So fresh, so incredible. And the coffee was stellar. They passed the coffee test with flying tie-dyed colors.
While I was there I took a full-day cooking course at Pai Cookery. Having attempted a few times to cook Thai food I was astonished by the small details that make the whole dish. I made red curry paste from scratch, which took no less than 30 minutes of pounding out the garlic, chillis, lemongrass, shallot, coriander, galangal, kefir lime peel, cumin and coriander seeds. We also made Pad Thai, Mixed Vegis, Coconut Milk Soup and Mango Sticky Rice dishes, and ate all them over the course - and they were incredible! I have the recipes but already shipped them home. Anyone who wants them (I’m talking to you Amy!) email me and I’ll send them when I get home. During my cooking class we listened to Backstreet Boys. Backstreet’s back, alright?
A Thai woman named ‘Q’ taught the class and also showed me there are 6 different ways to write her name, each with the smallest variance in sound. It’s no wonder I’ve had such a hard time picking up the basics in Thai language! I’ve got ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ down, despite the fact I’m sure my pronunciation is wrong and I’m butchering this beautiful language to death.
A guy from Holland, Lauzars, was the only other person in my class and since we were both traveling south we have taken the train and bus together. This is mostly because he’s really clingy. Super nice, but I am traveling alone because, well, I like to be alone. Anyway… here on in he will be known as Cling. Cling from Holland.
I also met an Israeli guy (err, little boy really) named Jonathan, who I also bumped into over and over. This was one of the cool things about Pai. After a few days I could walk around and bump into people I’d met and hang out for a bit and then move on. Repeat sightings. Jonathan, aka Yonathan my Israeli little brother pot head, had scored some weed within an hour of being there and went on to make me laugh for hours. Jonny did. Not the weed. Right. Anyway I bumped into him again my last night while I was watching a hippie-esque singer and guitar duo sing Sarah MacLachlan, Norah Jones and other stuff I love. He and I shared a bucket… as in a bucket of liquor, the specialty in Pai, although that was the only one I had AND I couldn’t even get through half. Somewhere in our conversation he actually said, “You remind me of my mom.” More on being the oldest person traveling in Thailand coming soon.
A few weeks earlier Jonny fell off a motorbike and his knee split open and he knee actually popped fully out of the skin. He had to fly back to Israel for surgery and was back traveling, just like that. He is just one of a handful of people I’ve met with motorbike accident stories and yet another reason I am sticking with my two little feet to get around.
The day I left Bueng Pai Farm the lovely managers, Run and Orn, gave me a gift wrapped in a banana leaf. It was a shirt and a little bag, and made me smile ear-to-ear. The warmth I found there was incredible and since I left I still think every day how much I felt at home there.
My last night in Pai as I was walking back to my hostel I was sneaking around feeding all the street dogs some jerky treats I bought earlier in the day. I was a but tipsy from the bucket I shared with Jonny and I was sort of dancing around and loving feeding time. A guy passed me on the street while I was and I straightened up, walked not danced, hid the dog treats (but couldn’t hide my pack of new friends following me), smiled at him and whispered “Don’t tell on me.” His response was, “No, you’re like The Pope!”
I am still laughing at that. Yep, me... just like the Pope. *cough*
From Pai I took a 3-hour bus trip to Chiang Mai where I stayed at an overpriced hotel but on the best little alley there. Overpriced in Thailand is $25 a night, and I had a TV in the room. Sweet! My little alley also had a little raggae bar that was super chill where the owner played a eukaleli and served 50baht ($1.50) yummy mojitos. A few doors down was Thai Thai Restaurant. The first time I went in there the owner/cook, P-Sea (not to be confused with PC, she told me a few hundred times), sat down and talked with me for an hour. She told me the next time I came in I could order anything I wanted and she’d take me in the kitchen and show me how to cook it. And she did! And she let me videotape it (actually she insisted). She could explain all the ingredients except one, which she said she didn’t know if I have in my country. So I took a photo of this ‘Pork Flavoring,’ or in my best guess, MSG. No wonder I was so hooked on this lady’s cooking. “P-Sea,” I said, “Yes, I do think we have this in our country.” I didn’t tell her we don’t cook with it cause it’ll kill ya, though.
