The Movie Star, Professor and Mary-Ann...

I finally got away from the hotel I’ve been stranded and lonely in, watching the torrential tropical rains from my bungalow and feeling the huge gusts of wind rip the leaves off the trees surrounding me. Protecting me. Before I did I was able to rent a DVD player in my bungalow and I watched ‘The Beach’ with Leonardo DeCaprio, which was actually filmed in Bangkok and here in the islands in Thailand and it was fun to watch what it *would* look like here if it weren’t pouring. Crazy to believe it’s the same place. Just as crazy was looking through the brochure for my resort, Tommy’s, which appears to be at the heart of the full moon parties. These photos show tons of people partying to psy-trance on the beach, painting their bodies in glow paints, drinking buckets of coke/rum/red bull and raving their asses off. The only people I saw while I was there were the people running around repairing leaving bungalows, collecting wind-thrown trash and branches, etc. I can’t believe it was the same place!!

Today I was able to get to the other side of the island to a detox/yoga place called Ananda Wellness Resort. My taxi driver showed me the HUGE boulder that had fell, blocked half of the road and taken down the electric line, which is why we were without electricity for 2 days. The entire island is in shambles. During our drive he told me he’d never seen this before. We’re supposed to be ‘sweating our tits off.’ Ahhh how I wish we were.

I had to switch taxis at the pier (because nothing can be as smooth as 1 car actually going a whole 10km in Thailand) and there were hundreds of backpackers, hiding under roofs and waiting and trashing 7-11. They were all waiting for the boat the army was sending over to get ‘stranded’ people on the island. No other boats have been able to go back and forth for days. I later heard that boat, too, was canceled. I can hear the Gilligan’s Island song in my head. “Well sit right back and you’ll hear a tale…” I wonder who I’d be. Probably Gilligan, no? Even the army can’t help us! Shit!

So heading to Ananda’s for this detox that starts tomorrow I seriously feel like I’m checking into fat camp. And I’m acting like it, too. While I was waiting for my 2nd taxi I went into 7-11 to get tea, because that seemed like a healthy thing to do, but there was so much mayhem in there and so crazy I instinctively grabbed a bag of chocolates and in the taxi started ramming them in my mouth, barely chewing, smiling a chocolate-glistening grin with crumbs all over me. I saved half the bag and once I got in my room I shoved the rest down my throat even faster. I was manically giggling and shoving the food in. Like a fat kid sneaking food at fat camp. I’m totally serious. I’m THAT pathetic.

Since I don’t technically start until 8am tomorrow I am shoveling in some pasta and beer and will have a cigarette for dessert.