P-Sea also hooked me up with a discount for a one-day trek that included riding elephants, trekking, visiting a hill tribe, a bamboo boat ride, and a waterfall visit. I had a really great day because I enjoyed the people in my group. There were 2 doctors from London, a dentist and political student from Germany and a couple from Holland. It’s so beautiful that you can meet people from so far away with such different backgrounds yet share time and jokes seamlessly. So we did that day. Aside from them, I felt very sad. Talk about extreme overexposure. Those poor elephants were chained up and clocked on the head with a stick that had a metal hook on the end of it and I hated every minute of it. It was against my better judgment to go and I should have listened to my instincts. I’ve tried to do some volunteer work on this trip, helping elephants that have been rescued from these situations and I was too late to join the program. I feel shameful for spending money and ’supporting’ - monetarily - the elephant farm. It’s been sitting heavy on my heart ever since.
Back in Chiang Mai I met up with Cling from Holland and we did some shopping at the Chiang Mai night market (great stuff!) and took a night train to Bangkok to start our trip south. We decided to make a party train and brought some beers and Thai rum with us. We were being silly and dancing to cheesy pop music when we decided to go to the other car for a quick cigarette, when we encroached on the REAL Party Train to Bangkok. The dining car was packed with people, smokey and dark but with blinky neon lights and everyone was dancing to some Indian-inspired dance music. We hit the jackpot! After ordering a beer I danced with the older ladies from France that reminded me of my mom and had a perfect night of singing and dancing. Over a week into my trip and this was the first time I had a ‘night out’ of partying and it was surreal. Being bounced back and forth by the train and watching the night sky from the windows, smiling huge and shakin my butt. A memorable and needed night in Thailand.
We arrived in Bangkok right before 8am, just in time for the Thai anthem to be broadcast over the speakers. 2 people tried to stop us and I thought they were trying to sell me something so I barreled through. “Stop, please.” Then I realized this is part of their culture. 8am the anthem is played and everyone stops and salutes until it’s over. So after I finally figured it out I felt like an idiot for my insensitivity and joined in. They thanked me over and over afterward. Oops.
With a day to kill in Bangkok before a night bus south (yes, another night in transit…) we took a long boat on the river and went through some of the canals and got to see some temples, fishing villages and the river culture in general, with people in their little boats selling cokes, red bulls, hats, hand fans, etc. I will never forget one woman who approached us because I think I have never seen anyone as truly, genuinely happy as this woman. And why shouldn’t she be? She wanders around all day on her little boat meeting people and visiting friends on the canals. It makes me realize that life is what you make it. The simplest things can really bring the most joy.
I wish I could have learned more from that woman, because the rest of my day could have been great - spending a day sight-seeing in Bangkok. But I was exhausted, hungover, out of it. I wandered without looking at maps and was lost all day. I saw the inside of 2 cabs which both dropped me where I asked to be, but then I couldn’t find my way from there. I walked all day and by the time I got on the night bus I was cranky and dirty and slept all the way down.
My 6pm bus arrived - somewhere - at 6am. We were at an outdoor café covered from the rain. There we had a 1 ½ hour wait, then took a small van to another place where we waited for another bus… then that took us a couple hours to the ferry. It was Hell. It took forever. By the time we got to the ferry they were holding us because the waters were so rough. The rain was pouring and the wind was kicking. We got on the boat after about 20 minutes and for the next 2 hours we slammed through the high waves and I could only think how lucky I was for having a stable stomach, for once.
I’ve been on Koh Phangan for 2 nights now and it’s been a tropical monsoon the whole time. I am stayed at a place called Haad Son Resort and have finished 1 book and am almost through another. I have a bungalow with a covered porch and hammock. I’ve been lying in the hammock reading, chain-smoking and enjoying the sounds of the rain and wind, and the glistening, dripping tropical plants surrounding me. The food here is amazing and I had the best Thai fried Red Snapped with chili sauce in the world. The grounds are beautiful and there’s a great beach bar - with swings, hammocks, torches, overgrown palm tree shade, huts. I just wish the weather was nice enough to enjoy it! Today I am heading to The Santuary, to clean out my tar-stained lungs and exhausted liver, doing a 7-day detox cleanse and lots of yoga.
Sitting here today thinking... this is the calmest, happiest and whole I’ve ever been. What’s next?
The hippie laid-back vibe and interesting people I met just grew exponentially in my heart every day. Usually when I travel alone I hole up, by choice, which I did a lot there, but I also stopped to talk to people and get their stories, and every one was more interesting than the last. Even through grueling stories of losing wives to bipolar schizophrenia and things of the sort, the contentment of each individual was something you can’t explain unless you look in their eyes, or pass them in the street with a big grin, and get the same in return. Dancing eyes.
There were also the people who landed there for a 3-day visit and live there - and these people were everywhere. I can totally see how it would happen. It’s such a magical little piece of heaven. With killer drink specials, cheap yummy food, $5 massages, live music and scenic mountains seemingly surrounding Pai with a warm, cozy hug.
I rented a bike to go to the waterfall not knowing it was 12km uphill. It was over 95 degrees and smack in the middle of the day, with the sun beating down on me and the ground moving higher and higher with each step. I had to push the damn 1-speed bike about 11 of the 12km because it was so steep. It took me over 2 hours to get there and less than a ½ to get back. The waterfall was totally not worth it but the challenge was, and at least I got to justify the massage afterward.
Speaking of massages, one night I was having a massage at sunset and could hear some progressive house music and bass in the distance and between that, the vibe, the smells and the weather I felt I could have actually been at Burningman. After my massage I followed the music to - of course - a DJ from San Francisco, Max, who was planning to go to Burningman this year with nothing but his backpack full of music. It was all surreal and felt like my current life and past lives were merging. Max was one of those people you can only take in small doses so I tried talking to his friend, Constantine from Austria. I told him I was planning to go to the islands and do a juice detox for a week and he started telling me about the silent meditation retreats he’s done, where you don’t talk for 10 days and just meditate. He had me hooked until he got more preachy than informative and I came to learn he’s a healer and does 6 hours of Thai Chi a day, and basically from a whole other world than me. I’d love to be that spiritual and all of it, but it’s just not in the cards for me to be so full-on. As I listened, eyes-wide, nodding, I sucked down a rum and coke in record time and realized this was never going to lead me to inspiration. It was going to lead to a hangover.
So, aside from the passing hippies there were also the quintessential over-stacked motorbikes that I adore. My mom would have a heart attack. My favorite was the person who had their kid behind them on the seat and the dog on the front of that tiny seat made for 1. The dog was just chillin with its paws hanging over the handlebars… hysterical! Then I also saw the other tourist that found a better method of traveling with his suitcase on a motorbike. He sat behind the driver and rolled the suitcase behind the bike. Why didn’t I think if that!? There’s always the babies on bikes too, and helmets don’t exist.
The place I stayed in Pai was magical. Bueng Pai Farm, where I had a quiet bungalow on a fishing pond out in the country. It was so serene and a great recommendation from a friend. I fell asleep to the sounds of fish jumping as I lay under my mozzie net. Heavenly! They had an organic farm and served breakfast - all vegetarian and home-grown. Every day I had a fruit and muesli bowl which was to-die-for and even had popcorn in it (!) and ice shakes. One day was a Lemongrass Iced Tea, another a Mint Ginger Iced Tea. So fresh, so incredible. And the coffee was stellar. They passed the coffee test with flying tie-dyed colors.
While I was there I took a full-day cooking course at Pai Cookery. Having attempted a few times to cook Thai food I was astonished by the small details that make the whole dish. I made red curry paste from scratch, which took no less than 30 minutes of pounding out the garlic, chillis, lemongrass, shallot, coriander, galangal, kefir lime peel, cumin and coriander seeds. We also made Pad Thai, Mixed Vegis, Coconut Milk Soup and Mango Sticky Rice dishes, and ate all them over the course - and they were incredible! I have the recipes but already shipped them home. Anyone who wants them (I’m talking to you Amy!) email me and I’ll send them when I get home. During my cooking class we listened to Backstreet Boys. Backstreet’s back, alright?
A Thai woman named ‘Q’ taught the class and also showed me there are 6 different ways to write her name, each with the smallest variance in sound. It’s no wonder I’ve had such a hard time picking up the basics in Thai language! I’ve got ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ down, despite the fact I’m sure my pronunciation is wrong and I’m butchering this beautiful language to death.
A guy from Holland, Lauzars, was the only other person in my class and since we were both traveling south we have taken the train and bus together. This is mostly because he’s really clingy. Super nice, but I am traveling alone because, well, I like to be alone. Anyway… here on in he will be known as Cling. Cling from Holland.
I also met an Israeli guy (err, little boy really) named Jonathan, who I also bumped into over and over. This was one of the cool things about Pai. After a few days I could walk around and bump into people I’d met and hang out for a bit and then move on. Repeat sightings. Jonathan, aka Yonathan my Israeli little brother pot head, had scored some weed within an hour of being there and went on to make me laugh for hours. Jonny did. Not the weed. Right. Anyway I bumped into him again my last night while I was watching a hippie-esque singer and guitar duo sing Sarah MacLachlan, Norah Jones and other stuff I love. He and I shared a bucket… as in a bucket of liquor, the specialty in Pai, although that was the only one I had AND I couldn’t even get through half. Somewhere in our conversation he actually said, “You remind me of my mom.” More on being the oldest person traveling in Thailand coming soon.
A few weeks earlier Jonny fell off a motorbike and his knee split open and he knee actually popped fully out of the skin. He had to fly back to Israel for surgery and was back traveling, just like that. He is just one of a handful of people I’ve met with motorbike accident stories and yet another reason I am sticking with my two little feet to get around.
The day I left Bueng Pai Farm the lovely managers, Run and Orn, gave me a gift wrapped in a banana leaf. It was a shirt and a little bag, and made me smile ear-to-ear. The warmth I found there was incredible and since I left I still think every day how much I felt at home there.
My last night in Pai as I was walking back to my hostel I was sneaking around feeding all the street dogs some jerky treats I bought earlier in the day. I was a but tipsy from the bucket I shared with Jonny and I was sort of dancing around and loving feeding time. A guy passed me on the street while I was and I straightened up, walked not danced, hid the dog treats (but couldn’t hide my pack of new friends following me), smiled at him and whispered “Don’t tell on me.” His response was, “No, you’re like The Pope!”
I am still laughing at that. Yep, me... just like the Pope. *cough*
From Pai I took a 3-hour bus trip to Chiang Mai where I stayed at an overpriced hotel but on the best little alley there. Overpriced in Thailand is $25 a night, and I had a TV in the room. Sweet! My little alley also had a little raggae bar that was super chill where the owner played a eukaleli and served 50baht ($1.50) yummy mojitos. A few doors down was Thai Thai Restaurant. The first time I went in there the owner/cook, P-Sea (not to be confused with PC, she told me a few hundred times), sat down and talked with me for an hour. She told me the next time I came in I could order anything I wanted and she’d take me in the kitchen and show me how to cook it. And she did! And she let me videotape it (actually she insisted). She could explain all the ingredients except one, which she said she didn’t know if I have in my country. So I took a photo of this ‘Pork Flavoring,’ or in my best guess, MSG. No wonder I was so hooked on this lady’s cooking. “P-Sea,” I said, “Yes, I do think we have this in our country.” I didn’t tell her we don’t cook with it cause it’ll kill ya, though.
P-Sea also hooked me up with a discount for a one-day trek that included riding elephants, trekking, visiting a hill tribe, a bamboo boat ride, and a waterfall visit. I had a really great day because I enjoyed the people in my group. There were 2 doctors from London, a dentist and political student from Germany and a couple from Holland. It’s so beautiful that you can meet people from so far away with such different backgrounds yet share time and jokes seamlessly. So we did that day. Aside from them, I felt very sad. Talk about extreme overexposure. Those poor elephants were chained up and clocked on the head with a stick that had a metal hook on the end of it and I hated every minute of it. It was against my better judgment to go and I should have listened to my instincts. I’ve tried to do some volunteer work on this trip, helping elephants that have been rescued from these situations and I was too late to join the program. I feel shameful for spending money and ’supporting’ - monetarily - the elephant farm. It’s been sitting heavy on my heart ever since.
Back in Chiang Mai I met up with Cling from Holland and we did some shopping at the Chiang Mai night market (great stuff!) and took a night train to Bangkok to start our trip south. We decided to make a party train and brought some beers and Thai rum with us. We were being silly and dancing to cheesy pop music when we decided to go to the other car for a quick cigarette, when we encroached on the REAL Party Train to Bangkok. The dining car was packed with people, smokey and dark but with blinky neon lights and everyone was dancing to some Indian-inspired dance music. We hit the jackpot! After ordering a beer I danced with the older ladies from France that reminded me of my mom and had a perfect night of singing and dancing. Over a week into my trip and this was the first time I had a ‘night out’ of partying and it was surreal. Being bounced back and forth by the train and watching the night sky from the windows, smiling huge and shakin my butt. A memorable and needed night in Thailand.
We arrived in Bangkok right before 8am, just in time for the Thai anthem to be broadcast over the speakers. 2 people tried to stop us and I thought they were trying to sell me something so I barreled through. “Stop, please.” Then I realized this is part of their culture. 8am the anthem is played and everyone stops and salutes until it’s over. So after I finally figured it out I felt like an idiot for my insensitivity and joined in. They thanked me over and over afterward. Oops.
With a day to kill in Bangkok before a night bus south (yes, another night in transit…) we took a long boat on the river and went through some of the canals and got to see some temples, fishing villages and the river culture in general, with people in their little boats selling cokes, red bulls, hats, hand fans, etc. I will never forget one woman who approached us because I think I have never seen anyone as truly, genuinely happy as this woman. And why shouldn’t she be? She wanders around all day on her little boat meeting people and visiting friends on the canals. It makes me realize that life is what you make it. The simplest things can really bring the most joy.
I wish I could have learned more from that woman, because the rest of my day could have been great - spending a day sight-seeing in Bangkok. But I was exhausted, hungover, out of it. I wandered without looking at maps and was lost all day. I saw the inside of 2 cabs which both dropped me where I asked to be, but then I couldn’t find my way from there. I walked all day and by the time I got on the night bus I was cranky and dirty and slept all the way down.
My 6pm bus arrived - somewhere - at 6am. We were at an outdoor café covered from the rain. There we had a 1 ½ hour wait, then took a small van to another place where we waited for another bus… then that took us a couple hours to the ferry. It was Hell. It took forever. By the time we got to the ferry they were holding us because the waters were so rough. The rain was pouring and the wind was kicking. We got on the boat after about 20 minutes and for the next 2 hours we slammed through the high waves and I could only think how lucky I was for having a stable stomach, for once.
I’ve been on Koh Phangan for 2 nights now and it’s been a tropical monsoon the whole time. I am stayed at a place called Haad Son Resort and have finished 1 book and am almost through another. I have a bungalow with a covered porch and hammock. I’ve been lying in the hammock reading, chain-smoking and enjoying the sounds of the rain and wind, and the glistening, dripping tropical plants surrounding me. The food here is amazing and I had the best Thai fried Red Snapped with chili sauce in the world. The grounds are beautiful and there’s a great beach bar - with swings, hammocks, torches, overgrown palm tree shade, huts. I just wish the weather was nice enough to enjoy it! Today I am heading to The Santuary, to clean out my tar-stained lungs and exhausted liver, doing a 7-day detox cleanse and lots of yoga.
Sitting here today thinking... this is the calmest, happiest and whole I’ve ever been. What’s next?
Friday, March 18, 2011
Ode to My Mom's Piece of Mind
Dear Mom,
I have to tell you 2 of the funniest stories before I forget!
Yesterday when I was in Bangkok waiting for my train I got a knot in my stomach and realized I had to poo. I ran to the bathroom and realized I had to pay to use it. No problem, I pulled out some money (it was only pennies) and got in the cue. The line meant nothing and in order to get to the stall I needed to push my way there. By now I was sort of desperate, if you know what I mean, and started pushing my way. I was so relieved to get in the stall until I remembered where I was and that things are very different here. There wasn't a toilet but rather a porcelain hole with tracks on the side so your feet don't slip. Not ideal, but okay... when you gotta go you gotta go. After squatting and doing my business I realized bathrooms here don't have toilet paper either. They have a little squirt nozzle, like the one we used to have in the kitchen sink. Reminded me of home! Except I never poo'd in your sink. So, I removed it and squirt my butt, leaving the stall not knowing if I got it clean or dry enough to not have a wet spot on my bum. Good thing I was only getting a sleeper train and in those clothes for the next 15 hours.
Speaking of the sleeper train, it was remarkably clean and comfortable. My only issue was that I woke myself up from a roaring snore due to my dust mite allergies kicking in. In the morning I heard the guy next to me telling his girlfriend he couldn't sleep because the woman next to him (ahem, me) was roaring snoring. Oops.
Did I tell you I'm the only person traveling with a suitcase? Today it became a bit of an issue when I got into Pai and learned the taxis are motorbikes. You would have laughed if you'd seen me on the back of this motorbike... I had a huge backpack on and the driver had my suitcase between his legs. Luckily the 3km ride wasn't too bad. The roads were at least paved, even if they were hilly and covered in pot holes.
Last night I stayed in town until 10pm and decided to walk back to my country house alone instead of finding a taxi/motorbike/tuk-tuk. The countryside in Thailand is so desolate and beautiful. At one point a pack of dogs blocked my way barking but eventually let me pass. Other than that I enjoyed my night walk under the moon and stars in this foreign, far-away place.
Having a great time! See, I told you there was nothing to worry about!
Love, Me
I have to tell you 2 of the funniest stories before I forget!
Yesterday when I was in Bangkok waiting for my train I got a knot in my stomach and realized I had to poo. I ran to the bathroom and realized I had to pay to use it. No problem, I pulled out some money (it was only pennies) and got in the cue. The line meant nothing and in order to get to the stall I needed to push my way there. By now I was sort of desperate, if you know what I mean, and started pushing my way. I was so relieved to get in the stall until I remembered where I was and that things are very different here. There wasn't a toilet but rather a porcelain hole with tracks on the side so your feet don't slip. Not ideal, but okay... when you gotta go you gotta go. After squatting and doing my business I realized bathrooms here don't have toilet paper either. They have a little squirt nozzle, like the one we used to have in the kitchen sink. Reminded me of home! Except I never poo'd in your sink. So, I removed it and squirt my butt, leaving the stall not knowing if I got it clean or dry enough to not have a wet spot on my bum. Good thing I was only getting a sleeper train and in those clothes for the next 15 hours.
Speaking of the sleeper train, it was remarkably clean and comfortable. My only issue was that I woke myself up from a roaring snore due to my dust mite allergies kicking in. In the morning I heard the guy next to me telling his girlfriend he couldn't sleep because the woman next to him (ahem, me) was roaring snoring. Oops.
Did I tell you I'm the only person traveling with a suitcase? Today it became a bit of an issue when I got into Pai and learned the taxis are motorbikes. You would have laughed if you'd seen me on the back of this motorbike... I had a huge backpack on and the driver had my suitcase between his legs. Luckily the 3km ride wasn't too bad. The roads were at least paved, even if they were hilly and covered in pot holes.
Last night I stayed in town until 10pm and decided to walk back to my country house alone instead of finding a taxi/motorbike/tuk-tuk. The countryside in Thailand is so desolate and beautiful. At one point a pack of dogs blocked my way barking but eventually let me pass. Other than that I enjoyed my night walk under the moon and stars in this foreign, far-away place.
Having a great time! See, I told you there was nothing to worry about!
Love, Me
Singha and Cigarettes
Hello from Bangkok, Thailand… the creepiest city I’ve ever been to. I arrived after midnight 2 nights ago and had a pre-booked hotel that I chose based on the Lonely Planet guide. They recommended the area I stayed in since it was one of the closest to the airport, even if is was some 35km away. The neighborhood is called Sukhumvit, or in English: Hookerville.
The hotel itself was fine and there were a lot of upscale hotels there, but it was the things people that lined the streets that made me uncomfortable and gave me severe anxiety. This neighborhood had small alley-like roads lined with vacant construction sites, 7-11s and massage parlors, and flooded with tuk-tuks, taxis, cars, bikes, people, dogs, cats… you name it. I don’t mind playing Frogger and coming from NY the traffic doesn’t really phase me. So I will focus on the other parts.
The main road was lined with shopping booths jammed into every inch selling random (cool) things, like light-weight comfy pants, t-shirts, thai god statues, fruit (coconuts with a straw - love!), hand-carved wooden dildos (really.), etc. And between the booths are some of the most beautiful young women dressed in the highest heels and shortest skirts. Around them I was invisible but the old white men were not. Let’s just saw the term ‘street meat’ took on a whole new meaning for me.
A handful of friends gave me tons of recommendations before I got here and one was to eat the street food. So I hunted down some street food and realized a English-speaking vegetarian with high food preparation standards is in for serious trouble if I’m going to venture to street food land. After my first attempt was made with (mystery) meat (that had been pre-cut and piled in plastic shopping bags sitting in the sun) a nice young Thai person helped me explain I wanted only vegis. The food lady had no problem with that and was more than happy to not clean the wok or use a different prep plate and make me vegi fried rice. Sweet.
While I was waiting for my rice this beautiful Asian woman dressed in high heels and a tight dress walked up to the booth and told her gorgeous daughter to say hi to the food lady. I couldn’t believe the eyes that were sunken into this stunning woman’s face. To say they were red and bloodshot would be quite an understatement. They looked more like they had been removed from her face, scrubbed with a brillo pad, and replaced. I’ve seen a fair share of people drugged up and this even shocked me. I think the most surprising part was that other than her eyes, she was perfect. Her hair was done perfectly and she had lovely posture. It was just… sad.
Okay so for the rest… I made a list of things that made an impression on me. Here’s that list:
- Massages. Everywhere, and CHEAP! I got a 1 ½ hour Thai Massage - probably the best I ever had - and it cost me about $12. Then later, when I was too nervous to go anywhere else, I got a 1 hour foot reflexology massage that cost about $10. Both in the same day. That’s how I roll.
a. Oil massages. Usually only about $3 more than a regular massage and are offered everywhere. They include a happy ending. I still haven’t figured out if it’s just for men, but I’m not about to try to find out.
- Old white men with gorgeous, young Thai girlfriends everywhere. Hey, I guess if I was a lonely old man I’d pay for it too. A week with one of these sweet little ladies has to be less than what they spent on meds each week.
- Very scared skinny dogs. There are more cats than dogs but the dogs all look horrified. I tried to buy dog treats but apparently they don’t sell them here. I walked down a street and found 2 dogs seemingly attached at the ass, under the tail. Like seriously attached. They moved together, together. I was seriously wondering if they were trying to protect their butts from the horny old white men.
- 7-11s are on every block and I can’t understand what any of the snack food is. All the labels are in Thai and have little cartoons on them. Where US 7-11s have gum on the counter, Thai 7-11s have KY Jelly.
- The only way I was able to settle down and calm my anxiety was Singha and cigarettes. I plan to use this tried and true method when necessary. Actually a Long Island Iced Tea (of all things - yes - I really did order that in Thailand) and a cigarette also worked, so I will keep that approach as back-up.
- English… not widely spoken! I know that shouldn’t be a surprise but I really just thought that since it’s such an international, large city it would be spoken more. Wrong. Oh, and signs in Thai are impossible to read if you don’t know Thai. Again, I should have expected it but I didn’t. As the only western woman on one of the alleys I was walking down a frustrated woman ran up to me and asked me, “Do you speak Australian?” I was very proud to be American at that moment.
- Speaking of Americans, why do so many older Americans travel to foreign countries wearing the American flag or camouflage on their shirts and belly bags? I just don’t understand it.
- The first person I spoke to when I arrived was my cab driver, who tried so hard to speak English to me but I couldn’t understand much. I did understand when he told me some of the streets were flooded. He said, “You know flood?” I told him I did. Then he said, “What the flood?” and laughed for the rest of the trip repeating it over and over. What the flood?
After a good sleep (thanks to that LIIT) I checked out today and got lost in Chinatown and I LOVED it. I’ve been in Chinatown in NY and SF yet this one was super exciting for me. The streets were also filled with speeding cars and tuk-tuks and lined with little shops and and street food but here it was much safer and more pleasant (I.e., no hookers. Visible). Chinatown is a maze of little streets with stores that sell shoes, DVDs, stickers, purses, hair bows, gold-plated coffins, gold necklaces, giant bags of mushrooms and rice and Chinese food.
After a day getting lost in Chinatown I’m sitting in the train station waiting for my overnight train to Chang Mai. I had some time to kill so I got a $5 1-hour foot massage and a $2 Pad Thai. I have the softest feet in Bangkok.
The hotel itself was fine and there were a lot of upscale hotels there, but it was the things people that lined the streets that made me uncomfortable and gave me severe anxiety. This neighborhood had small alley-like roads lined with vacant construction sites, 7-11s and massage parlors, and flooded with tuk-tuks, taxis, cars, bikes, people, dogs, cats… you name it. I don’t mind playing Frogger and coming from NY the traffic doesn’t really phase me. So I will focus on the other parts.
The main road was lined with shopping booths jammed into every inch selling random (cool) things, like light-weight comfy pants, t-shirts, thai god statues, fruit (coconuts with a straw - love!), hand-carved wooden dildos (really.), etc. And between the booths are some of the most beautiful young women dressed in the highest heels and shortest skirts. Around them I was invisible but the old white men were not. Let’s just saw the term ‘street meat’ took on a whole new meaning for me.
A handful of friends gave me tons of recommendations before I got here and one was to eat the street food. So I hunted down some street food and realized a English-speaking vegetarian with high food preparation standards is in for serious trouble if I’m going to venture to street food land. After my first attempt was made with (mystery) meat (that had been pre-cut and piled in plastic shopping bags sitting in the sun) a nice young Thai person helped me explain I wanted only vegis. The food lady had no problem with that and was more than happy to not clean the wok or use a different prep plate and make me vegi fried rice. Sweet.
While I was waiting for my rice this beautiful Asian woman dressed in high heels and a tight dress walked up to the booth and told her gorgeous daughter to say hi to the food lady. I couldn’t believe the eyes that were sunken into this stunning woman’s face. To say they were red and bloodshot would be quite an understatement. They looked more like they had been removed from her face, scrubbed with a brillo pad, and replaced. I’ve seen a fair share of people drugged up and this even shocked me. I think the most surprising part was that other than her eyes, she was perfect. Her hair was done perfectly and she had lovely posture. It was just… sad.
Okay so for the rest… I made a list of things that made an impression on me. Here’s that list:
- Massages. Everywhere, and CHEAP! I got a 1 ½ hour Thai Massage - probably the best I ever had - and it cost me about $12. Then later, when I was too nervous to go anywhere else, I got a 1 hour foot reflexology massage that cost about $10. Both in the same day. That’s how I roll.
a. Oil massages. Usually only about $3 more than a regular massage and are offered everywhere. They include a happy ending. I still haven’t figured out if it’s just for men, but I’m not about to try to find out.
- Old white men with gorgeous, young Thai girlfriends everywhere. Hey, I guess if I was a lonely old man I’d pay for it too. A week with one of these sweet little ladies has to be less than what they spent on meds each week.
- Very scared skinny dogs. There are more cats than dogs but the dogs all look horrified. I tried to buy dog treats but apparently they don’t sell them here. I walked down a street and found 2 dogs seemingly attached at the ass, under the tail. Like seriously attached. They moved together, together. I was seriously wondering if they were trying to protect their butts from the horny old white men.
- 7-11s are on every block and I can’t understand what any of the snack food is. All the labels are in Thai and have little cartoons on them. Where US 7-11s have gum on the counter, Thai 7-11s have KY Jelly.
- The only way I was able to settle down and calm my anxiety was Singha and cigarettes. I plan to use this tried and true method when necessary. Actually a Long Island Iced Tea (of all things - yes - I really did order that in Thailand) and a cigarette also worked, so I will keep that approach as back-up.
- English… not widely spoken! I know that shouldn’t be a surprise but I really just thought that since it’s such an international, large city it would be spoken more. Wrong. Oh, and signs in Thai are impossible to read if you don’t know Thai. Again, I should have expected it but I didn’t. As the only western woman on one of the alleys I was walking down a frustrated woman ran up to me and asked me, “Do you speak Australian?” I was very proud to be American at that moment.
- Speaking of Americans, why do so many older Americans travel to foreign countries wearing the American flag or camouflage on their shirts and belly bags? I just don’t understand it.
- The first person I spoke to when I arrived was my cab driver, who tried so hard to speak English to me but I couldn’t understand much. I did understand when he told me some of the streets were flooded. He said, “You know flood?” I told him I did. Then he said, “What the flood?” and laughed for the rest of the trip repeating it over and over. What the flood?
After a good sleep (thanks to that LIIT) I checked out today and got lost in Chinatown and I LOVED it. I’ve been in Chinatown in NY and SF yet this one was super exciting for me. The streets were also filled with speeding cars and tuk-tuks and lined with little shops and and street food but here it was much safer and more pleasant (I.e., no hookers. Visible). Chinatown is a maze of little streets with stores that sell shoes, DVDs, stickers, purses, hair bows, gold-plated coffins, gold necklaces, giant bags of mushrooms and rice and Chinese food.
After a day getting lost in Chinatown I’m sitting in the train station waiting for my overnight train to Chang Mai. I had some time to kill so I got a $5 1-hour foot massage and a $2 Pad Thai. I have the softest feet in Bangkok.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
